Hi STMOC. Hmmm, that makes me think of St. Moc. Can I call you Moc?
You could be in real trouble. When I came to the end of my rope, I had no support. My Christian friends were there but they were too immature to help me at all. My family, although supposedly Christian, were all contributing to the problem very severely, and the Christian family of the Christian girl I had been in love with had been slandering me for no reason and convinced her to reject me, and when it got too tough I did one small thing wrong that caused me so much guilt I thought I had lost my salvation, and my Christian family put me into a psych institution, even though I had just graduated top of my class from engineering school four months beforehand, and when they gave me what they gave me, it permanently ruined my mind and led to a dependency that destroyed my body and has had me disabled ever since then, for the past 16 years. I was never able to keep a job, and never able to support a girlfriend. My life essentially ended 16 years ago, and now I am unsafe because I will soon have no one to take care of me. As of right now I am desperately seeking Jesus and looking for other mature Christians who are familiar with suffering. It seems to me that God does not deliver everyone who is in trouble. It seems that all the Christian encouragement you can find comes from survivors and not from those who didn't make it. Consequently, the encouraging and optimistic Bible verses only go so far, but all ultimately fall short. I personally pray until I hear Jesus or His angels speak to me, but even then this has not protected me in life, even when I have needed it most. Please get back to me because I am looking for someone to join me as I seek the Lord for supernatural miracles at this point, because that is the only way for my brain and body to get healed to the point where I can work again.