Transgender pain

If you don't believe a transgender male is a valid male please don't comment I'm in pain and don't want my time wasted

I have been a Christian for 5 years been tortured by transgender pain since 5.
I hate God for ever being born. I love God for loving me while I curse him anyway.

I'm looking for prayers, if this was a right to die state I'd be in heaven with the Almighty God, Jesus, who will take away my tears.

I'm about to undergo 12 weeks of therapy in which I hope to convince my therapist that I have no quality of life, I'm so sickened by my female lie of a body. I want the therapist to then listen to my agony between being transgender and my hatred towards God for it

Welcome!

1.) Anyone on this forum can comment on any post... if you can't accept that, you should NOT be in a place that allows free speech.

2.) ALL traditional Christians, who have traditional beliefs, believe the EXACT OPPOSITE of you.... that will be almost everyone here.

3.) Christians with traditional beliefs will usually try to be loving and kind... but "loving" does not mean to be in "agreement" with you.
WHY?
It doesn't help anyone if we agree with them by ignoring the truth and reality.



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When free speech gets in the way of compassion I can't see God in it

- When someone has mental health issues, it isn't compassionate to agree with their delusions, and enable them to remain unwell.
- It's compassionate to talk to them about truth and reality.


This isn't the right community if you seek delusions... this is a place for truth and reality.

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I have true and honest compassion for your pain.

I absolutely do. I am certain it's real. So please remember that upon reading my comments.

I KNOW I was born with all manner of sinful desires. Sadly, I have succumbed to some, even after becoming a Christian.

But the ONE thing I will NEVER do is say that those desires are not sin.
OR, to blame God for having these thoughts and desires.

We live in a broken, hurting world, derived from a broken sinful race of humans.

God became flesh, in the form of His Son, Jesus Christ, to pay for and rectify our sin and fallen nature through actually DYING for us! Not sure what else could ever be asked from Him to show us how deeply He loves and cares for us.

Now you can choose to believe that it is God who is at fault for you thinking you are a man, or you can understand that it is US who are to blame for our own nature, and that Satan constantly whispers lies and hatred about God in your ears.

The key is take your eyes off of YOURSELF, and put them squarely, and continuously on HIM.

I pray the Lord open your eyes to this truth, and that you will become at peace with the truth of what your nature is, and NOT obey it, but rather Him.

Hi!!
I used to struggle with similar pain as you, except my deepest pain was centered around my race, in all sincerity. Hopefully my personal experience can give you some hope, and the motivation to seek salvation through Jesus Christ.

I was in middle school, looking in the mirror, when it dawned on me that the race of people I had heard terrible, tragic things about was actually my race. As I looked in the mirror, I realized, I was considered Black--and most horrifically, I realized that when people saw me, they saw a Black girl--and I assumed they were likely already making all sorts of assumptions about me based on stereotypes and whatever else. This was devastating to me. Up until that point, I had never imagined myself to be a part of any race, but instead went through life just feeling like a person, a spirit and soul in a body.

I tried to distance myself from this reality, and researched ways I could permanently lighten my skin, change my hair texture, and my eye color. I was sick, and deeply depressed, and I hated myself vehemently.

I had several false beliefs:
I believed if I was white, my life would be better.
I believed I was born into the wrong family.
And most significantly, I strongly believed I was born into the wrong body.


But I believe God lovingly and patiently gave me a series of dreams that changed my perspective.

In one dream, I was in a bright, white space. I had the sense that I was in a giant gazebo of mirrors, but a sound like roaring water filled the space as though the water were pouring down the walls. In the dream, a voice, which I believe was God, asked me, "What do you want?" And because I perceived that I could ask for anything, and my heart was set on my worldly concerns, I said, "I want to be white." Instantly, I understood that my request had been granted. Not that I felt anything. That was, perhaps, what was strangest to me. I understood that I had what I had asked for, but I did not feel any different inside or out. I looked at my hands to make sure. Yes, I was white, but I very quickly realized that I still had problems. In fact, I even had some different problems! I had expected to feel different at least, but there was nothing different about the me on the inside. I just didn't have any melanin.


