The subject of Divorced Christians

let’s face it we do exist - Divorced Christians!
My story - I became a Christian in 2017 (6yrs in November 2023) and hoping to meet a new partner, it dawned on me very quickly that divorced Christians are a group on the outside fringes of the church. Almost every event you attend you are the third leg as most people are coupled off unless you are a child, teen, elderly etc. My sense of being divorce and the looming question of whether it is acceptable for me to think I could marry again has become even more poinient as my children are all adults making their own lives and I find myself on my own and feeling that no Christian would want me, why? Because i
am we divorced! Any divorced singles on this forum? What’s your view on the topic of divorce?

The Bible is pretty straightforward about divorce and under what conditions a person should or should not remarry.

There are many previously-divorced folks here. By the way, divorce is an event, not a status.

I am not divorced but about half the people I know in church seem to have been divorced or separated, its actually very common. Some churches are refuges for divorcees and for the elderly especially...widows.

I dont go to that many church events, but depending on what they were I never found that they were always couple things. Ive observed that couples who are totally dependent on each other always go together because only one of them drives the car!

I would say that almost ALL of the troubled children that would come to see me in the library had families that had split up. Waifs and strays. God cares for the fatherless and orphaned especially.

My thoughts are that it is very traumatic for children, even adult children when their parents divorce. They often dont want to leave their parent(s) alone, I know one girl offered her divorced mother a kitten when she left home, cos she felt guilty she was leaving her. She couldnt give her mother her dad.

If you read my post you will see that indicates I was divorced before I became a Christian.

Welcome!

I had not thought under what circumstances christians remarry but a lot of women who marry divorced men DO have to consider their spouses children even if they are near adults and decide whether or not to love them as their own or ignore them....step-children are not often talked about on CC Ive noticed.

My observation is that the christian women I know whove married divorcees often just have a cordial relationship with their step children or they are at boarding school or live away from them.
But a lot of children are not consulted at all about their parents divorce and subsequent post divorce boy friends and girlfriends, they just have to accept whoever their parent decides to go with.

Men seem to find it easier to remarry than women, whereas women tend to stay unmarried (and free...because they value their freedom) probably because they dont want more children having already had to care for the ones they had and that often their father had abandoned. I suppose it depends on who is the one that has been abandoned though its not ALWAYS the wife.

For a christian couple to divorce is terrible but its not unheard of that one spouse is christian and the other is actually not which seems to be the case, but they had somehow gotten married anyway because both of them had gone to church. ?! Thats why theres a warning about being unequally yoked.

1Co 7:27
Art thou bound unto a wife (Married)? seek not to be loosed (Divorced). Art thou loosed (Divorced) from a wife? seek not a wife.
1Co 7:28
But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

Paul doesn't seem to have a great problem with it. He'd rather everybody was "single" for the sake of the ministry.

'trouble in the flesh' ...Paul's euphemism for children? lol

One can make a case from Scripture both that you are free to remarry and that you are still bound to your ex-spouse. You have to sort it out for yourself by doing the homework. The clearest situation is where you were faithful but your ex cheated.

Sorry that wasn't clear to me. My thoughts are, at the moment you were reborn in Christ, you're starting over with a new life. So in my opinion, regardless of the details of your divorce when you were a dead man walking you'd be free to remarry.

But churches don't turn away the tithe from divorced folk cause they got a few verses to spring on you about that. You may be going to hell but pay up before you get there! .. 😁

Just kidding!

The thing I would question is, is divorce a sin? If so, then yes sin is forgiven and the old man is passed away. But if the act of remarriage is the sin (adultery in some cases according to Jesus) then you shouldn't do it. Yes God hates divorce, but I see nowhere in scripture where it's a sin.

isnt everything a status in this world anymore? just crazy.

Never married, so never divorced. I do not think my input would be suitable lol but anyway, i had dodged the bullet a time or two as they say.

Yeah... but I find that it's best to operate from a position of God's truth rather than the world's.

You are right. Not everyone focuses on that much anymore.

In the case of someone who wasn't a Believer, I believe they start with a clean slate once they become Believers. In the case of Believers, the Bible instructs us on what is okay and not okay. Where one gets into trouble with sin is when a Believer divorces for other than adultery and then remarries. Of course, if you divorce for other than adultery you're breaking covenant made before God. The difference with adultery is the act of adultery breaks the covenant, so the innocent party, if there is one, is free to remarry.

I have to respectfully disagree here... I don't see where Jesus specified whether He's referring to believers or unbelievers in Matthew 19:9. It actually says whosoever.

Matthew 19:9 “ And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. ”