Alisha, so sorry to hear you are feeling so low i will lift you in my prayers, right now. Thank you for sharing so that we can pray for you. Safe Hugs ♡
Please remember our feelings can be a gift, the fruits of His spirit after all are all those things you feel you are missing....joy, hope, peace, love, long suffering...but keep in mind our emotions, too much or lack there of, can lead us astray. I totally can attest to that in my own life. We are in human bodies, and we have seasons. Have you considered He might be wooing you into the desert, that you may fall to your knees, straight to His arms of His love and mercy?
Also, I hope you are getting rest and eating a healthy diet, getting outside in nature, going for a walk, stuff like that. Laughter really helps me, but maybe finding some Christian counsel in person, someone to talk to...
Sometimes we all have to faith it, until He makes it. Please, keep on believing. He loves you so.