Question for Married Folks about Singles

What do you think about Christian singles, and also those who are single and without kids? I know married and single can be transient stages, but if you consider yourself more in the "married" group please respond.

Do you generally perceive singles positively or negatively?

Do you think singles are selfish?

Do you think singles have loads of free time?

Let's start the list!

To encourage discussion...if singles want to post on what marrieds think of singles...feel feel to post.

Speaking for myself, I feel sorry for most singles. I know what Paul says, but I think we are designed to share life with someone.

Having said that, I DO NOT look down on singles at all. Just feel sad for them.

christian singles; stay single, the world is too wacky to bring up kids. single without kids. same. don't perceive singles as positive or negatively in general, too many variables. singles are not selfish if they choose not to have kids. like me, who has never even thought once to have kids, i just wasn't meant for it. singles have a lot of time to assist people in need which i have done. i assisted the elderly & handicapped for 37 years on a voluntary basis. loads of free time: only if your quite an inactive person.

I tend to look at individuals rather than groups. Honestly I would say n/a...does not apply to how I view single people

I don't know why I would think singles would be selfish. There are many reasons why a person could be single.

I've been single.....time passes the same for everyone but I would say I didn't have to check in with someone before doing whatever

I was single much of my adult life. My daughter is married with 4 kids. My son is single and seems set on staying that way. They are in their 30's
Single or married, makes no difference to me.
Most people are selfish, married or not
It's having children that eats up your time. Childless couples have more free time than those with kids.

I don't know any fellow singles who are more selfish than anyone else. Except... there is one guy on this site who talks about he not needing to do anything for anyone, or something like that (don't want to misrepresent what he says), and he sounds narcissistic, to be honest. But, he seems to be the exception, not the rule.

I envy married people to some degree. I am fully aware of the challenges of being married, as I have been there, and I know of Christian marriages that are terrestrial purgatories (not promoting the existence of such). But, I have my own good marriage to go on, and I miss that very much. I miss sex very much.

I have platonic friends on the coasts, but no one here in AZ. 3.5 years and I still do everything alone.

God tells us to not isolate ourselves, that it's not good for people to be alone... I guess I'm the exception

Continued...

Fighting to trust God's sovereign will on this. His will is superior in wisdom and rightness... but why does it seem that His superior paths too often need to hurt?

Add to this joblessness... AGAIN... plus an aging male body... and I feel rather emasculated. God is not "everything" to me. I wish He was, so stuff wouldn't bother me so much. I guess.

Sorry... this thread is not about me. I just went off on a venting binge.

Married couples, I ask only one thing of you: Do not flirt too much with one another or verbally fondle one another in front of single people. Some don't mind, but for some of us, it's like rubbing our eyes in salt. Example: I knew a Christian dude back in the 80s who would say to his young, beautiful wife, right in front of the rest of us who were mostly single, "You sure were hot last night..." And, he thought nothing wrong with it. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.

That's it. Shut it down. This is the definitive answer. Nothing more needs to be said here.

That's exactly how I feel when most people start talking about big groups of people as if all those people in the group are carbon copies of each other.

I feel the same about more than half the married people I know - the ones who have obviously married because they are scared of being alone, and put up with SO much crap because of it.

Of course there are couples who genuinely love each other. They do have something I don't have. I wouldn't say there's any room for them to feel sorry for us singles though...

I think happyily marrieds feel sad for singles because they feel singles are lonely. Some marrieds who are not really happy still think they are better off than singles. I think marrieds also feel subconsciously threatened by singles because what singles represent (freedom, in part) is a threat to married life. Freedom and married life don't go together. I also feel some marrieds feel something is wrong with singles, especially if a person seems eligible and put together as in, why can't they settle down/find someone. I actually know some very attractive people including a lady who recently retired, and wonder why they have been virtually single all their life (I know this lady only had one boyfriend in her 20s). She probably looked like Natalie Wood when young. Anyone who doesnt really follow the majority track is a bit of an outcast.

I got married at 33. I remember hating how people assumed I had all the time in the world because I was single with no kids. This was a season I was doing something with church almost every day, so I was busy! Lol

I dont think of singles any type of way.

Based on my experience...Some married people feel uncomfortable if they'll find out you are single.., they'll look at you like you are an alien lol 😂

But some will encourage you and applaud you coz of your courage to stay single especially if they'll find out your age 😅 they'll even add this "good for you you know marriage life is stressful if I can go back to being single I will" and will tell you to not try and enter a married life 😅

I do believe this is partly true or depends on the situation of your life because I just came back home and travelled back to my birthplace saw my childhood friends as old as me ....and they look so stressed out and aged not so well...I think raising kids and surviving life really take a toll in their physical appearance.


If singles are selfish? Some of them are selfless people ... many of them caring,raising their love ones and ended up being abandoned in their old age because they devoted their lives taking care of others.



If they have loads of free time...yes and no ( depends on the person's way of living)

I have been single then married, then single and now engaged to be married. While I won't speak for all married men but will say there are some like myself. Who when in trouble with the wife and she giving the business of how much trouble you are in, there are times many a times your mind says, ohhhhhhh I wish I was single......LOL Or as a Christian you may find yourself suddenly fully embracing the pre-trib doctrine and hoping it happens that very second in the wife's tongue lashing....LOL

Then of course there are those times when you hear those infamous words, we need to talk, and you shoot yourself the odds that you have a 50% chance after this talk that you may or may not be single.............LOL

Disclaimer: I hold to the pre-trib doctrine and none of us adherents were harmed in the making of this joke........LOL

Singles have their hands full. Grocery shopping,cleaning house,their job, cooking their own meals. In short,they are doing 100% of everything. Sometimes a 24 hour day isnt enough

Hmm? That directly contradicts my experience as a single guy.

Maybe some single people try too hard to find things to fill their time. For some people activities will expand to fill the time a person has. "Softball team? Sure, sign me up." "Volunteer at the library? Okay, if they need help."

Or sometimes it might be the kind of situation seolsearch talks about sometimes, where other people see a single person and assume he has all the time in the world, so they default to putting responsibilities on him just because he's single.

Or maybe I'm just lazy and I really should find more stuff to do.

i agree with the last part
I agree with the last part of your statement

Okay... Okay... Starting to get an idea of your personality...

It's probably for the best.

i'm married & i still do all that!!! yes, that's true!!!

I recently re-joined the 'married' crowd after being in the 'single' crowd for a decade or so. I don't have any particular feelings about singles, so for me the first question is moot. No, I don't think singles are selfish, though if a person is selfish, I would rather them be single than married. That said, Christian commitment within marriage does tend to cure people of selfishness.

I don't perceive that I have less time now that I'm married, though I do spend my time differently. I have a few projects that might take longer to complete because I don't work at them so often, but they will get done, and some projects have gotten done sooner because there are now two opinions about what takes priority.

I don't know if any of that adds to the conversation.