Dear Sister,
I thank you for sharing with me your story. I can relate to what you are telling me. It's amazing how you do this for your father and it is hard to hear that you actually help him in his time of need the way that you do. You are doing what is pleasing in God's eyes. Because you opened up your life to me for me to see God through your eyes, I'll share here and now with you my testimony or rather more about how my mother is so that you can better understand.
Before that, I pray that our Lord Jesus grant you the strength you need in difficult times where you feel unappreciated and unloved by the man whom you have loved and cared for since your youth up until this time. You are in your middle age now and have seen life and fought hard and still are fighting for your faith and for a good life. I pray that God reward you with the best both in this life and in heaven. Nothing is impossible for our God.
My faith in Jesus, I got though my mother. My mother is the strongest woman I know. Here in India, it's all arranged marriages you see. She never wanted to marry. She just wanted to live her life doing ministry work as a spinster. She was forced into marriage with a man (My father) whom she knew and didn't want to marry.
She was physically beaten by my father herself. There are things I saw as a kid I cannot say here. It's too traumatic. A lot of abusive words were used. My father was very unfaithful throughout his marriage. All right in front of our very eyes. Lived a life contrary to his marriage vows. Left the family to do as he pleased and live another life.
My mother's family didn't believe in divorce at the time all this happened. Don't think they do even now. So, two unhappy couples stuck with each other. My father was hardly home as he stayed overseas. Every time he came home, he would fight and be abusive with my mother and us.
She took it all and did for us (her children) what the best parents in the world would do. Sacrifice their lives so that we can be brought up the way they think best for us.
But along the way, there's the way the church looks at a woman who is alone raising her kids without the husband. Then there are the neighbours and the gloating relatives and the fear of judgement from society can all bear down heavily on a woman like my mother. And guess where she took out all that aggression on. Me. My brother too.
What good values I have, I got from her. She's a very imperfect woman. But she's pure woman. In the sense that she hasn't known another man besides my father. She still maintains all that. And that's all she has. So, if she is this way. It's the Church that made her that way. Her family, her surroundings that made her that way. She was alright to start off with. I knew who she was when I was young. But my mother cannot listen to one complete sentence from me without interrupting me today.
She lacks basic rationale and logic and is sometimes delusional. And age has caught up with her. We as her children understand what was done to her. What all happened. We understand. We are supportive. And yes, I agree with the moving out of my home and all that to start a new life. I know that and I have common sense to understand all that.
But, there's a way for people to say it.
And God willing, it will happen in His time. I'm working for it. There's a time for things to happen as well.
Today, I'm a Christian with my Bible. I know how abusive churches can be. I've been to many. How judgemental. But I don't hold back from sharing my faith and my love for God, for Jesus as a believer. I do go for Sunday service when I can. When I can't, I still hold the sabbath sacred.
I live my life holding on to what God expects of His children. To forgive, to love and to have and practice Christian values. I always look to God and am connected with God in everything I do. I try to keep that connection always even in times of weakness. I'm not perfect. Always working on myself.
And that's me. I thank you for your prayers very much. It means the world to me what you have shared. I accept your friendship and though I may not always send DMs and all that. If you did, I will always reply. And I am there for you to be heard by you in return if you wished to share something with me. Thank you and God bless you and your family!
P.S. - Thank you for sharing that video. It is a good narration of the salvation history given in The Bible right from Hagar to Ruth to King David to Mary Magdalene. How God works in these individuals lives and how important Our Saviour's sacrifice in the cross was for us. Thanks for sharing.
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