About rules on Christian dating

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Webers.Home

Well-known member
May 28, 2018
5,794
1,069
113
Oregon
cfbac.org
#61
.
A season is set for everything,
A time for every experience under heaven.
Solomon ben David, Ecc 3:1

Life can't be put on hold, nor a moment be sealed in a zip-lock bag to be
savored later because moments are momentary. The instant moments
happen, they become fixed in the frozen sea of the past. People who think to
save themselves for marriage for example, can do no such thing. One cannot
save life as if it were possible to put life in storage. No, life goes on; it moves
ahead with or without us.

When people try to save themselves for later; they only end up letting
themselves go to waste because youth isn't static; no, youth is left behind
like the treads of a rope bridge crumbling off behind us for every step
taken as we cross over to the other side; ergo: the time to live life is while
we have it; not wait to live it later after we've gone to seed. That rope
bridge steadily gets to the point when there are no treads left to retrace
our steps.

Young people should enjoy a young person's life to the fullest while they
have the chance because there is a lot to life that can be fully enjoyed only
while we are young. Age takes the pleasure out of many things in life that
were once fresh and exciting.

Romance especially is dulled by age. When we're young; love and romance
take our breath away, we can't sleep for the excitement, and all can think of
is being with our lover. Well, when we get older, it's not like that. And I don't
mean real old either. People in only their mid thirties and forties no longer
feel the same electricity.

As a case in point, I dated a little in high school. Afterwards, during three
years of active duty in the Army I avoided girls and did no dating at all. After
discharge, I dated a girl when I was 21 and then completely lost interest in
dating till I was 32. But guess what? That decade of celibacy rendered me
almost completely frigid. I could feel very little chemistry with girls; they
were simply people of a different gender.

The only reason I married at all is because of the aging process. One day
while shaving, as I looked in the mirror I noticed my face beginning to sag
and my hair thinning and receding. It was a wake-up call. I realized the time
of life for attracting a girl and starting a family was rapidly slipping away
where before I gave it no thought at all.

I let my past go too fast
No time to pause.
If I could slow it all down,
Like some captain whose ship runs aground,
I could wait until the tide comes around.
RUSH, Time Stand Still, 1987

Life is one of those things that we cannot go back and do over. We're only
young once; and we feel the energy of the young only once too; and that's
for a relatively brief time compared to the remainder of our lives; and for this
kid there's not much left 'cause I'm pushing 79.
_
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#62
It's not a sin. Where did you get that from? It's advice from God's word on how to avoid fornication. Don't touch. If I never drink alcohol, I'll never become an alcoholic.
Some people are acting like just touching someone is a sin. It's not. People need the physical touch.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#63
.
A season is set for everything,
A time for every experience under heaven.
Solomon ben David, Ecc 3:1


Life can't be put on hold, nor a moment be sealed in a zip-lock bag to be
savored later because moments are momentary. The instant moments
happen, they become fixed in the frozen sea of the past. People who think to
save themselves for marriage for example, can do no such thing. One cannot
save life as if it were possible to put life in storage. No, life goes on; it moves
ahead with or without us.


When people try to save themselves for later; they only end up letting
themselves go to waste because youth isn't static; no, youth is left behind
like the treads of a rope bridge crumbling off behind us for every step
taken as we cross over to the other side; ergo: the time to live life is while
we have it; not wait to live it later after we've gone to seed. That rope
bridge steadily gets to the point when there are no treads left to retrace
our steps.


Young people should enjoy a young person's life to the fullest while they
have the chance because there is a lot to life that can be fully enjoyed only
while we are young. Age takes the pleasure out of many things in life that
were once fresh and exciting.


Romance especially is dulled by age. When we're young; love and romance
take our breath away, we can't sleep for the excitement, and all can think of
is being with our lover. Well, when we get older, it's not like that. And I don't
mean real old either. People in only their mid thirties and forties no longer
feel the same electricity.


As a case in point, I dated a little in high school. Afterwards, during three
years of active duty in the Army I avoided girls and did no dating at all. After
discharge, I dated a girl when I was 21 and then completely lost interest in
dating till I was 32. But guess what? That decade of celibacy rendered me
almost completely frigid. I could feel very little chemistry with girls; they
were simply people of a different gender.


The only reason I married at all is because of the aging process. One day
while shaving, as I looked in the mirror I noticed my face beginning to sag
and my hair thinning and receding. It was a wake-up call. I realized the time
of life for attracting a girl and starting a family was rapidly slipping away
where before I gave it no thought at all.