In another dream, I entered into what seemed like a heavenly establishment or business. Inside, there was a reception desk and everything. I went inside and sat in a booth that looked similar to one of those photo booths you might see in a mall or somewhere. On the wall beside me was a circular mirror in which I saw my face, the one the Lord gave me. But the mirror had a feature in which twisting a knob would reveal an alternative version of the person in the booth. And, unexpectedly, the alternate life to accompany it. I turned the knob, and as the mirror started turning, like a camera lens cover, it unveiled an alternate version of myself in which I was white. But, something stopped me. As I was turning, a realization came over me that in the alternate version of my life, in which I would be born white, all the family and friends that I currently have in this Black body would all be strangers to me, and I would have no right or reason to be a part of their lives. A different reality comes with a different purpose.
There would be no reason for the woman I call my mom to love me. I would be a member of a different family. And she would be like all the other strangers in the world, not knowing or even thinking about me.
Quickly, I stopped turning the knob. And I truly realized that I did not want a different family--which I would have to have if I would be born to a different race.


Now, I don't remember the space or span of time between my dreams, but they all happened around the same time. But in the dream which I will label my third dream, I was born a girl affected by dwarfism. I was short, kind of stocky, and my head was large in proportion to my body. But here's the thing that surprised me: I was Black. AND I was happy! I was not happy because I was Black. And neither did I feel any ill feelings about being Black. In fact, it did not appear that I was thinking about race at all. I was happy because I was helping people. I was living a life full of purpose. And I was absolutely, positively beaming with deeply felt and sincere joy.

When I awoke from each of these dreams, I realized that I was born into this body for a reason. There are people I am able to reach because of the person God created me to be. I am part of the body of Christ. And the Lord does not make mistakes.

This life is not about making external factors such as race, sex, or gender our identity. Life is so much more than what's on the surface. Instead, it is about submitting ourselves and our wills to the will of God.

The Lord also made humans male and female for a reason.

I don't know what your specific purpose is, but I know God has a plan for your life.

There is a reason why you were born into the body that you were born into.

If we are to discover God's beautiful purposes for our lives, we must be willing to surrender our lives and our desires to Him.

In order to be able to do that, we have to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, he will give you a new heart with new desires for righteousness.

I will be praying for you.

I'm sorry but are you serious? this is supposed to be the exact place to help people like this, you see the flaws but what do you do about it ?you call them delusional imstead of helping them how very CXhjstian of you, You think they haven't heard all of thios before?
And by the way it isn't a choice but this person loves God though they struggle with this thorn at their side.

This is reason people such as this refuse to accpet God or even go to church if I am not mistaken Jesus ate and drank with such people t\nut tje phairsees had the oppisite tactic life and death is in the tongue

Hi, Greyfray.

I hope it is okay if I ask you a couple of questions.

What happened at age 5 to initiate your transgender pain?

How do you think life would be different for you as a male?

Thank you.

What's up Blain, I hope you're doing well and it's awesome "seeing" you again. I agree with what you're saying here for the most part. I understand you're point and don't disagree, it should be a safe place to come for ALL, but I also agree with Maxwel and don't see his comment the same way you did. I actually see it as loving as blunt as it was, we tell the people we love the truth. Right? And obviously he could have softened it up a bit and not come across as "counter attack-ish" as it did, but every word he said was truth. This wasn't why I felt compelled to respond though, it was the part where you said "And by the way it isn't a choice". What wasn't their choice? I wasn't 100% clear on exactly what you meant by that and would like to before I comment further.

Again, this conversation aside, it's great talking with you again and I hope you have a great day.

In order to be able to do that, we have to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, he will give you a new heart with new desires for righteousness.

