can you guys post something funny please?

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I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,433
821
113
I used to say I am rotting on social assistance in a metaphorical sence,
Now I am rotting on social assistance literally.
 
Mar 16, 2023
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My wife, @Elshya, who only recently became a follower of Christ, due to some medication she takes, is sometimes constipated.
Trying to be a good husband, I read the bible to her, before we go to sleep, and if she happens to fall asleep before I am done reading, then we just start the next evening at the last place she remembers.

We have made it through the first 5 books, and landed in the book of Joshua,
While she was having real trouble with the earlier mentioned constipation that day, I read

Joshua 3:1 "Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over. "

Immediately she shoots upright and I hear next to me, are you kidding me?, you must have mispronounced that.
Spell it.

So I did, and she slumped back down, looked up at the ceiling and said, is God mocking me?

We had a good laugh.
 
Feb 12, 2023
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Ireland
My wife, @Elshya, who only recently became a follower of Christ, due to some medication she takes, is sometimes constipated.
Trying to be a good husband, I read the bible to her, before we go to sleep, and if she happens to fall asleep before I am done reading, then we just start the next evening at the last place she remembers.

We have made it through the first 5 books, and landed in the book of Joshua,
While she was having real trouble with the earlier mentioned constipation that day, I read

Joshua 3:1 "Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over. "

Immediately she shoots upright and I hear next to me, are you kidding me?, you must have mispronounced that.
Spell it.

So I did, and she slumped back down, looked up at the ceiling and said, is God mocking me?

We had a good laugh.
I still say it's not pronounced like that. There is no way anyone visiting Israel from an English speaking country could keep a straight face! But the timing. LOL!! I couldn't believe it!!
 

BillG

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2017
9,022
4,441
113
My wife, @Elshya, who only recently became a follower of Christ, due to some medication she takes, is sometimes constipated.
Trying to be a good husband, I read the bible to her, before we go to sleep, and if she happens to fall asleep before I am done reading, then we just start the next evening at the last place she remembers.

We have made it through the first 5 books, and landed in the book of Joshua,
While she was having real trouble with the earlier mentioned constipation that day, I read

Joshua 3:1 "Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over. "

Immediately she shoots upright and I hear next to me, are you kidding me?, you must have mispronounced that.
Spell it.

So I did, and she slumped back down, looked up at the ceiling and said, is God mocking me?

We had a good laugh.
Next time you post something funny can you please ensure I’m not drinking my coffee.
gotta clean the floor now.
 
Mar 16, 2023
6
3
3
Next time you post something funny can you please ensure I’m not drinking my coffee.
gotta clean the floor now.
I am so sorry, but, that made me laugh out loud.
Not to rub it in but, fortunately I had just finished mine.

And your tag line, very precious.

here, have a c(_)p ;)
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,433
821
113
My wife, @Elshya, who only recently became a follower of Christ, due to some medication she takes, is sometimes constipated.
Trying to be a good husband, I read the bible to her, before we go to sleep, and if she happens to fall asleep before I am done reading, then we just start the next evening at the last place she remembers.

We have made it through the first 5 books, and landed in the book of Joshua,
While she was having real trouble with the earlier mentioned constipation that day, I read

Joshua 3:1 "Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over. "

Immediately she shoots upright and I hear next to me, are you kidding me?, you must have mispronounced that.
Spell it.

So I did, and she slumped back down, looked up at the ceiling and said, is God mocking me?

We had a good laugh.
That is funny
 
Mar 16, 2023
6
3
3
:oops: My apologies if I'm off on this:
Are you quoting this to @Elshya
OR
are you saying she is your wife?
See, if you were in different locations I'd go with the first.
BUT, since you are both in Ireland one cannot help but wonder :unsure:
Well, @Godsgirl1983 ... since i've lived abroad in a few places, (I'm from Holland originally) and @Elshya started out as an online (gaming) friend. You make a good point. :unsure:

We married and even married have spent some years apart in different countries (which was very tough), so we have gone through some funny, weird, tough and miracle-ious (pardon my non native spelling) times.

It brought me a lot closer to God, and gave me a little bit of an inkling on how He feels, waiting for us up there working on ''our place''. Still can't wait to see what He made for us there, I mean, already impressed by what He did in 6 days, cant wait to see what He did in 2,000 years. ;)

My English has gotten better too, ... even if I sometimes apply dutch word-order to it at times.

And since this is in the funny thread i'll end with something Elshya and I discovered early on.

English who is wie in Dutch and wie is how in German. o_O
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
59,946
29,307
113
I'm from Holland originally)

Aldebaran (Alpha Tauri) is the brightest star in the constellation Taurus and one of the brightest stars
in the nighttime sky. The name Aldebaran is derived from Arabic signifying "the follower," as it appears
to follow the Pleiades, Seven Sisters in the sky. Because of its location in the head of Taurus, it's often
called the Bull's Eye. If one follows the three stars of Orion's belt from left to right (in the Northern
Hemisphere) or right to left (in the Southern), the first bright star found by continuing that line is Aldebaran.


:D
 
Mar 16, 2023
6
3
3

Aldebaran (Alpha Tauri) is the brightest star in the constellation Taurus and one of the brightest stars
in the nighttime sky. The name Aldebaran is derived from Arabic signifying "the follower," as it appears
to follow the Pleiades, Seven Sisters in the sky. Because of its location in the head of Taurus, it's often
called the Bull's Eye. If one follows the three stars of Orion's belt from left to right (in the Northern
Hemisphere) or right to left (in the Southern), the first bright star found by continuing that line is Aldebaran.


:D
Thank you for explaining. But yes, that is why I chose that name. It is not only referred to as Follower but sometimes also as Torch bearer or Messenger.
I am a ''Follower'' of the Aleph Tau (Hebrew equivalent of Alpha & Omega).
Well back when I chose it, my wife @Elshya (who was born on a date usually associated with Taurus) and I were parted, and the Eye of Taurus (Aldebaran) was one of the stars we both could see from different sides of the Ocean.

Funny how when someone is far away, we can take comfort from seeing something that is even further.
 

BillG

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2017
9,022
4,441
113
My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night.
He was caught in a trap.
 

Godsgirl1983

Well-known member
Feb 2, 2023
1,712
1,043
113
My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night.
He was caught in a trap.
Because we very recently lost our beloved pet I want to respond with :(
but seeing as how this is a funny thread I am left going



(I know there is a joke in there somewhere/somehow- probably somehow related to Elvis and/or his music)