Asking God to kill me

I hate my life and wake up in pain almost everyday due to things that have been done to me. I honestly feel like God doesn’t like me and I wish my mom went through with aborting me when she was pregnant with me.

I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing from the things that people have done to you.

It sounds incredibly difficult to bear.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

We are praying that God will cast out the evil spirit that has taken over your life. We are praying that others will join us in this effort.

When I am at my lowest points, I find comfort in reading Psalms 23.

#ICAMETOSHARE

"There comes a time to be bold and stern, but with love, I assure you!
Clueless to your life issues, as your words always seem you have made up your
mind to continue with resentment and a negative attitude which may or may not be a
self-inflicted 'attention syndrome' due to a feeling of no self-worth.

'And seemingly troublesome disturbances must be confronted, rationally delt with,
accepted and move forward with a sound positive attitude.... otherwise, it would appear
one seems to relish and wallow in a state of self-inflicted pity.

'And when one cannot cope alone, professional assistance may be necessary, as it would
appear God is not on your agenda!
'I can only share as a friend, and no one is obligated to have a friend if they so choose to
go alone with undue misery, which is not mentally or emotionally healthy!


"I pray these words are heard and peace comes upon the intended one.
'Amen'

Dearest Gemmy,

God does love you! Never doubt that. The world is an angry place right now, I do not know the details of your life but I feel you need a redical change and need to focus on something else. There must be something you would really like to do that would satisfy you. Also you seem depressed, did you consult, I am not talking about medication but seeking professional help to talk to might alleviate these thoughts you have?

I am here almost every day if you need to chat.

Love and Blessing be upon you.

Gemmy, I said a prayer for you just now.

I can say I've been there. I hated my life. I was miserable. I asked God to just strike me down and let me die because I didn't see much of a point in life anymore.

Even though those feelings are so real, I've realized we're believing lies to think that way. God cares, yes. But He also has created us for more! It can actually be really selfish to live in that mindset.

Think of Joseph. I don't know what kind of pain you've been through, but I can imagine that being sold into slavery as an alternative to being killed by your own brothers, then being accused of evil by someone whom you've only ever been good to, had to be very painful and confusing! Did Joseph live his life in misery? We don't have all the details and surely he wrestled some. But I think we can know he never lost his trust in God by how his story turned out.

Are you fully trusting in Christ for salvation at this moment? That won't cure you of trials and instantly wipe away all your pain usually. But the Holy Spirit is the comforter and we don't have him without being born again.

Learn to trust God in all areas of life. Know that even though life seems so unfair at the moment, God is just and will work everything out for those who love Him. Even if we may have to wait till the resurrection to see the fruition of it all.

I am not experiencing what you are, but I've sometimes asked God for the same thing. I wake up each day with no real purpose (other than the general purpose all Christians have)... I am tired of the instability of my field, yet there is little else I am qualified to do or would be happy (or even mildly content) doing. Most other lines of work that I could get I hate. And, my last bonafide date was more than 12 years ago.

Unemployment... inability to impress almost any members of the opposite sex... body aging and impressing me less and less... I feel emasculated and purposeless. What's the point???

Unfortunately I have a survival instinct that will not permit me to pursue that course harder. And, also unfortunately I have nothing to offer you. I would suggest a Christian counselor of some kind, but that's the only idea I got, and unoriginal it is.

Then you need to do something about it. Get up and set goals and achieve them. This will build your self esteem. Dont sit around moping and waiting for GOD to do everything for you. Remember the old saying GOD helps those .....

You don’t know anything about me or what I’m going through. Who said I haven’t accomplished nor set goals? You’re another ignorant Christian that think they know something but you don’t know anything about so how can you assume this at all?

Which never appears in Scripture; in fact, the Lord came to help a world that due to sin was in no place to help itself whatsoever.

Also: we don't know what Gemmy has already done to try to solve this. That assumes things about her wrongfully; not everyone in bad situations are "just lazy"; you'd be surprised how much agencies designed to help and avenues of "assistance" can be truly unhelpful.

Gemmy, I'm so sorry that the pain and anguish you're going through has driven you to this point. From the grief and the hurt in your post, it must be excruciating for you and you just want it to be over with. But I don't think the Lord wants you to destroy yourself just to end it; I know how that must sound to you, but the Lord didn't make us to die.

I'm not going to claim "I know what you're going through", because each of us has our own levels where we cannot "take it" anymore, and to compare one to another is unfair. I also don't know if yours is spiritual, emotional or physical; you're right that no one here knows you well enough to make that judgment about you.

Meantime; I'm going back through your posts to see if I can find what you may have said already about this (I see you have 164). I don't want you to feel like you have to go over it again and again.

Yes... I am sitting around in front of my TV wiping my self-pitying tears away. Doing nothing... taking no proactive steps. Yep. You hit.

That was directed at me, not you.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth— Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the Lord. Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust, And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works Which You have done; And Your thoughts toward us Cannot be recounted to You in order; If I would declare and speak of them, They are more than can be numbered. Sacrifice and offering You did not desire; My ears You have opened. Burnt offering and sin offering You did not require. Then I said, “Behold, I come; In the scroll of the book it is written of me. I delight to do Your will, O my God, And Your law is within my heart.” I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness In the great assembly; Indeed, I do not restrain my lips, O Lord, You Yourself know. I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth From the great assembly. Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O Lord; Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me. For innumerable evils have surrounded me; My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up; They are more than the hairs of my head; Therefore my heart fails me. Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me; O Lord, make haste to help me! Let them be ashamed and brought to mutual confusion Who seek to destroy my life; Let them be driven backward and brought to dishonor Who wish me evil. Let them be confounded because of their shame, Who say to me, “Aha, aha!” Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; Let such as love Your salvation say continually, “The Lord be magnified!” But I am poor and needy; Yet the Lord thinks upon me. You are my help and my deliverer; Do not delay, O my God.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭40‬:‭1‬-‭17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.40.1-17.NKJV

Philippians 4:6-7

Praying. How's everything going now? There is still hope for you, even when you feel like ending it.

Gemmy,

I took time to read through your prayer requests; while I do have my own health issues, I cannot pretend to know what you're going through with your health, and I certainly don't know what you're going through with your other issues. But I do care what happens to you, and while I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, I also don't want to see you end yourself like this.

Father in Heaven, we come before Your Throne of Grace in Jesus' name; Abba, we lift our sister Gemmy up to you in humble prayer, and ask that You heal her broken, lonely heart. Please bring people alongside her in real life who can help her with her burdens and not add more stress to her or cause her further pain. Please provide for her on both a physical level as well as a spiritual level, and put here in a place of safety and provision so her and her daughter can thrive and not be crushed by this world. Please hold her close to You; hide her and her daughter in the folds of Your robes, and engrave their names on the palm of Your hands. Please be their shield, their high tower, their fortress and banner.

All of this we ask in Your only begotten Son Jesus Christ's Holy, precious name.

Amen.

Gemmy, I will continue praying for you and try to see if there's any way that we can do more than simply pray for you. Prayer should be the start of trying to help someone, not the end.

-Sojo414