Will you consider to adopt a baby?

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MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
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725
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#21
I'm not likely to have such a situation in my family as a single and since I find taking care of a dog to cramp my style a bit and with a dog there's no consequences for leaving your 7 year old home alone for hours at a time. So I can't see myself adopting a kid as a single, and don't know of anyone who would be likely to leave me a kid that would change my mind.
I think you can still do errands and have alone time when the kid is at school. Doing stuff during the evenings/ weekends is not really an option unless you find a reliable sitter or friend/relative. On cramping your style, marriage, kids, pets, etc do take away aome freedom.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#22
The world can only barely stand one of me. Two of me is not something to be contemplated.
Maybe it would grow up in rebellion of you and be your opposite?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#23
cramping your style...arent babies a hot fashion accessory anymore?

Dont you know that theres now a big market for babies fashions. I was at the mall the other day and theres now exclusive shops for babies with toys costing up to $90 for one of those russian dolls...

They had crib beds in metallic chrome colours and you can get all babies toys in matching shades, and decorate the nursery of your dreams.
 

stilllearning

Well-known member
Oct 4, 2021
577
294
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#24
Me personally if I am in the capacity of single. Oh heck no I would not. Reason being is when my ex left I was a single father of three and as Dirty Harry said, a man has to know his limitations. For me I was just not that good at juggling the work life and the home life of raising by myself.

As my kids are older now and no longer have to raise them I did tell them as they went out into the world hey don't bother doing anything for the government or think about going to college or anything that requires a vax record. I told them I was unable to get of from work that day so they may be missing their polio, tetanus, and other shots that are required................LOL
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#25
A lot of children raise themselves now their parents cant do anything to care for them or are too stretched. If they are lucky enough to have an older sibling who make look afte them but ther emight only be a few years older than themselves.

some pyshcologists call this 'parentified behaviour' as if its pathological. But its not its just the reality they find themselves in. Many children live in poverty. Its not always the parents fault its the way society or economy is set up. When the cost of housing and livng is more than your wages you always going to fall short.
 
Oct 21, 2022
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#26
You are a single…have you consider adopting a child? If so what made you consider or do it if ever you adopted…
when I posted and asked this question it’s because am personally contemplating to adopt a child this has been my heart since last year and this year I told my parents of this plan thankfully they are supportive

my heart beat for this is I would like this child/youth to feel loved and accepted. Because he/she is choosen away from feeling rejected, unwanted, abandoned, alone, unloved, etc
But am still praying and waiting for the right timing of God🙏🤍
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,404
13,747
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#27
My single-female neighbour adopted two girls - sisters, and seems (from the outside) to be doing a fine job of raising them. I do agree that it's better for a child to have at least one parent who loves them than to live in "the system". It's not for everyone though. Some singles would not make good parents, for the same reasons that they would not make good spouses. ;)
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,237
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#28
when I posted and asked this question it’s because am personally contemplating to adopt a child this has been my heart since last year and this year I told my parents of this plan thankfully they are supportive

my heart beat for this is I would like this child/youth to feel loved and accepted. Because he/she is choosen away from feeling rejected, unwanted, abandoned, alone, unloved, etc
But am still praying and waiting for the right timing of God🙏🤍
I would get married first.
You have a kind heart and desire is in the right place. What normally happens with the approach of most is they end up with the child raised by the government. The children attend gt school's with the indoctrination of wicked heathens, in some cases. Dad is at work. When they finally get home after a long day at work/ school, there's homework, friends, meal prep and all that life throws at us. That leaves little time and energy for a family of one parent. God designed women the way they are to be with the children while Dad is providing many things. She is his helper. Raising/ teaching children is a big part of that. This would be a good time to prepare for that.. I'd get acquainted with home school parents in your church and learn what curriculum they use and how they schedule everything.
I think your desire is honorable. Perhaps the Lord will give you someone like minded. There are lots of children who need adopted by Christians.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,083
725
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#29
I would get married first.
You have a kind heart and desire is in the right place. What normally happens with the approach of most is they end up with the child raised by the government. The children attend gt school's with the indoctrination of wicked heathens, in some cases. Dad is at work. When they finally get home after a long day at work/ school, there's homework, friends, meal prep and all that life throws at us. That leaves little time and energy for a family of one parent. God designed women the way they are to be with the children while Dad is providing many things. She is his helper. Raising/ teaching children is a big part of that. This would be a good time to prepare for that.. I'd get acquainted with home school parents in your church and learn what curriculum they use and how they schedule everything.
I think your desire is honorable. Perhaps the Lord will give you someone like minded. There are lots of children who need adopted by Christians.
Most men are not interested in adoption.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#30
the dad needs to have a heart for children. I have found that not many men care to provide for their young, just themselves, but then there are not many jobs out there that can cover raising a family these days

You need extra help from God. People seem to blame the govt for many things, bu they do provide some welfare, which is better than nothing. Churches often fail at this. However situations like war and economic crises are outside the control of many and its govts that step in because nobody can actually afford to lose more of the population to war and disease.

If war did not happen, we would have more than enough for everyone. But humans in general are stupid and cant deal with conflict in a peaceful manner.

