Please do not read on or join in if you are suffering because of abuse, or past abuse.
I do not want to cause anyone any upset or pain, and I don't want this to turn into a counselling or comfort thread, as vital as counsel and comfort are to anyone suffering in any way.
I am hoping commenters will avoid giving opinions and personal testimonies, and so on, and that we can just engage in a thorough examination of the scriptures on the subject, all and any of which may be triggering. There are other recent threads where this sort of thing is being discussed and they would really be a better place for anyone emotionally involved in the topic.
okay... so I was thinking about this topic as I read through the recent thread about Bad Marriages and God joining Couples together.
I didn't want to hijack the thread so decided to start a new one, that would just examine the scriptures on this topic of suffering abuse, and nothing else.
Asking the scholars among us to help, so hopefully wont end up with lots of angry critics...
At the risk of being taken the wrong way, I was wondering recently, why I and many other Christians, who would say we source our advice from Scripture, advocate abuse as a reason for divorce. I have myself often said a woman or a man being beaten by a spouse should certainly separate, though if I am being honest I could find no scripture to back that up. I thought it was plain commonsense and compassion I guess. I can find things that say God hates the innocent suffering, He hates men hurting their wives, sure, but nothing that says anyone is actually free to leave such a situation. I know also that men are instructed to love their wives etc. But, that isn't the point God seems to be addressing here, He obviously isn't justifying bad behaviour, abuse or mistreatment of others in these texts, but he doesn't seem to offer any way out for those who suffer it either.
I just want to make it clear that I am
not saying I believe people should stay in abusive situation. I am not even saying God believes that.
My heart breaks for those who experience the horror of being trapped in abusive situations of any kind, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But, I recently quoted a passage of scripture elsewhere, to show that a woman should not leave her husband (generally speaking) and vice versa. I looked at it again and suddenly realised it started with LIKEWISE, WIVES.... so I went back and read the proceeding portion of scripture to see what came before it.
The portion I read was as follows, I have underlined the portions that concerned me, and which all appear to be very much connected.
1 Peter 2
18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. 19
For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. 21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
(Continues straight into chapter 3)
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5
For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to
adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.
And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Slaves and women here appear to be under the same instruction, which is to adhere to the same example as Christ, who willingly and unjustly suffered as our example.
It is also clear that the other example given for women is that of
a woman who called her husband Lord, meaning master,
and who did so without fear of what could be called frightening - perhaps alluding to the possible repercussions of having an unconditional attitude of submission to someone in authority over you, such as those that slaves with wicked masters suffered, and that christ suffered at the hands of his torturers.
They have to submit to even those who do not obey the word, which would include the instructions to love their wives and treat them well etc.
I was also reminded of God's response to Hagar running away from severe mistreatment, and being made to return and to submit.
Gen 16
6...Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she fled from her.
7Now the angel of the LORD found Hagar by a spring of water in the desert—the spring along the road to Shur.
8“Hagar, servant of Sarai,” he said, “where have you come from, and where are you going?”
“
I am running away from my mistress Sarai,” she replied.
9So the angel of the LORD told her, “
Return to your mistress and submit to her authority.”
Yes, he does go on to tell her that her lineage will be blessed, but that would still be at the cost of going back to be mistreated, probably even enduring beatings and the like. There is no suggestion that Sarah laid off her mistreatment of Hagar at that point, treatment so severe a woman was willing to take her son and ran way into the wilderness.
I also think about Job, whom God permitted to be mistreated of by the devil, to the point of despairing of his own life. Yes blessing came after, but what a cost he paid, and what pain he was allowed to endure before hand.
1 Peter 2 and 3 seem to indicate the same is expected of slaves and women, with the assurance of being blessed if they submit and suffer unjustly as a result of that submitting, just as Christ did.
I know that it sounds very unreasonable to us, but I am have not found any loop-holes to get me out of what these verses seems to be saying.
So there you go, that is my dilemma at the moment in understanding this whole issue biblically, so that I can aline my understanding with all of the word of God, and not my human reasoning, or mere humanistic instincts.
PLEASE do not criticise and condemn me for it seeming to say the opposite of what I would like it to say. That is totally pointless. I am asking to be biblically educated about this, by those who know more than I do and can show me from scripture, where I may have missed something and misunderstood these texts.
I am not certainly not happy about seeing the connection and I seriously
hope to be corrected scripturally, with kindness and gentleness, as instructed in 2 Timothy 2. (I think that is in my signature if you want the exact quote.)
I know I am risking being mis-judged, but I am doing this in hopes someone can direct me to other
unambiguous, clear scriptures relating to this topic, that I am struggling to find, that would explain, or even hopefully somehow nullify, this seeming instruction to not only allow yourself to be beaten and mistreated, but to go so far as to honour or show respect to those who are inflicting it on you.
Thanks in advance.
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