Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

Every woman who gets married needs to feel like a princess for a day.
I know that they are expensive but there are ways to economize....like friends and family to make appetizers....use flower gardens for the flowers....and keep the dress to a minimal amount.

shes allergic to flowers and doesnt care for them
I dont think shes too fussed about being a princess. We have school balls for that, usually done when you are 15-17.
Shes not a believer so, its unlikely she will have a church wedding.

Congratulations on your cousin's engagement!

haha I had nothing to do with it...! But thanks anyway...I think.

Whatever she decides to do, to be coupled up, will be ok because the guy she is marrying seems like a good man. eg. not someone she just met online. lol
He's a neighbour and they've known each other for a couple of years now.

As long as the father of the bride gives her away and consents to it (one thing from the way we do weddings which has some kind of connection to the teaching of the Bible on the topic) I suppose one could 'elope.' That's not really eloping.

When we eat cantaloupe I remember my daughters that they've got to remember a lesson from the melon--- they can't elope. (Maybe that should go in the Dad jokes thread.)

If mom and grandma seem to show no interest in a wedding, that doesn't mean they won't actually miss it or have their feelings hurt.

The backyard party to save money sounds like a great idea. It could be fun, too. A couple could also do something fun. It could have a theme, like if her great grandma were Amish, as people to dress Amish if they want to, and serve sausage and sour kraut... or serve a cheaper ethnic food. Of have a middle eastern night and ask guests that want to to dress middle eastern, buy a sheep or goat, and roast it over the yard. People might not think it is cheap, just unique. Doritos and pizza for a football party, or get some Doritos and some Great Value and mix them in a bowl. If they are on a tight budget, do little Caesars.... but it's a wedding, so spring for Dominos.

One of my buddies from church and high school got married in the late 1990's. They wed and had the party in a church fellowship hall. His family made and brought food, and other people brought food as for a covered dish dinner. IMO, this would be a good thing for churches to do, arrange to treat weddings like a covered dish dinner. Invite the whole congregation or much of it plus family and friends to come. If not everyone shows or there is extra space in the building. Have a practice of helping provide food. This would be a way of encouraging and supporting weddings.

her dad gas a restraining order on her so shes already been given away..

A lot of dads seem to beat up on their daughters so they literally run away. They dont have to be given away.

Grandma and grandpa are dead and I think on her dads side they have also passed away.

I think these days many children are orphans or children of divorce so they are not getting a cent from their parents.

My wife and I married for literally peanuts. Zero pomp zero regalia zero reception zero anything. Wedding was attended by 4 other people and a lawyer.

So much for that excuse.

A friends at quakers said there was a wedding at their service...nobody I knew..but it was after their worship meeting and everyone invited. They dont make a huge fuss at their weddings. Just have people there. You dont even have to dress up.

I think I kind of like the dont have to dress up bit. Marry someone as they are. God provides the clothing.

Rather than have guests pay. Though in some cultures it seems a done thing now to have to pay your own way, over and above a wedding gift. I just find that a bit silly. If you hosting a party, you shouldnt charge people for food. You can be PART of a wedding party or cater, but you dont charge the guests.

we already gave them things they need to set up house. Bed, chairs, kitchen appliances, washing machine etc.

Those expensive big ticket items that you kind of need all at once if you going to live anywhere.

When anyone I knew got married and I was invited I always bought a gift even if it was just flowers, vouchers, koha (donation) or valentiney things. Of the couple asked for money to go toward their honeymoon, or a washing machine, people would chip in. Rather than have people gift them ten toasters or dinnerware they never used.

Those are the things that can be expensive. If a couple are just having a party though and say no just bring yourself then theres less pressure to dress up, bring a gift, or travel far and wide for it. Weddings can be a big deal for guests too and people dont realise its a pressure to bring someone, find transport and or accomodations, and wear your best clothes.

'Beautiful' people dont really have that problem, they are used to parties and go to them all the time. I suppose its like how high end you want to be.

I read a book about Meghan and Harrys wedding and it was a sweet romantic story in the coffee table book, with photgraphs but then it was kind of ruined by all the wedding adverts for the wedding industry at the end. Like we got this tableware from so and so, or this jewellery was from this maker etc.

Same here. Spent all of $300 on preacher, dress, and some flowers. Neither of us cared to have a big party so we didn't even have a cake. No regrets! We preferred to concentrate more on the marriage aspect than the wedding/party.

my own dad never cared if I got married or not, although he sometimes gets annoyed that im still around lol

I was taking to one of my church friends about her wedding, as he had photos up on her walls etc. She said she didnt want her dad to give her away as she didnt see the point of it. She didnt really like her dad. She felt he was abusive.

My mums dad (my granddad, who I never met) was not at her wedding. She was 'given away' by proxy. She met my dad in nz and got married and never went back to her homeland.

My dad never met her dad.

The friend that eventually got married (subject of this thread) dad had died by the time of the wedding, wouldnt thave been able to give her away because he had dementia and wouldnt have even recognised his own daughter.

My SiL had my BiL law buy her custom made dress. $10 thousand.

I bought my wedding dress out of a catalog and it was less than $250. And was gorgeous

Outdoor wedding. All in all it cost $350.

I can't see spending what would otherwise buy a car on a ceremony that lasts less than an hour.

To each their own.

My wife and her grandmother made her dress. It cost under $25. Wedding and reception were at her aunt's house. Food probably cost under $100. I paid the preacher $25. We spent our honeymoon in a family cottage on the beach. We spent less than $100 on food.

It might sound cheap, but it stuck. We've been married over 60 years.

Did you wear your wedding dress again?

I had a ball gown that I wore about three times but now I dont know where it is.

I think married women should have a bridal dress party where they get dress up in their gowns (or bridesmaids or flower girl dresses) as at least then they get a chance to wear them again!

Otherwise Im not sure what they do with them after the wedding.

back then it would have been expensive cos of inflation lol

Might be an interesting sight. Most young bride's wedding party wardrobes shrink after a few years of marriage.

10K for a dress that's only worn once??

Nope - getting "Married" is what you do in private by joining flesh.

WEDDINGS can cost a FORTUNE if you're so inclined.

But you can get it done for very little by a Judge, or a JP. And there are considerable TAX BENEFITS to the legal process of a "marriage contract".

My wedding (in a church we were members of) cost about $300 - mostly for food, and we'll celebrate 59 years in August.