You know, I'm an introvert myself. I was schooled in an all boys school and up to college it was all boys. Then in my masters course, I met women and had to socially interact with them for the first time in my life. I used to come home and have panic attacks. And it was a time when I had lost both my father and grandpa a couple of years earlier in the middle of my bachelor's degree course.My father passed a month after my grandfather did. I'll spare you the details of that as that's still hard for me to think about.
So, I was hurt. My friends were mostly elite kids with an elitist mentality. Rich, spoiled, weed smokers and they're bullies, mind you.
The first few years I knew them, I hardly used to open my mouth to talk to them in a group. But they were nice in some ways, else I wouldn't have stayed with them.
As I was into keeping fit, I didn't take after them with smoking, alcohol or weed. It really wasn't for me. I just enjoyed the company and understood human companionship being with my friends. But it came at the cost of my self respect at times. That's why my friendship with many of them didn't last.
I digress. I was talking about women in college. I've lost most of my hair now. But back then, I was a good looking guy with a severe inferiority complex. So, the whole of my 2 years in college with my masters program, I never spoke to any woman. Women used to pass me by talking about me and laughing at me. And there were 1 or 2 of them who did try to get my attention, but I seriously messed it up. I was emotionally bankrupt and in a very bad place in my life. I had problems home with hostile neighbours who were religious fanatics and they hated us for being Christians. I'm still living with them. God humbled them right in front of our eyes. That's our God, you know. He knows. He sees. He hears. We think we are the ones who control everything. No. God does.
Moving forward, I've met many women. I roll with them in bjj class. But still the introvert. I don't open up to women. And people in general. You meet me on person, we'll be having this conversation, 1 in maybe a million times.
I'm saying all this just to let you know that whatever it is you're going through, you'll survive. As long as you trust Jesus with your life, you'll be okay.
I'm still introverted. I can talk to people. But I'm not fazed in the least by their judgements. I don't do what people want me to do. Definitely not a people pleaser. But I believe in being good to people. To show love, forgiveness and practice my Christian values. Not the most perfect person. All I know is I trust Jesus with my life. Whoever comes and goes, He'll take care of me and will not give up on me. He is there with me in my life. In silence. Guiding me. I'm protected. I'm loved by God. This is my encouragment to you.
So, I was hurt. My friends were mostly elite kids with an elitist mentality. Rich, spoiled, weed smokers and they're bullies, mind you.
The first few years I knew them, I hardly used to open my mouth to talk to them in a group. But they were nice in some ways, else I wouldn't have stayed with them.
As I was into keeping fit, I didn't take after them with smoking, alcohol or weed. It really wasn't for me. I just enjoyed the company and understood human companionship being with my friends. But it came at the cost of my self respect at times. That's why my friendship with many of them didn't last.
I digress. I was talking about women in college. I've lost most of my hair now. But back then, I was a good looking guy with a severe inferiority complex. So, the whole of my 2 years in college with my masters program, I never spoke to any woman. Women used to pass me by talking about me and laughing at me. And there were 1 or 2 of them who did try to get my attention, but I seriously messed it up. I was emotionally bankrupt and in a very bad place in my life. I had problems home with hostile neighbours who were religious fanatics and they hated us for being Christians. I'm still living with them. God humbled them right in front of our eyes. That's our God, you know. He knows. He sees. He hears. We think we are the ones who control everything. No. God does.
Moving forward, I've met many women. I roll with them in bjj class. But still the introvert. I don't open up to women. And people in general. You meet me on person, we'll be having this conversation, 1 in maybe a million times.
I'm saying all this just to let you know that whatever it is you're going through, you'll survive. As long as you trust Jesus with your life, you'll be okay.
I'm still introverted. I can talk to people. But I'm not fazed in the least by their judgements. I don't do what people want me to do. Definitely not a people pleaser. But I believe in being good to people. To show love, forgiveness and practice my Christian values. Not the most perfect person. All I know is I trust Jesus with my life. Whoever comes and goes, He'll take care of me and will not give up on me. He is there with me in my life. In silence. Guiding me. I'm protected. I'm loved by God. This is my encouragment to you.
I know when I am in really large groups I can feel isolated. It is a really lonely feeling.