I will be praying for you.[/QUOTE]

Your level of pain had to be excruciating! It looks like God healed you through dreams, praise God! I'm white so I feel soooo bad for everything you have been through! I couldn't even imagine; wanted to address a few of your points but I wanted to start off with this scripture I believe with my whole heart

Matthew 19:11-12 KJV
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

I was born this way. And while your pain has passed, mine has pushed me to get a living will and advanced directives because I've tried to kill myself 5 times now. Whatever purpose God has for me, I do not consent. I literally cannot live like this where everytime my chest moves I just want to die. The pain and rage that comes up for me by being associated with a female instead of a male...God knows I'd rather go to hell than be seen as a woman. Now you said give your life to Christ seek the kingdom of God and all will be added unto you... I'm five years in lol, gave my life to Jesus no matter hell or heaven. I have had miracles through God happen to me, looking at my phone reflection EXACTLY when it says "who is this man I see, starring back at me" and I love God for that, I feel he called me male Himself just as I prayed for.

Welcome to Christian chat, we can hear your pain and in similar ways we all have struggled with the lies of Satan.

The lie he tells me is to fear without proper reason beyond the scope of proper concern. I struggle with anxiety even though reality tells me I shouldn't have those feelings for average situations in life. It is sickening to constantly be plagued by such illness. Despite I know God over 300 times says do not fear.

But what has helped me is
1. Accept reality (if reality says there is nothing in this current moment to fear then I focus on that)
2. Believe God and His Words
3. Treat the lie with truth.
4. Renew your mind (train and rewire the brain to love truth over the lies)

How does this apply to you?

From your post I'm assuming you are genetically female.

1. The reality is centered in our genetic code. This doesn't mean a female will not have some masculine traits or will be the pink dressy type. Regardless God made you female without mistake. Sometime people deal with transgender issues due to childhood sexual abuse or the byproduct of nature vs nurture growing up.
2. Believe God that He formed you in the womb and all the beautiful things He has to say about women.
3. See the lie of Satan and combat it with the reality and truth of God's Word.
4. Keep doing this and those feelings and urges will become lesser as you focus on Jesus and the calling He has for your life.

Note: the urge may never completely leave just as sexual sin or anger may never leave another but every Christian has sin or sins they fight on a daily basis.

Hi there, thank you for your questions, whatever side you are on it helps me organize my pain.

So at age 5 I woke up to the realization that dresses made my soul scream. I was forced into them screaming all the way up till age 14ish, waaay to long, I told my guardian I would hate God if she didn't stop. I didn't know why I hated it, I thought it was because I felt naked. As an adult it's because dresses are to the majority, associated with females!

"How do you think your life would be different as a male"

I am male so I don't know lol.
But yet I love this question so I'll answer what you are probably asking.

First you have to understand the horror that hits me to be called girl. It's uncontrollable. I see females as friends, warriors, women ect, but I sit with the brothers not the sisters. Anything else would cause me excruciating pain and I would just never do it. That's like asking someone to touch a hot stovetop or telling a vegan to eat meat. Pardon my examples they may not live up to what I'm going for here, the point is, "me" is male or else there is no "me".

The difference between male and female is that an overwhelmingly amount of females are feminine. You may ask just be a tomboy then. No! Not this male thank you very much, I refuse to be associated with woman/females and femininity when I am so masculine and desire masculine brotherhood.

Straight up my soul will simply scream if looked at like a female or feminine, out of my control. Not even counting how uncomfortable it actually is to exist in a female body, like I cannot take off this stupid lie of a body and every time I have to deal with my body whether it's a mirror, a shower, scrubbing, reaching, it KILLS ME

Your level of pain had to be excruciating! It looks like God healed you through dreams, praise God! I'm white so I feel soooo bad for everything you have been through! I couldn't even imagine; wanted to address a few of your points but I wanted to start off with this scripture I believe with my whole heart

