About rules on Christian dating

I am an old guy...so maybe it is easier for me? But the sex urge is still very strong, maybe not as strong as it was when I was younger. I am writting this in the hopes that it will benefit someone that need the idea that you can overcome the sin of lust and improper use of your body in sex:

For over a year now I have overcome a lifelong sexual sin. That sin took many forms including self sex. No need to elaborate. I am married but still celebate. How is it possible to resist such strong temptations? In my case I just decided that it was offending God. I wanted to stop offending Him. So what happens if you do decide to do something like that. All I can describe is that it is painful, the drive is so strong and doesn't want to be said no to. After that decision I had a very close encounter with God that still is with me. After that I realized that I loved God far more than the sin and could resist it. Something else was added: everytime I had the temptation I had great joy which I think could only be His presence during this temptation. The joy was so great that I looked forward to the temptations which dimished over time. Could I sin in this way again, probably not, because I do love Him so much that it easy to say no to myself. I belong to Him, I am owned by Him.

So what am I suggesting? Become committed to being owned by Him. Everything you are and whatever you will be dedicated to Him. Ask Him for a close loving connection with Him. I have found that when worshipping Him I become nothing and He becomes everything. Once that has happened your view of everthing changes. And being nothing I can tell you that you can be nothing too, just adoring Him and loving Him. Its not just for the Saints, its for you.

Wife's medical condition.

Wife's medical condition was the reason for being celebate, sorry I should have said that. I think he has given me the self control. But that does make me on the same footing as a single person, the same challenge for sexual purity. I am not unique. He has told me this "Are you going to selfishly love me without regard to your brothers and sisters, I love them as much as I love you" So thats what I am attempting to do, give what he has given me and have everyone I can to love Him and be loved by Him. I write and post the poems I do from my relationship to Him, it is usually what is actually going on in me or what He has said to me.

I am in total agreement with you. Sex creates a very close bond in marriage. Our marriage can be seen as a symbol of the marriage between us and Jesus. It was designed by the Master. Celebacy is not my choice but its what I will accept.

I guess the close encounter with God was what only happend to me and occured close to my decision to honor Him and obey Him. Truth is I can't say if it was a reward or not, but whatever reason this close encounter happened, I am grateful. My main hope is that we all have a very close relationship with our loving Father.

The fact that you are married makes a big difference. You do have a bond, a single, never married person does not have in their life. I don't know the situation of you wife, but you could have other forms of sex, if possible. Look at the Song of Solomon.

I wouldn't even call it that. There are many Christian women I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. That isn't just because of looks. I met women in church who would not have a tv in their house, afraid the devil might get in. I knew a Christian woman who blamed her husband for the demons entering the house and she had to pray and chant to get them out.

Wife's medical condition.

The fact that you are married makes a big difference. You do have a bond, a single, never married person does not have in their life. I don't know the situation of you wife, but you could have other forms of sex, if possible. Look at the Song of Solomon.

As far as I know there are no physical forms of sex that don't offend God for me. Just my conscience which can be wrong.

As far as the drive is concerned just the fact that I married doesn't change it. You can have a bond with a friend without sex. Yes not the same as a marriage partner that I have. What a wonderful woman so sensitive about people and what they need, makes me embarrassed. I would be diminished much more than half without her. I thank God for her!

If you are single and God requires you to purity it is reasonable that He will give you the means to do it. I guess the answer to me is that He can give you a close relationship to Him. For me the meeting place in the past and now is worship. It was also what I was doing when I had the close encounter with Him. I can't tell you how He thinks or what He will do but He is the One to petition for closeness. I think He will give it to you. If He does, then it changes everything about your life, that includes controlling your sex drive. If that has not happened, resort to Paul's advice...get married if possible.

Apparently, her church turned her into a total nutcase. I feel sorry for her husband.

You and your wife were clearly attracted to each other physically before you
got married

Apparently, her church turned her into a total nutcase. I feel sorry for her husband.

I want all the new seekers coming onto CC to know that I find the above (if
it has not been repented of) to be disturbing, disgusting, and the extreme
and complete antithesis of purity and holiness before marriage. God have
mercy on CC if this is where we are headed.

You said "If that has not happened, resort to Paul's advice...get married if possible. ".....I'm 68 never wanted the singles life, have no desire for it. I have tried and tried again. it has been frustrating to have GOD's hand get in the way many times. I do admit he has saved me from several bad choices. I should have been married in my 30's or 40's....I'm still trying, haven't given up.

You said "If that has not happened, resort to Paul's advice...get married if possible. ".....I'm 68 never wanted the singles life, have no desire for it. I have tried and tried again. it has been frustrating to have GOD's hand get in the way many times. I do admit he has saved me from several bad choices. I should have been married in my 30's or 40's....I'm still trying, haven't given up.

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• Col 2:18a . . Don't let anyone condemn you by insisting on self-denial.

Now we're getting into the sphere of asceticism; which Christ has never
approved. Asceticism describes a life-style characterized by abstinence from
materialism and various sorts of worldly pleasures (e.g. sex, cosmetics,
movies, dancing, alcohol, romance novels, soaps, gambling, and the
accumulation of material wealth) often with the aim of pursuing religious and
spiritual goals.

Ascetics think themselves to possess a superior spirituality over and above
regular Christians; but Paul popped that bubble soundly.

"These people claim to be so humble, but their sinful minds have made them
conceited. They are not connected to Christ, the head of the body." (Col
2:18c-19)

(chuckle) Paul depicted ascetics as sort of like the headless horseman in the
Legend Of Sleepy Hollow.

NOTE: Webster's defines conceit as an excessive appreciation for one's own
worth or virtue; viz: a superiority complex. Conceited folk typically regard
themselves infallible, smarter than you, and holier than you.
_

I want all the new seekers coming onto CC to know that I find the above (if it has not been repented of) to be disturbing, disgusting, and the extreme and complete antithesis of purity and holiness before marriage. God have mercy on CC if this is where we are headed.

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In the beginning, men and women were totally nude together and thought
nothing of it. That didn't last long. When Adam tasted the forbidden fruit
they immediately set to work fashioning loin cloths to conceal their pelvic
areas.

In other words: their sense of decency-- especially regarding sex and the
human body --underwent a radical revision; and that change was not caused
by their maker, nor was it caused by the chemistry of that fruit. No, it was
caused by a demonic spirit being capable of tampering with the human mind
in ways not easily detected.
_

1 Corinthians 6:9-11