I let my past go too fast
No time to pause.
If I could slow it all down,
Like some captain whose ship runs aground,
I could wait until the tide comes around.
RUSH, Time Stand Still, 1987


Life is one of those things that we cannot go back and do over. We're only
young once; and we feel the energy of the young only once too; and that's
for a relatively brief time compared to the remainder of our lives; and for this
kid there's not much left 'cause I'm pushing 79.
_

Very good points, use it or lose it.
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
17,112
3,687
113
#64
Some people are acting like just touching someone is a sin. It's not. People need the physical touch.
Yes, agreed, but if one has a problem with fornication, then hands off...do not touch.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#65
.
A season is set for everything,
A time for every experience under heaven.
Solomon ben David, Ecc 3:1


Life can't be put on hold, nor a moment be sealed in a zip-lock bag to be
savored later because moments are momentary. The instant moments
happen, they become fixed in the frozen sea of the past. People who think to
save themselves for marriage for example, can do no such thing. One cannot
save life as if it were possible to put life in storage. No, life goes on; it moves
ahead with or without us.


When people try to save themselves for later; they only end up letting
themselves go to waste because youth isn't static; no, youth is left behind
like the treads of a rope bridge crumbling off behind us for every step
taken as we cross over to the other side; ergo: the time to live life is while
we have it; not wait to live it later after we've gone to seed. That rope
bridge steadily gets to the point when there are no treads left to retrace
our steps.


Young people should enjoy a young person's life to the fullest while they
have the chance because there is a lot to life that can be fully enjoyed only
while we are young. Age takes the pleasure out of many things in life that
were once fresh and exciting.


Romance especially is dulled by age. When we're young; love and romance
take our breath away, we can't sleep for the excitement, and all can think of
is being with our lover. Well, when we get older, it's not like that. And I don't
mean real old either. People in only their mid thirties and forties no longer
feel the same electricity.


As a case in point, I dated a little in high school. Afterwards, during three
years of active duty in the Army I avoided girls and did no dating at all. After
discharge, I dated a girl when I was 21 and then completely lost interest in
dating till I was 32. But guess what? That decade of celibacy rendered me
almost completely frigid. I could feel very little chemistry with girls; they
were simply people of a different gender.


The only reason I married at all is because of the aging process. One day
while shaving, as I looked in the mirror I noticed my face beginning to sag
and my hair thinning and receding. It was a wake-up call. I realized the time
of life for attracting a girl and starting a family was rapidly slipping away
where before I gave it no thought at all.


I let my past go too fast
No time to pause.
If I could slow it all down,
Like some captain whose ship runs aground,
I could wait until the tide comes around.
RUSH, Time Stand Still, 1987


Life is one of those things that we cannot go back and do over. We're only
young once; and we feel the energy of the young only once too; and that's
for a relatively brief time compared to the remainder of our lives; and for this
kid there's not much left 'cause I'm pushing 79.
_
People at the time of Jesus married young because they knew about the raging hormones. Their way to lessen that was to get married. The church has actually taken on the world view of waiting until you're 30 or 40.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
#67
Very good points, use it or lose it.
That sums up your position pretty well, then. That goes well beyond the kind of touching one does when helping grandmother to cross the street. Except you repent, you will lose much more than just that to which you referred to in your post.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#68
That sums up your position pretty well, then. That goes well beyond the kind of touching one does when helping grandmother to cross the street. Except you repent, you will lose much more than just that to which you referred to in your post.
I can't tell how many times I heard in the church, wait on the LORD and let GOD chose your spouse. That is a lie, it's not in the bible concerning sex and marriage. get married young while you still have the full desires.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,276
4,316
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#69
.
A season is set for everything,
A time for every experience under heaven.
Solomon ben David, Ecc 3:1


Life can't be put on hold, nor a moment be sealed in a zip-lock bag to be
savored later because moments are momentary. The instant moments
happen, they become fixed in the frozen sea of the past. People who think to
save themselves for marriage for example, can do no such thing. One cannot
save life as if it were possible to put life in storage. No, life goes on; it moves
ahead with or without us.


When people try to save themselves for later; they only end up letting
themselves go to waste because youth isn't static; no, youth is left behind
like the treads of a rope bridge crumbling off behind us for every step
taken as we cross over to the other side; ergo: the time to live life is while
we have it; not wait to live it later after we've gone to seed. That rope
bridge steadily gets to the point when there are no treads left to retrace
our steps.


