Atheists and church weddings

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M

MaryM

Well-known member
#1
Nov 25, 2022
505
299
63
#1
I am curious as to why people who do not believe, are not committed Christians or church goers at all, still often want a church wedding. They do the compulsory attendance and thus get their beautiful day in a setting that obviously suits them for photographs, memories and dreams fulfilled.
The vicar knows the situation, but does his duty.

I just wondered why many who are neutral about God, feel they need s God's blessing on their union. Similarly why non-believers get their babies christened and want Christian funerals.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
27,257
9,305
113
#2
MaryM said:
I am curious as to why people who do not believe, are not committed Christians or church goers at all, still often want a church wedding. They do the compulsory attendance and thus get their beautiful day in a setting that obviously suits them for photographs, memories and dreams fulfilled.
The vicar knows the situation, but does his duty.

I just wondered why many who are neutral about God, feel they need s God's blessing on their union. Similarly why non-believers get their babies christened and want Christian funerals.
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Used to. They used to.

It's all tradition. Mostly their mothers wanted them to do it.

Today's mothers, not so much. Nobody can afford that kinda stuff no more, and nobody cares enough to scare up that much cash.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#3
Jul 3, 2015
59,946
29,307
113
#3
MaryM said:
I just wondered why many who are neutral about God, feel they need s God's blessing on their
union. Similarly why non-believers get their babies christened and want Christian funerals.
Click to expand...
They want to go to heaven. True, it makes little sense given their world view.
Do not make the mistake of expecting non-believers to be rational on these issues.
 
F

FollowingtheWay

Guest
#4
#4
It’s a tradition thing I think. Thinking back 10 years now…. Though my wife and I were not a part of a church organized . We didn’t have relationship with Jesus either . We didn’t get married in a Church building but had a home car garage wedding all decorated up with cultural-old American west themed-
we were living in sin and unrepentant . for some reason my wife’s family though not church goers or never once did I hear them speak openly about God or Jesus had the Wedding officiant recite 1Cor13 and a few other faith words. It was a woman judge who married us as well which was all set up by the brides family- Besides the few scripture verses it was a very secular non religious wedding. Some of which I’m not very proud of looking back. Overwhelming representation and support on her side of the family came . But Maybe out of all my side of the family who were invited only- my dad, brother, and an uncle. Have a hunch most of my family were opposed to the wedding and maybe even the relationship itself gauging by my dads begrudging attendance and pre wedding father/son talk . Had I do it over it would have been way different I think today but I wasn’t walking with the Lord back then either. Hard lessons on this subject for me. I think the Lord used it to help me grow towards Him as disappointing and rejecting as it really was in the moment for me.
 
M

MaryM

Well-known member
#5
Nov 25, 2022
505
299
63
#5
FollowingtheWay said:
It’s a tradition thing I think. Thinking back 10 years now…. Though my wife and I were not a part of a church organized . We didn’t have relationship with Jesus either . We didn’t get married in a Church building but had a home car garage wedding all decorated up with cultural-old American west themed-
we were living in sin and unrepentant . for some reason my wife’s family though not church goers or never once did I hear them speak openly about God or Jesus had the Wedding officiant recite 1Cor13 and a few other faith words. It was a woman judge who married us as well which was all set up by the brides family- Besides the few scripture verses it was a very secular non religious wedding. Some of which I’m not very proud of looking back. Overwhelming representation and support on her side of the family came . But Maybe out of all my side of the family who were invited only- my dad, brother, and an uncle. Have a hunch most of my family were opposed to the wedding and maybe even the relationship itself gauging by my dads begrudging attendance and pre wedding father/son talk . Had I do it over it would have been way different I think today but I wasn’t walking with the Lord back then either. Hard lessons on this subject for me. I think the Lord used it to help me grow towards Him as disappointing and rejecting as it really was in the moment for me.
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What an honest and humble reflection.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#6
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#6
Id be interested to know
I think parents or parents in laws might influence atheist couples to have weddings in churches ?

Back in the day it was really the only place you could marry apart from courthouse
My parents did so and they never went to church but one of the family friends was a minister and married them so that was that. Mums parents did not attend it was by proxy ..dads side was the wedding party but they were never churchgoers.

I think ministers might do it because they get paid or the church gets used as a venue though I dont really know how much it costs to have a wedding at church. I never had to plan one.
 
F

FollowingtheWay

Guest
#7
#7
Lanolin said:
Id be interested to know
I think parents or parents in laws might influence atheist couples to have weddings in churches ?

Back in the day it was really the only place you could marry apart from courthouse
My parents did so and they never went to church but one of the family friends was a minister and married them so that was that. Mums parents did not attend it was by proxy ..dads side was the wedding party but they were never churchgoers.

I think ministers might do it because they get paid or the church gets used as a venue though I dont really know how much it costs to have a wedding at church. I never had to plan one.
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Well ,my in -laws approval used to weigh heavy on me. I was scared of their disapproval.
Didn’t know at the time but I had an (Approval idolatry)They pretty much ran the whole wedding ceremony, organized everything, planned everything. I or the grooms family had very little input besides the major decoration theme. I’d try to assert my say and would get back-seated and told they would handle it.
I say this as graceful as I can because I do love my in-laws but I often wonder to myself would have my wedding party went on without me the groom? It sure felt that way and it took a long time to give those disappointments to God. I still struggle and get lost back into disappointment some days. There are times my in-laws tell strangers if this awesome wedding we had and my heart goes gee wiz I wish that was my experience. I was really kinda hurt and jaded by my experience overall . I have to wonder sometimes did my in-laws and I go to the same wedding? Where was I? Alas…perhaps the wickedness in my unsaved heart was what caused my sournesses to the ceremony and reception . It took a long time to largely let that bitterness go and give it to God some I’m still in process of letting go 10 years later by Gods grace.
 
Eli1

Eli1

Well-known member
#8
Apr 5, 2022
4,704
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#8
Yes, i also think this is more related to family tradition or even regional and different states or countries type of tradition.
It's more like for "Instagram" as someone said.
 
K

Karlon

Well-known member
#9
Mar 8, 2023
2,552
1,146
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#9
MaryM said:
I am curious as to why people who do not believe, are not committed Christians or church goers at all, still often want a church wedding. They do the compulsory attendance and thus get their beautiful day in a setting that obviously suits them for photographs, memories and dreams fulfilled.
The vicar knows the situation, but does his duty.

I just wondered why many who are neutral about God, feel they need s God's blessing on their union. Similarly why non-believers get their babies christened and want Christian funerals.
Click to expand...
a bit phunnneee! i thought about that years ago. it is so ingrained & conditioned in people to get married in a church that they think of nothing else. some atheists may think they'll be protected by God. (not going to happen; John 9:31). also this; so many people believe they have God's protection because they were told early in life: "God loves everyone"
 
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