Should women pursue men?

Let me tell you christian women dont make ideal wives. We dont really want to be wives actually. What kind of life do we have as wives? Being a wife can be like being a slave.

Just why would we want to be captive when we can be free? . Silly question.

I remeber going to a funeral of one of the church ladies and her athiest husband was actually quite angry that his wife had turned christian on him.

I love being a wife.

Good for you melita, are you a mother as well?

If youve only got ONE husband to look after I supoose thats ok. But will you still say that after youve had ten children.

Although I have heard that Kate from Uganda had something like 50 children.

Katie's Kisses. And she want even married.

Ok the book was Kisses from Katie and she was 23 and adopted 13 daughters BEFORE she was married.

The daughters didnt really want her to leave them and get married.

Well I'll take a shot at giving this a serious answer. And the short answer is that the old ways were designed for the old world that no longer exists. Yes it's a great idea to have both parents involved in helping discern whether an interest can blossom into a healthy marriage, but a lot of people have parents that wouldn't recognize a healthy marriage if it smacked them in the face. And a good number more live several towns away and aren't a daily part of their children's lives.
Unfortunately I think part of the challenge is that we have a model of dating that was designed to work within a community where people already knew each other, and we're trying to make it work in a society where we don't. We don't have the built in protection and accountability of a solid community now when we date and most of us are too well aware that for all practical purposes till death do us part has become well at least till something better comes along

We have a newborn. She will be a week old tomorrow ❤️ and because our marriage’s foundation is the Lord, and my husband loves me as Christ loves the church, I love being his wife.

Moral integrety, commitment, forgiveness, honour, love, obedience....
Marriage is like a car all the things required to make it work have to be there, it only takes one problem to make it stop working.

Curious, why are you in the singles forum exactly?

Because the world preaches once you learn you cant go back to believing what you used to believe.

But Jesus said to people, go and sin no more. The doctrine of forgiveness and repentance through Jesus is a key one to free people.

So when the world is into loose dating and immoral sexuality, why cant Christians go back to traditional convictions like a man asking a girls father permission to court her? Why cant we decided to live a life purity, so young women dont end up as single mothers after sleeping with the wrong man with ungodly intentions.

Why cant we stand up more and say you have the right to your beliefs and convictions as much as we do even if we dont agree with you.

Why do Chriatians feel they have to comprimise to be like the world? When the way of Christ leads to salvation, to peace and harmony.

Maybe their would be revival in church if everyone embrased the traditional values that made Christianty great in the first place. Just because a liberal attitude is an attractive one does not make it the right one.

Can't disagree with a word.

we ladies have always known how to let a guy knw we are interested

Good question! When I joined CC, I was single. Got married in 2017 and still post in the singles forum since I developed friendships here. I don’t post as often now a days.

P.S. there are a few people who are married and post in the singles. ☺️

My guess would be that she was single when she came here and has friends from here that are single.

I take it you aren't one of the refugees from the 90's purity culture era then. The church tried that at least in the externals and a very wise article I read said that for the most part that just put all the pressure of an engagement on asking someone out for a date. If you shouldn't date with marital intentions, then that "is this the person I should / am going to marry?" idea is a focus from the first date.

Going back to traditional ways.... well men and women didn't interact much socially except for the purposes of dating and marriage. So the only way to begin getting to know each other was to go on dates and no one thought twice about going on a date with one person Friday night and a different person Saturday night and then two different people the next weekend. Until you found someone you thought you might want to be with and started "going steady" . And of course, when you got married you stayed married no matter how good or bad your situation was because to get divorced made you look bad in the eyes of everyone (how big of a motivator is that to put in the effort to make the marriage work?) .

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for seeking God's wisdom in how to conduct our lives and all our relationships. And I'm all for living moral upright lives. I'm just not sure that equating what people did 60 or 70 years or more ago with God's wisdom is a correct stance.


Because she came to CC as a single and by the time she got married we liked her too much to kick her out just for getting married. We do have a few around the forum like that .

We don't have the heart to kick her out.

Lanolin, why do you feel this way?


I have 3 sisters who are wives and mothers. This is what they love.
Are there bad days? Of course! But in the end there is much more reward and gratification than the "bad" in that.

They do not feel like slaves and would choose being a wife and mother over a job or other career, hands down.

I know many more women that feel the same way.

True... And, you seem quite happy in your married state, and remind the singles here just how happy you are.

I suppose this kind of thing will happen from time to time, but I wish it wouldn't. It's not good for the rich person to remind the poor person how good their wealth is.

Speak for yourself lol Im a Christian lady and IF its the right person I think being married can be wonderful. I've seen some very happily married Christian couples.

Shes here to be an example to us singles that we can have something to look forward to in marriage instead of acting like its a prison