Young people should enjoy a young person's life to the fullest while they
have the chance because there is a lot to life that can be fully enjoyed only
while we are young. Age takes the pleasure out of many things in life that
were once fresh and exciting.


Romance especially is dulled by age. When we're young; love and romance
take our breath away, we can't sleep for the excitement, and all can think of
is being with our lover. Well, when we get older, it's not like that. And I don't
mean real old either. People in only their mid thirties and forties no longer
feel the same electricity.


As a case in point, I dated a little in high school. Afterwards, during three
years of active duty in the Army I avoided girls and did no dating at all. After
discharge, I dated a girl when I was 21 and then completely lost interest in
dating till I was 32. But guess what? That decade of celibacy rendered me
almost completely frigid. I could feel very little chemistry with girls; they
were simply people of a different gender.


The only reason I married at all is because of the aging process. One day
while shaving, as I looked in the mirror I noticed my face beginning to sag
and my hair thinning and receding. It was a wake-up call. I realized the time
of life for attracting a girl and starting a family was rapidly slipping away
where before I gave it no thought at all.


I let my past go too fast
No time to pause.
If I could slow it all down,
Like some captain whose ship runs aground,
I could wait until the tide comes around.
RUSH, Time Stand Still, 1987


Life is one of those things that we cannot go back and do over. We're only
young once; and we feel the energy of the young only once too; and that's
for a relatively brief time compared to the remainder of our lives; and for this
kid there's not much left 'cause I'm pushing 79.
_
What I take from this is that there's nothing wrong with marrying young rather than put it off for career and such things that life brings us as time goes on.
I had squandered opportunities as a young man who wished I had an older man to impart such wisdom at the time. There were parents who wanted me to spend time getting aquatinted with their daughters that I let slip by with college, business, and ministry. That relationship was secondary back then, but I misunderstood that youth is when we need a lot of training and wisdom on marriage/childrearing. Parents leave that for gt school and the Sunday school teachers. That has been a major failure of the previous and present generations. This is the same problem we are reminded of time and again in scripture. God's people married heathens and chose to do things like the heathens. That's America and parents turn their children over to the heathens 5 days/ week and expect the Sunday school teachers to balance that out, while both parents are working outside the home. When they graduate, they've"done their jobs'" then turn them over to marry heathens at the heathen colleges. Then they wonder why Sally and Sam won't go to church anymore.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
#70
People at the time of Jesus married young because they knew about the raging hormones
This does seem to the governing factor in many lives today. We are not called to be servants of our "raging hormones."

1 Corinthians 3
16Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? 17If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#71
Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
Proverbs 5:18-19
 

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2020
14,059
5,705
113
#72
as long as we live in sinful bodies, this will not stop. Adultery is if one person is married. Jesus was not talking about two single people.
oh alright

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10:3-5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

seems more like a wise battle
Plan
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#73
"every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God ".....Paul was talking about the people in Corinth that were against his teachings. He wasn't talking about believers.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#74
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete."

"demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,"......unless the believers were having arguments in their own minds, this does not apply to them. That would make them psychotic. They were fighting against the lies being told about Paul's teaching.
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
83
#75
Just because someone is a Christian does not mean you should marry them. According to some peoples way of thinking, Adam should have walked away from Eve. She was the one who fell, not him.
Rather than sin against God. He should have sought God and do what was prescribed.
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
83
#76
They didn't last because they were not a match. Personality and habits can make a difference. A person can have bad habits that are not a sin, but those habits can destroy a marriage.
Not an excuse for divorce. Habits can be changed if it necessary to cause a marriage to flourish
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
83
#78
Marriage is simple. Commit yourself to the biblical principles of husbandship and fatherhood, Find a woman who shares your faith and values who is committed to the biblical prescription for married life, and marry her and do your due diligence to the biblical role. You will be married forever and will be happy for it.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#79
Not an excuse for divorce. Habits can be changed if it necessary to cause a marriage to flourish
Only if the person is willing to change. Try being married to someone who refuses to change..
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#80
Marriage is simple. Commit yourself to the biblical principles of husbandship and fatherhood, Find a woman who shares your faith and values who is committed to the biblical prescription for married life, and marry her and do your due diligence to the biblical role. You will be married forever and will be happy for it.
Depends on their biblical views. If one person decides to be in prayer to the LORD for a month, meaning no sex for a month.....what do you do than? If they decide to eat only what the Old Testament laws allow, what would you do?