Aunties and uncles, grandparents and godparents are a childs support network. It is not just one parent doing it all. You need nursing and nanny skills too.

why not do fostering or mentoring schemes first to see if you can handle it, or work in childcare. Early child are organisations are often privately run and they do in home care. Its not all provided by the govt. There are many Christian preschools.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,237
4,292
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#31
Most men are not interested in adoption.
That's probably true, but our OP is a man isn't he? I've know a handful of men in my own church that wanted to and did adopt. I'm not one of them, but I certainly am for Christian adoptions for whoever is. I just wish American adoption agencies would quit milking the system for money and get those babies in christian parents homes ASAP.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
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#32
That's probably true, but our OP is a man isn't he? I've know a handful of men in my own church that wanted to and did adopt. I'm not one of them, but I certainly am for Christian adoptions for whoever is. I just wish American adoption agencies would quit milking the system for money and get those babies in christian parents homes ASAP.
Maybe I missed it, and I just tried to double check, but I thought the OP is female?
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,237
4,292
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#33
Maybe I missed it, and I just tried to double check, but I thought the OP is female?
You are right! I'm the one who missed it.
🤦‍♂️
I am using a little cell phone screen now and only glanced. My apologies to you and especially to Akinonli. She is a pretty female.
 
Oct 21, 2022
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#34
You are right! I'm the one who missed it.
🤦‍♂️
I am using a little cell phone screen now and only glanced. My apologies to you and especially to Akinonli. She is a pretty female.
Hmmm what did I missed 😅 thank you Lord for I am fearfully and wonderfully made 🥰🤪
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,237
4,292
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#35
Hmmm what did I missed 😅 thank you Lord for I am fearfully and wonderfully made 🥰🤪
Amen!
I made a mistake talking with Ms Mediator.
After reading the title and quickly scrolling past your picture to the text, I assumed you were speaking from a man's point of view about adoption. It doesn't matter, but I am sorry for the mistake. It was obvious when I went back to your original post that I was wrong. Regardless, you have a big heart for wanting to adopt.
 
Oct 21, 2022
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#36
Amen!
I made a mistake talking with Ms Mediator.
After reading the title and quickly scrolling past your picture to the text, I assumed you were speaking from a man's point of view about adoption. It doesn't matter, but I am sorry for the mistake. It was obvious when I went back to your original post that I was wrong. Regardless, you have a big heart for wanting to adopt.
No worries 🙂
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#37
It would be very interesting what other mans POV is on adoption...hello men?

stilllearning says no...but then he had three and I would presume that ex at least raised them with him out of babyhood, or weaned them unless she left him soon after

Adopting babies is a bit different to adopting when they are older. Children become more expensive as they get older what with cost of school, uniforms, clothes, shoes, food then toys etc

Babies you can always get donations of clothes etc as they soon grow out of them and as they are smaller they are cheaper and they dont require all the extra things that children and teens now demand lol

eg if they want to play they can use their imaginations and are happy with a cardboard box and wrapping paper, plus you can easily knit them booties and dont need to get the latest sneakers...
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,237
4,292
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#38
It would be very interesting what other mans POV is on adoption...hello men?

stilllearning says no...but then he had three and I would presume that ex at least raised them with him out of babyhood, or weaned them unless she left him soon after

Adopting babies is a bit different to adopting when they are older. Children become more expensive as they get older what with cost of school, uniforms, clothes, shoes, food then toys etc

Babies you can always get donations of clothes etc as they soon grow out of them and as they are smaller they are cheaper and they dont require all the extra things that children and teens now demand lol

eg if they want to play they can use their imaginations and are happy with a cardboard box and wrapping paper, plus you can easily knit them booties and dont need to get the latest sneakers...
I'm sitting in front of a sewing machine right now. I have more than enough quality cloth diapers and plastic snaps to make it easier than safety pins. I have rolls of the best fabrics made in the top American mill. The other day I was thinking that they would make some awesome baby clothes.
Just thinking out loud here. I've never been short on quality food and clothes. It's easier to just buy them, but it would be enjoyable to tailor make them for the kids if ever blessed with them.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#39
The thing is these days to become a 'momtrepeneur' which in the olden days was just another name for 'cottage industry'

If you do happen to own your own home or have premises, you can start a preschool or day care/sitting service.

Here Plunket nurses have always provided free care for babies to supoort new mothers. It used to be, most mothers and babies actually died in childbirth because they didnt get good maternity care. We had a HUGE infant mortality rate as people were ignorant about hygiene and basic child rearing practises. And nobody really knew how to breastfeed or bottle feed cos it was never taught.

but Id say bottle feeds can actually be harder than breast feeding because of all the fuss mixing formula and sterilising the bottles.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,237
4,292
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#40
The thing is these days to become a 'momtrepeneur' which in the olden days was just another name for 'cottage industry'

If you do happen to own your own home or have premises, you can start a preschool or day care/sitting service.

Here Plunket nurses have always provided free care for babies to supoort new mothers. It used to be, most mothers and babies actually died in childbirth because they didnt get good maternity care. We had a HUGE infant mortality rate as people were ignorant about hygiene and basic child rearing practises. And nobody really knew how to breastfeed or bottle feed cos it was never taught.

but Id say bottle feeds can actually be harder than breast feeding because of all the fuss mixing formula and sterilising the bottles.
Mommas have the best formulas by far.
No weed killers or GMO soy boy ingredients.
Perfectly formulated for growth and maintenance. However, breast milk has not been approved by the FDA. 😉