Matthew 19:11-12 KJV
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

I was born this way. And while your pain has passed, mine has pushed me to get a living will and advanced directives because I've tried to kill myself 5 times now. Whatever purpose God has for me, I do not consent. I literally cannot live like this where every time my chest moves I just want to die. The pain and rage that comes up for me by being associated with a female instead of a male...God knows I'd rather go to hell than be seen as a woman. Now you said give your life to Christ seek the kingdom of God and all will be added unto you... I'm five years in lol, gave my life to Jesus no matter hell or heaven. I have had miracles through God happen to me, looking at my phone reflection EXACTLY when it says "who is this man I see, starring back at me" and I love God for that, I feel he called me male Himself just as I prayed for.[/QUOTE]
I do not understand your dysphoria, I have no clue what it's like to feel I am in the wrong body. However I can 100% understand what it's like to want to die everyday more than anything else. I spent 2 years in that place where I couldn't go 5 minutes without thinking about killing myself. I'm not exaggerating at all, at least every 5 minutes for 2 solid years. I had lost complete function of my right (dominant) arm after a motorcycle wreak. I couldn't stop the thoughts either ALL DAY, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. At this point in my life I would have told you I was a Christian too, I thought I was. I went up front and repeated the words, I was baptized, I was declared saved by the pastor. Yet I did not know Him. You said you were a Christian the last 5 years, I'm not questioning that or telling you that you are not, but I would love for you to share with me what does that mean? What is being a Christian. Please do not take this as an attack, I'm not trying to invalidate you in any way.

I ask because when I was in this situation I couldn't have told you more than what I just said. I would have said something like "because I asked Him into my heart" kind of thing. Also I understand this is a very personal thing so if you even want to share with me you can just message me so it's not read by everyone. I would love to hear from you here or by message, whatever you feel most comfortable with, regardless if you do or don't I can tell you that Jesus is calling you and can give your chaotic heart the peace you seek, ONLY He can!

I do not understand your dysphoria, I have no clue what it's like to feel I am in the wrong body. However I can 100% understand what it's like to want to die everyday more than anything else. I spent 2 years in that place where I couldn't go 5 minutes without thinking about killing myself. I'm not exaggerating at all, at least every 5 minutes for 2 solid years. I had lost complete function of my right (dominant) arm after a motorcycle wreak. I couldn't stop the thoughts either ALL DAY, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. At this point in my life I would have told you I was a Christian too, I thought I was. I went up front and repeated the words, I was baptized, I was declared saved by the pastor. Yet I did not know Him. You said you were a Christian the last 5 years, I'm not questioning that or telling you that you are not, but I would love for you to share with me what does that mean? What is being a Christian. Please do not take this as an attack, I'm not trying to invalidate you in any way.

I ask because when I was in this situation I couldn't have told you more than what I just said. I would have said something like "because I asked Him into my heart" kind of thing. Also I understand this is a very personal thing so if you even want to share with me you can just message me so it's not read by everyone. I would love to hear from you here or by message, whatever you feel most comfortable with, regardless if you do or don't I can tell you that Jesus is calling you and can give your chaotic heart the peace you seek, ONLY He can![/QUOTE]

I accept Jesus as my Savior because he died on the cross for my sins, and I want a relationship with him and for him to teach me his ways so I can love correctly all the time. I also cannot be in this much pain and walk away from the one that made it all possible. There is no other God I can go to and that's a thought that has me rocking back and forth in my bed, that I have to accept love from the one that allowed this to happen to me. And may in the name of Jesus Christ, may I never ever know why God did this to me because there is no reason good enough. I should have never been born.

Well the thing is and by the way it is great speaking with you ahain let me ask you somethin if you tried to be attracted to the opposite sex would you honestly be able to?

The seed war begain with the garden with Adam and eve pay attention to how epoke to the serpant he mwntioned and even declared a war a]agsint his seed and the devil blood and abd wgare God said to the serpoanrt it has more to do with with the bloodline theseed war God declaired to the serpant

Seeds of bloodline have akways been imprtant to /god and the devikl knowed this copir\ies and corrupt hirhjat s works dna has everything to do God I even showed a five ninute video proving god's name is in our dna and dna is what nade the giants.
Thre point isn't whether they are transgenger or gay it is about showing and giving underrstand to help people nelieve me I have seen firsthanf these people have to struggle sure we can tell them it is sinful but if we can't even make ourself attracted ti the same how we C an can give an accurate diisplay of
Christ if we gave not ther understandung in things if the kkingdom is in your heart you qeon't name call or act ib the everyone who seeks him gsy or note he doesn't see as we do

I'm so sorry to hear this it reminds me when someone hits the breaking point of PTSD, Anxiety disorder, or OCD how everyday functions in life become extremely difficult.

