What do you think about sharing household chores?

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Oct 31, 2019
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#1
Do you think married couples should share household chores? I'm curious to know what other people think about sharing household chores in married life.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,248
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#2
If you don't share household chores, you are in for a rocky road. According to scripture, two shall become one.

We've been married over 60 years.
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,040
1,159
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#3
Yes. Your wife is a helpmate, not a slave so no reason you can't pitch in and help with household chores
 

Robertt

Well-known member
May 22, 2019
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Bahrain
#4
When the wife says Jump.

Ask when you can come down.

A Happy wife is a happy life
 

Beckie

Well-known member
Feb 15, 2022
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#5
How each couple shares chores may well be different for each couple. There is not a set rule as to she does this he does that. As stated couples should be one. Some days one picks up the slack for the other. Married in 1964 i was blessed to be a stay at home mom i felt almost all the home chores were mine. If i could physically do it i did . Classic he mostly took care of the car.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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#6
Sharing chores around the home is wise, but should be balanced with the requirements each partner has to their work outside the home. It's ridiculous to expect someone who works full time to share chores equally with a partner who does not.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,165
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#7
My wife stays home, and she does most of the cooking. We make kids wash the dishes. I wash dishes sometimes, especially if they are tired and don't get to it. I generally do the laundry-- as in washing mine and my wife's and ironing my own, but my wife does the garden. She probably still does a lot more housework that I do.

Each married couple has to work this out. If husband and wife both work full-time, and she is expected to come home, cook, wash all the dishes, etc., he's wearing the poor woman out. If she stays home all day and is physically fit, then her doing the lion's share of the housework is reasonable, IMO, but if they have a baby, then he'll need to help out. If the man is out fixing the cars or repairing the fence when he gets home, then she should do more housework.

There was a study that showed that couples with traditional gender-divided chores had more sexual intercourse than those who did not, so that is something to consider also.
 

markss

Active member
Feb 10, 2020
112
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#8
How each couple shares chores may well be different for each couple. There is not a set rule as to she does this he does that. As stated couples should be one. Some days one picks up the slack for the other. Married in 1964 i was blessed to be a stay at home mom i felt almost all the home chores were mine. If i could physically do it i did . Classic he mostly took care of the car.
Yeah, I think we all find our own balance of labor, the real issue is whether we are actually loving our spouse, or just the "idea of being married".

Much love!
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,165
1,795
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#9
When the wife says Jump.

Ask when you can come down.

A Happy wife is a happy life
I know you are joking, but I wonder if comments like this and jokes about the wife being the 'neck' actually reinforce some really bad trends in our society when it comes to marriage.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,284
2,561
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#10
When the wife says Jump.

Ask when you can come down.

A Happy wife is a happy life
I thought that you were supposed to ask "How high?" While on the way up....
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,284
2,561
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#11
Seriously?
The two shall become ONE.

There is no sharing...there is no "division of labor".

Both do ALL that they can for the household. It doesn't matter what it is.


Obviously only the women can get pregnant or nurse...but dad's can change diapers, fill and hold bottles and burp babies.

But there's nothing stopping the wife from jacking up the family cars and changing the oil either...the sword cuts both ways.
 

markss

Active member
Feb 10, 2020
112
53
28
#12
Both do ALL that they can for the household. It doesn't matter what it is.
Yes, and I find that our roles over the course of the years have changed in what we each routinely do. And we each have our capabilites, which sometimes require what may seem an imbalance in distribution of labor, however, we each just do what we can, however much or little it may be, without looking at it as a "division of labor".

Rather, each of us doing all we can.

Much love!
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,165
1,795
113
#13
Seriously?
The two shall become ONE.

There is no sharing...there is no "division of labor".

Both do ALL that they can for the household. It doesn't matter what it is.


Obviously only the women can get pregnant or nurse...but dad's can change diapers, fill and hold bottles and burp babies.

But there's nothing stopping the wife from jacking up the family cars and changing the oil either...the sword cuts both ways.
Most women don't care to jack up the car and work under it. It's also a bit of a life-theatening/threat-of-injury situation. Even if you know what you are doing and have it propped up well, there is still that threat that it could fall on you. So it is more of a male thing.

My wife is from Asia, but we have talked about this, and it just feels like it is the man's role to go out into the elements, to get the object out of the car in the rain or snow, or maybe even the hot sun. If here is a venomous snake or an intruder, the man is supposed to imitate the example of laying down his life.

That's not to say a woman can't work on an engine if she wants to. Queen Elizabeth was a lady, and she was an automechanic.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,284
2,561
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#14
Most women don't care to jack up the car and work under it. It's also a bit of a life-theatening/threat-of-injury situation. Even if you know what you are doing and have it propped up well, there is still that threat that it could fall on you. So it is more of a male thing.

My wife is from Asia, but we have talked about this, and it just feels like it is the man's role to go out into the elements, to get the object out of the car in the rain or snow, or maybe even the hot sun. If here is a venomous snake or an intruder, the man is supposed to imitate the example of laying down his life.

That's not to say a woman can't work on an engine if she wants to. Queen Elizabeth was a lady, and she was an automechanic.


Car ramps are a lot safer than a floor jack...and there's the jack stands that are customarily used with floor Jacks that provide a lot of safety. Nobody is expected to enter harms way for changing the oil...ain't been a thing since the 1970's. It's not like changing a tire or brake pads
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,610
4,538
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#15
As an unmarried man, I do all the man chores and do all of the wife chores, if not as good as a lady. If marriage ever occurs, she And the young ones, (at age appropriate), should learn how to use all the appliances, shop equipment, basic maintenance of everything from the car to the sewing machine. They should know how to put food on the table, both plants and meat, and how to deal with threats, should they occur. My Dad was injured and couldn't do certain things until he recovered. Families need to be able to cover for one another and never rely on the gt. I know there are those who are disabled and I'm not judging them. I just know that temptations occur when setbacks happen. The flesh and the devil uses those to get our eyes off of the Lord and to redirect affections. Don't let it happen. God provides and has directions for families.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#16
I think every family is different and the delegation of dues labours must be appropriate to the circumstance.
Suburban life is different than urban and rural life is a far cry different than that.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#17
They should do as much as they can on what chores they are best and train their children to do the rest or otherwise hire help or outsource.

You can take your car to a mechanic, get a lawnmowing service, plumber, painter etc but it will cost you.
You can also eat out or get takeaway but its more expensive.

Washing machines do save time and putting in a full load just makes sense. Im sure if you are married you will figure out what work best and not just sit on your butt hoping someone else will do EVERYTHING around the house. Or your house will fall down, start to smell, and be unpleasant to live in.
 

Robertt

Well-known member
May 22, 2019
899
320
63
Bahrain
#19
I know you are joking, but I wonder if comments like this and jokes about the wife being the 'neck' actually reinforce some really bad trends in our society when it comes to marriage.
Not joking at all . Love your wife as Christ loves the church . Unless she wants something unsafe !
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
609
397
63
USA
#20
Do you think married couples should share household chores? I'm curious to know what other people think about sharing household chores in married life.
In my experience, and I'm a woman, if you want something done right then you do it yourself and if you just don't care about quality control issues because you just need a hand to prevent from falling behind then you ask for it and be grateful for the hand.

In my house, if I want the help I'll ask but I don't ask every day, or even every week. I do expect things out of him though that are essentially his chores but none of them are things I can do.