Despair Over the Future

I wish I could believe you; I know you have good intentions. But I've waited so long, I just don't believe anymore in finding "the one". I think this is something I knew deep, deep down inside of me from childhood - that I was meant to be alone. I don't like it, I don't like having that special person to talk to. The physical side of it can go rot in a ditch somewhere, I don't care about it. People need the emotional and spiritual connection with each other. The 'person' I am closest to these days is my cat. He's very loving and kind, but it's not like I can have a two way coversation with him. It's kind of like talking to God. I talk and talk and talk, I do all the talking. At least with my cat, I can hug him and hold him, and that helps a little bit. It means a lot that he thinks I'm important enough to greet when I get home, and that he's by my side every night when I sleep. I don't need some trashy girl trying to get me to go to bed with her, I made the mistake of dating a non-believer before, and all that she wanted was to get me to do things that went against my values, things God did not want me to do.

Whatever happens, you can talk to me if you need a friend. I'm a Christian girl, but I will neither judge you nor demand things of you that go against your beliefs.

I have a kitty friend too.

Thank you. I tried to send you a chat message, but it says I need to pay first. I tried paying, but it didn't go through.

Thank you. I tried to send you a chat message, but it says I need to pay first. I tried paying, but it didn't go through.

I'm 29 years old. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of three. I'm the youngest of three. Both my siblings are married with kids. I still live with my mom and dad, who aren't getting any younger. After high school I attended a community college. But I failed math at least three times in a row (I'm an artsy person, not a numbers person). And besides, my interests won't earn me a living anyway.

I tried again and again to meet new people. I tried a different church. I tried hanging out with other people on the spectrum. But I didn't fit in with either. And any friendships I made quickly fizzled out because people have lives to live. In any event, for most of my life I've had a sense of not belonging. I didn't get saved till I was 17, partly because, even though I went to church, I had no idea youth group was even a thing. I've never dated either. Simply put, no one ever asked me out.

I worked three jobs. First at a diner, then at an animal hospital, then at a human hospital. The last ended almost 6 years ago, and it was the longest job I held, for a total of six months. Since then, I more or less retreated from the outside world. I pay monthly bills to my parents every month. And in the past year I've made a friend whom I have a lot in common with. But she lives on the other side of the country, so we communicate only online.

For over 5 years I've pretty much retreated into the fantasy worlds I create when I write. I still go out, but only with family, and even then only sparingly 'cause everyone has stuff to do. I haven't set foot in a church since then other than Easter and Christmas, not because I'm no longer a Christian, but because churches in general just don't have much to offer a lady my age who isn't married and doesn't have kids.

Now I'm only a year away from 30, and I've only recently realized how woefully I'm prepared for what lies beyond. Time moves fast, and I know I'm gonna run out of ways to cope. I've had a sense of this since I was in elementary school (I've been a deep thinker for most of my life), but now it's more pronounced than ever.

Life's gonna change whether or not I want it to. So why bother trying to take control? However I splice it, in the end, I will be utterly alone.

Technically we do not know the child's future. Is it mercy to eliminate a potential person like a St Teresa? Or the one who invented penicillin?

God is on the side of leading you to His will for your life. It may first be uncomfortable but you find great joy when you walk in step with the Spirit.

Honestly, that'd make me laugh if it weren't so hypocritical. Christians everywhere say, "this world is not our home," and stuff like the environment and poverty and healthcare can all go to the dogs. And yet they get all up in arms about abortion. I'm not saying I support abortion, I'm simply asking why should arguments such as yours stand in the way of it if this world is eventually gonna burn anyway?

I envy people like you. Consider yourself fortunate that you have what most Christians strive for but not all achieve: certainty, contentment, hope. Meanwhile, for people like me, relating to God is as natural as relating to concrete, no matter how often we go to church, pray, or read our bibles. I don't look forward to whatever life lies beyond this, because I can't look forward to what I can't imagine. This life is all I know, and I resent it when people tell me the next life is supposed to be "better" somehow. If you can't tell me specifically what it's gonna be like, why should I believe you?

Sorry to hurt your feelings but there are millions of people like yourself and much worse in this world today. You definitely are selfish and thinking only about yourself and your inability to adapt and be successful (worldly-defined) in this world.
Your view of Christianity proves to me that what you say is not true. You say that you are a deep thinker. If you were then you would know that there is merit to goodness and righteousness rather than evil and wickedness.

I do not know you but maybe you are irredeemable, that is a corrupt one.

It is true that in these last days those who are unjust will enter a very dark place where they will ask the rocks to come down and destroy them. But that will not happen, no, the unjust will end up reaping what they have sowed.

All that I have said may not apply to you but does apply to millions of people if not billions. So in this world you do have a lot of company and you surely can find them if you will only open your eyes.

It's responses like this that will push a person away from faith in God.

Honestly, that'd make me laugh if it weren't so hypocritical. Christians everywhere say, "this world is not our home," and stuff like the environment and poverty and healthcare can all go to the dogs. And yet they get all up in arms about abortion. I'm not saying I support abortion, I'm simply asking why should arguments such as yours stand in the way of it if this world is eventually gonna burn anyway?

It's responses like this that will push a person away from faith in God.

Interesting thought.

On one hand it’s our duty to act as a preservative against moral and spiritual decay. On the other hand, knowing the inevitable end, would it accelerate the end if Christians simply stepped out of the way and allowed the world to sail unabated into perdition? Would it be wrong to do so?

Friend, I will pray for you. Hoping for Heaven and working for Eternal Rewards are an important part of Faith. "Faith is the assurance of things not seen, the conviction of things hoped for" as Hebrews 11:1 informs us. So, have faith in Heaven which you do not see but hope for. Faith is not only about the past, what Christ did for us, but the future also, e.g. the Crown of Life He promises to give us in Heaven, if only we are faithful unto death: "Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the Crown of Life". (Rev 2:10)

Trust in God to make all things right for you. Never fall into despair or hopelessness. God is Good and will help us through all our trials. God never said there would be no cross in our life - He said otherwise. He Himself came down from Heaven and went to the Cross out of Infinite Love for us, but He also asked us to take up our own Cross and follow Him to be His True Disciples: "27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple." (Luk 14:27)

A relationship with God is highly important and nourished through daily prayer, frequent Holy Communion, and reading the Word. God Bless.

Luke 6
46“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?

1 Cor 10:

"16 The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ? 17 For we, though many, are one bread and one body; for we all partake of that one bread."