Why I hate my personality.

If could change it, I think I would!

As someone who has spent most of his life friendless, and even in pain. I've been observing people, and wondering things like. If I'm trying to be a good person. A kind person. A generous person. Then why on earth do people not like me? The only reasons I could come up with is: 1) I'm not into sports. 2) I have nothing anyone values. or 3) It's my personality.

Sad thing about your personality is the fact you can't change it. Somehow it's baked deep inside of you. It might even be your very soul. So if people don't like you because of your personality, then your screwed.

While I think that salvation is available to anyone who believes on Jesus for salvation. (I'm not going to go in specific details on that) It is then up to Jesus to change your heart. But what happens if Jesus decides to not change your heart?

I got say it, there are some really weird ideas floating around. When I just got done writing this, I realize i got some weird ideas too. I got a vision of what a Christian should be in my head. And I don't even fit what that vision is... I'm not saying that true believer, will be liked by everyone. What I'm trying to say is, sometimes people don't like people, because some people are just not likable people. I think a Christian should be a likable person among other believers. But I get the impression that I am not a likable person among other believers. I hope that makes sense. That is why I say "I hate my personality". If could change it, I think I would!

As someone who has spent most of his life friendless, and even in pain. I've been observing people, and wondering things like. If I'm trying to be a good person. A kind person. A generous person. Then why on earth do people not like me? The only reasons I could come up with is: 1) I'm not into sports. 2) I have nothing anyone values. or 3) It's my personality.

Sad thing about your personality is the fact you can't change it. Somehow it's baked deep inside of you. It might even be your very soul. So if people don't like you because of your personality, then your screwed.

While I think that salvation is available to anyone who believes on Jesus for salvation. (I'm not going to go in specific details on that) It is then up to Jesus to change your heart. But what happens if Jesus decides to not change your heart?

I got say it, there are some really weird ideas floating around. When I just got done writing this, I realize i got some weird ideas too. I got a vision of what a Christian should be in my head. And I don't even fit what that vision is... I'm not saying that true believer, will be liked by everyone. What I'm trying to say is, sometimes people don't like people, because some people are just not likable people. I think a Christian should be a likable person among other believers. But I get the impression that I am not a likable person among other believers. I hope that makes sense. That is why I say "I hate my personality". If could change it, I think I would!

I think a lot of this has to do with being self-conscious or in other words something you're not sure about yourself. The only reason others may not respond to anyone is if they sense a problem there they don't know how to deal with. Sooo figure out if that is the case and if so, find all the positive Scriptures that tell us who God says we are and confess them over yourself daily. God certainly did not give us an unlikeable spirit so shut that down. God bless💛

Work a little harder with scripture and then things will feel better. It is not the scriptures that cause this, it's how people react to me. I can be listening to my Bible, and the very next time a person reacts I go into depression.

Please describe "how exactly" people 'react' to you - and, "what exactly" they are reacting to...

The way people react is very subtle. By watching and listening to how they talk to you, or don't talk to you, you can just tell. But describing something like this, to someone that doesn't experience it for themselves. I don't know how to do that. It isn't like bullying, where someone is very harsh to you.

yes deep inside you know they don't like you so it starts the sad feelings and shyness feelings even stronger

I guess the way I would describe it. You notice a pattern with the people. Is that what you notice too?

The way people react is very subtle. By watching and listening to how they talk to you, or don't talk to you, you can just tell. But describing something like this, to someone that doesn't experience it for themselves. I don't know how to do that. It isn't like bullying, where someone is very harsh to you.

What makes you think I don't know all-too-well what you are talking about?

What you say others do to you - you just did to me. (Whether you realize it or not.)

For whatever reason - others don't believe they will be able to relate to you effectively. So - they "ignore" you, don't "give you the time of day", etc. And, it is all because they are not willing to make the effort to cross whatever boundary they perceive is between you and them.

What you need to recognize is that it is not always 100% on you - sometimes the "problem" is on their end.

But, if you are "depressed" all of the time, the perception of you that others have will be enough to dissuade them from even trying to relate to you - no one wants to be around somebody like that - it is human nature.

You have to learn how to "be the better man" and overcome your tendency to allow yourself to fall into the "depression" that you speak of.

Only you can do this.

No one can do it for you.

You must do it for yourself.

(with the Lord's help, of course)

The solution is 'part you part them'.

Just do your part - which is to learn to not react negatively to their actions/reactions.

Instead, "be the person you want them to be" - see if you get better results.

Be kind, friendly, etc. with everyone - eventually, it should "take" - and, someone will respond in a way you would like to see.

If you should happen to create a "woe is me" impression in the minds of others - they will run from you.

(At least, most will.)

Since you seemed to believe and trust that you would be able to relate to @JillianMarie but not me in this regard - I waited a while before writing another post - to see how far your conversation with her might/would go.

I have a great deal more experience with some of this than you realize.

Only, I [eventually] chose to handle it much differently than you seem to be doing.

I am only trying to help you - if I can...

My previous posts in this thread are intended to get you to think about why you feel as you do - and, are saying some of the things you are.

What makes you think I don't know all-too-well what you are talking about?

What you say others do to you - you just did to me. (Whether you realize it or not.)

For whatever reason - others don't believe they will be able to relate to you effectively. So - they "ignore" you, don't "give you the time of day", etc. And, it is all because they are not willing to make the effort to cross whatever boundary they perceive is between you and them.

What you need to recognize is that it is not always 100% on you - sometimes the "problem" is on their end.

But, if you are "depressed" all of the time, the perception of you that others have will be enough to dissuade them from even trying to relate to you - no one wants to be around somebody like that - it is human nature.

You have to learn how to "be the better man" and overcome your tendency to allow yourself to fall into the "depression" that you speak of.

Only you can do this.

No one can do it for you.

You must do it for yourself.

(with the Lord's help, of course)

The solution is 'part you part them'.

Just do your part - which is to learn to not react negatively to their actions/reactions.

Instead, "be the person you want them to be" - see if you get better results.

Be kind, friendly, etc. with everyone - eventually, it should "take" - and, someone will respond in a way you would like to see.

If you should happen to create a "woe is me" impression in the minds of others - they will run from you.

(At least, most will.)

Since you seemed to believe and trust that you would be able to relate to @JillianMarie but not me in this regard - I waited a while before writing another post - to see how far your conversation with her might/would go.

I have a great deal more experience with some of this than you realize.

Only, I [eventually] chose to handle it much differently than you seem to be doing.

I am only trying to help you - if I can...

My previous posts in this thread are intended to get you to think about why you feel as you do - and, are saying some of the things you are.

yes but its not easy to understand about them and mostly I just try my best to be nice but they think I'm a prude because its hard for me talk with people a lot of times

Yeah I hear you. I keep doing all the right things and getting all the wrong responses. God goes out of His way to teach me things, charges us with sharing what He gives us, but then stymies and stonewalls my every effort to do just that. I make every effort to help others, yet there is NO ONE that I won't eventually alienate thru those efforts. The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is the knowledge that would fail too. And if it did succeed, the only time someone would notice my absence is when the neighbors start complaining about the stench of my decaying body emanating from the house. I really have no idea why I'm here, other than to provide an easy target for the enemies arrows.