Hi, I would just like to ask for a prayer from someone to remove all obstacles in my way, to remove any evil forces holding me back, and for me to receive obvious guidance as to what to do, or not do, as I have literally no idea what I am doing or where I am going anymore.
I am nearly 40 and have asked and prayed and got next to nothing other than an empty uneventful life of a nearly "dead church" with nice people who do their own thing in private, and I'm left to myself like everyone. Though I know quite a lot about the bible (for an average "loser" person) I have not direction of travel. I literally sit in my room doing nothing, thinking of something to do, but it seems God is holding me in a place to become an empty "mindless monk" or something, as there has been no progress in learning or desire or guidance or anything of joy hope or love or even selfishly money or leaving home, other than slowly being "forced" to give up more and more of everything leading to I don't know what, other than empty "monk like silence", with no "salvation work or fruit" etc. Where is the "fruit" or "blessings" or "rewards", or what do I do about this other than pray? Reading is also of no direction and seems dull with no point of use anymore, only in the beginning did God seem to do "much" then it seems "next to zero support"?
So yeah, a prayer to get rid of obstacles, but not to go against Gods will, if I am meant to end up "brainless" and of "no use" like "monks" seem etc. I thought christianity promised more than "emptyness and inactivity". Why give someone a brain if you want them to live like a "sheep"?
Anyway, any help appreciated, thanks. As you can tell I am a rubbish christian, sorry, but thanks for any prayer of help.
I am nearly 40 and have asked and prayed and got next to nothing other than an empty uneventful life of a nearly "dead church" with nice people who do their own thing in private, and I'm left to myself like everyone. Though I know quite a lot about the bible (for an average "loser" person) I have not direction of travel. I literally sit in my room doing nothing, thinking of something to do, but it seems God is holding me in a place to become an empty "mindless monk" or something, as there has been no progress in learning or desire or guidance or anything of joy hope or love or even selfishly money or leaving home, other than slowly being "forced" to give up more and more of everything leading to I don't know what, other than empty "monk like silence", with no "salvation work or fruit" etc. Where is the "fruit" or "blessings" or "rewards", or what do I do about this other than pray? Reading is also of no direction and seems dull with no point of use anymore, only in the beginning did God seem to do "much" then it seems "next to zero support"?
So yeah, a prayer to get rid of obstacles, but not to go against Gods will, if I am meant to end up "brainless" and of "no use" like "monks" seem etc. I thought christianity promised more than "emptyness and inactivity". Why give someone a brain if you want them to live like a "sheep"?
Anyway, any help appreciated, thanks. As you can tell I am a rubbish christian, sorry, but thanks for any prayer of help.
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