I'd recommend finding someone strong in the faith for several reasons, but especially the spiritual challenges. It sounds like you may benefit from some deliverance. Also, they can help you out financially from time to time as we all can - was there any way you'd be able to accept donations like with
givesendgo?
I would also recommend understanding the real Gospel and to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.
Matthew 6:31-33
Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles strive after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But
seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.
What is an example of seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness?
Repentance
Acts 2:38
Peter replied, “
Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Real repentance
Acts 8:18-23
When Simon saw that the Spirit was given through the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money. “Give me this power as well,” he said, “so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”
But Peter replied, “
May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have
no part or share in our ministry,
because your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of your wickedness, and pray to the Lord. Perhaps He will forgive you for the intent of your heart. For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and captive to iniquity.”
And baptism with that repentance
Acts 2:38
Peter replied, “Repent
and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 1:7
What then shall we say? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may increase? Certainly not! How can we who died to sin live in it any longer? Or aren’t you aware that all of us who were
baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?
We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may walk in newness of life.
For if we have been united with Him like this in His death, we will certainly also be united with Him in His resurrection. We know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.
For anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
Believing in Jesus and confessing that He is Lord
Romans 10:8-10
But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: that if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with your heart you believe and are justified, and with your mouth you confess and are saved.
Seeking Glory, Honor, and Immortality by doing good
Romans 2:7
To those who by perseverance in doing good seek glory, honor, and immortality, He will give eternal life.
If you'd like someone to help you out with this and pray for deliverance, you can search through
this website to see what they are about and search on
their map to find someone on the same page as them concerning the scriptures near you to pray for you and, if you'd like, help you with being born of water and born of the Spirit if you have not been.
God bless.