The night is always darkest just before dawn. I have a similar story, not quite as extreme as yours. I was born again 50 years ago. Before then, I was a drunk, nearly died from alcohol poisoning twice in two weeks, I was depressed and suicidal. I was not yet 21. My prayer consisted of "There must be more to life than this!"
Our problem is usually that we are focused on what we imagine is reality. Yes, we still suffer from bondages. I got drunk one more time after I was saved. I imagined that I could control my drinking now. I was perversely proud of my ability to drink. My liver was not so happy with me!
We need to know that we are not what we think or feel. This can only happen as the truth gets into our hearts and grows there. The truth is that Jesus is now your life. He is not your new set of rules or just your helper (although He does help). He lives in you to be in you all that God requires of you. One day I quit trying to be a good Christian. I told Jesus that it was all too hard for me. I said that if He wanted me to be victorious as a Christian, He would have to do it. I gave my whole life over to Him, nothing held back. That was hard for me. From that time on, things gradually changed. I am nothing like I used to be, as my fiancee will testify. I've known her for 40 years and she's seen the change.
Satan hates you and wants to render you ineffective as a Christian. He is a liar and destroyer. He accuses you before God. You need to know that you are forgiven and that the blood of Christ has paid for all your sin, including what you did a minute ago. Study God's word! Ask God to show you what His word means in experience. Theology saves no one. The truth sets us free.
I have to go, but I'm happy to help you any way I can.
Our problem is usually that we are focused on what we imagine is reality. Yes, we still suffer from bondages. I got drunk one more time after I was saved. I imagined that I could control my drinking now. I was perversely proud of my ability to drink. My liver was not so happy with me!
We need to know that we are not what we think or feel. This can only happen as the truth gets into our hearts and grows there. The truth is that Jesus is now your life. He is not your new set of rules or just your helper (although He does help). He lives in you to be in you all that God requires of you. One day I quit trying to be a good Christian. I told Jesus that it was all too hard for me. I said that if He wanted me to be victorious as a Christian, He would have to do it. I gave my whole life over to Him, nothing held back. That was hard for me. From that time on, things gradually changed. I am nothing like I used to be, as my fiancee will testify. I've known her for 40 years and she's seen the change.
Satan hates you and wants to render you ineffective as a Christian. He is a liar and destroyer. He accuses you before God. You need to know that you are forgiven and that the blood of Christ has paid for all your sin, including what you did a minute ago. Study God's word! Ask God to show you what His word means in experience. Theology saves no one. The truth sets us free.
I have to go, but I'm happy to help you any way I can.
Thanks for the reply mate i'm glad to read you beat your drinking it encourages me. Alcohol is a bad drug. Most people don't see drink and illicit drugs as the same thing but they absolutely are. Anyway as you say you gave your whole life ovet to Christ and held nothing back how exactly did you do this? I too have told God i cannot do this and need him to take the reigns but instead of becoming closer to Him i have slowly gotten further away. When i first became a believer i felt i was on the path to becoming a faithful servant but eventually it all began to get even harder. I have come to the conclusion that Satan left me to my own devices until i became a believer as i was doing bad things all on my own but when i began to seek God i believe he turned up the heat and my experience of getting worse over the last year or so is a result of spiritual attack. I may be wrong but something has been making it harder to cope than it was prior to finding out Jesus is real and He is the truth. Surely that must be due to spiritual warfare and my being ill equipped?
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