Unfortunately, many who have been done your path tried hormone therapy and removed healthy body parts just to be scarred and still have the same feelings as before.

But many have found healing and are Ex-tran now. A huge movement has finally gone public despite the push to shut them up by LGBT activists.

Join a ex-tran Christian group and listen to how they found freedom or even made it to a place they love their body.

So if I get bottom and top surgery, it will never erase ever being called girl, and the countless times it's happened. I'm happily on T now. Yeah what you are referring to is detransition, I would straight up rather go to hell than try and "love my body". Detransitioners are rare and not the majority at all, and science has shown that transitioning someone into their desired gender can alleviate massive amounts of pain.

Your level of pain had to be excruciating! It looks like God healed you through dreams, praise God! I'm white so I feel soooo bad for everything you have been through! I couldn't even imagine; wanted to address a few of your points but I wanted to start off with this scripture I believe with my whole heart

Matthew 19:11-12 KJV
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

I was born this way. And while your pain has passed, mine has pushed me to get a living will and advanced directives because I've tried to kill myself 5 times now. Whatever purpose God has for me, I do not consent. I literally cannot live like this where everytime my chest moves I just want to die. The pain and rage that comes up for me by being associated with a female instead of a male...God knows I'd rather go to hell than be seen as a woman. Now you said give your life to Christ seek the kingdom of God and all will be added unto you... I'm five years in lol, gave my life to Jesus no matter hell or heaven. I have had miracles through God happen to me, looking at my phone reflection EXACTLY when it says "who is this man I see, starring back at me" and I love God for that, I feel he called me male Himself just as I prayed for.[/QUOTE]
Hello!!

I will try to answer as best I can with the time I currently have.

I strongly belief that the scripture referring to eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake is referring to those who willingly abstain from marriage and sexual relations so they can go about God's business. The other two kinds of Eunuchs I believe are referring to Eunuchs in this way:

"eunuch (n.)

"castrated man," late 14c., eunuk, from Latin eunuchus, from Greek eunoukhos "castrated man," originally "guard of the bedchamber or harem," from euno-, combining form of eune "bed," a word of unknown origin, + -okhos, from stem of ekhein "to have, hold" (from PIE root *segh- "to hold").
Harem attendants in Oriental courts and under the Roman emperors were charged with important affairs of state. The Greek and Latin forms of the word were used in the sense "castrated man" in the Bible but also to translate Hebrew saris, which sometimes meant merely "palace official," in Septuagint and Vulgate, probably without an intended comment on the qualities of bureaucrats. Related: Eunuchal; eunuchry; eunuchize."

---https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=eunuch

In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, Paul talks about virgins, singles, and married people. In singleness, we focus on how we can please God.
This is the kind of Eunuch I believe is being referrenced to as those who have done so for the kingdom of God.

I accept Jesus as my Savior because he died on the cross for my sins, and I want a relationship with him and for him to teach me his ways so I can love correctly all the time. I also cannot be in this much pain and walk away from the one that made it all possible. There is no other God I can go to and that's a thought that has me rocking back and forth in my bed, that I have to accept love from the one that allowed this to happen to me. And may in the name of Jesus Christ, may I never ever know why God did this to me because there is no reason good enough. I should have never been born.[/QUOTE]

What if I was to say that God is not the cause of your pain? This fallen world is. The reason you are in so much pain is because you know that something isn't right. You associated that with believing you are a male. But despite the belief, the genetic code and body parts say something different. Something happened along the way in childhood to bring about this pain. It may have been suppressed but God does have a plan for you. He does love you. He knows your pain and it is time to acknowledge it isn't God allowing this. The fallen nature of the world and the lies of Satan are keeping you from healing.

It is time to surrender and realize you can be freakin awesome as God created you and still hang with the guys. It will take time but it has to start at surrender.

You are stronger than you think and in the end you will realize how amazing God made you just as you are.