Why do men and women hate each other?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
Why does this sound so familiar...?

:unsure:
The problem here is the courts. They aren't fair. They assume that the woman is in the right and has the biggest need. Which isn't always true. Anyways that is what I gathered from the stories I've heard. At any rate these stories circulate and scare men. From where I sit, I probably will never get a girlfriend let along get married. And yet I feel a fear inside of me that if I ever do fall in love she's going to abandon me. Why? Because that's the trend I experience, whenever a teacher at work decides to stop talking to me. Or whenever a woman on the internet decides to ghost me. For reasons, that I can only offer guesses on why??? Haven't I been nice to you? Haven't I listened to you? Haven't I talked to you? Haven't I been honest with you? So, really? What am I missing here? :unsure: So some guys will say, You got to be more romantic. That's easier said then done. If it's at work, you'd better be careful. If it's online, that's pretty hard... I get stuck either way.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I would get over a teacher not talking to someone
Teachers talk all the time in class and they actually want to save their voices. Not personal at all

as for ghosting, often its not personal either. Ghosting happens because people actually need a break from online stuff.
Not everyone wants to be connected 24/7
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
both women and men are free to leave each other if they dont get along
of course divorce is final but its an option, actually a mercy rather than die at the hands of your spouse
you cant actually MAKE someone stay with you forever. You can only promise that you will.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
113
The problem here is the courts. They aren't fair. They assume that the woman is in the right and has the biggest need. Which isn't always true. Anyways that is what I gathered from the stories I've heard. At any rate these stories circulate and scare men.
Bro, if only you knew.

I'm not going to rehash my whole horrific ordeal again, but I will say that I was very fortunate that I was in New Jersey and not in Pennsylvania when my ex shifted her plan to destroy me into full gear several years ago by calling the police on me and pressing totally false charges against me. Why? Well, because I've subsequently had to appear in court a few times out here in Pennsylvania, and, BELIEVE ME, the judges/courts out here HATE MEN WITH A PASSION. I've almost been arrested a few times, and although I've committed many sins in my past, I'm TOTALLY INNOCENT in relation to any/all of the charges that my ex has leveled against me over the years.

Even in New Jersey, the police officers who were summoned that day treated me like a PILE OF :poop:. Again, I was not only TOTALLY INNOCENT of the false charges that she leveled against me, but I was also honest, respectful, and extremely cooperative with the police. They couldn't care less. One of them was so exceedingly hostile towards me that I believe that he would have literally shot me if he thought that he could have gotten away with it, and, again, I was a TOTALLY INNOCENT man. When I was summoned to court in New Jersey, I only asked a handful of people to pray for my situation, and I asked them to pray for one specific thing, and one specific thing alone:

That God would grant me a wise and discerning judge.

Thankfully, my/our prayers were answered. There were 27 cases heard that day, with my case being the 27th. The 26 defendants before me all appeared in their finest clothes with lawyers at their sides, and they were all found guilty. I appeared in court in my trademark t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers while defending myself, and I won by a landslide.

From where I sit, I probably will never get a girlfriend let along get married. And yet I feel a fear inside of me that if I ever do fall in love she's going to abandon me. Why? Because that's the trend I experience, whenever a teacher at work decides to stop talking to me. Or whenever a woman on the internet decides to ghost me. For reasons, that I can only offer guesses on why??? Haven't I been nice to you? Haven't I listened to you? Haven't I talked to you? Haven't I been honest with you? So, really? What am I missing here? :unsure: So some guys will say, You got to be more romantic. That's easier said then done. If it's at work, you'd better be careful. If it's online, that's pretty hard... I get stuck either way.
Look, having a girlfriend or wife could be a great thing or it could be a literal disaster...depending upon the woman. Of course, I'm not giving men any sort of free pass here, either. There are A LOT of horrible men out there who treat women wrongly, so it's definitely not a one-way street.

Anyhow, being with a woman definitely isn't a cure all.

That's all that I'll say on that.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
113
P.S.

I'll add this because of what type of forum I'm posting on.

Throughout my ordeal, the most wicked people imaginable were the professing "Christians".

My ex slandered me to multiple pastors, whole congregations (plural) of church-goers, "Christian" counselors, and just plain, ordinary professing "Christians"...and they all believed her. They went to tremendous lengths to help her while shunning and detesting me like I was a pile of :poop:.

Anyhow, I added this simply for the truth's sake.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
113
One more post before I head off to work.

Where I'm presently at in relation to women is summed up pretty well in the lyrics of this song that I used to listen to in my youth.


Basically, don't waste your time trying to fool because this isn't my first rodeo, and my eyes are wide open now.

Anyhow, have a blessed day in the Lord, everyone.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
thats terrible
why would she even do that @Live4Him3 ?

was she trying to get money or what. You dont have to answer if too painful to rehash.
I just wondered what her motive was, and if shes now leaching or living off someone else..whether guy or gal or what.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
i recall this one girl I knew LIED to the police about her boyfriend hitting her so he could be arrested or put in jail

she kept complaining about her boyfriend but it turns out she wouldnt leave him because SHE wanted to keep the house they bought together. I think she got most of the money from her parents, he had a job but she didnt, or when she did have one she complained a whole heap about having to work

I was like hello. This is what you do in this country. (NZ) she was from Iran. I think her bf was too.

If you dont like your boyfriend you break up and live by yourself but then its YOUR responsibility to pay for where you live. They werent married or had any children so they were not obligated to stay together.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,188
1,576
113
68
Brighton, MI
I never had girls be mean to me, but I treat everyone with kindness and respect execept bullies.
I was a Golden Gloves Boxer. When someone wanted to fight me, I invited them to meat me after school in the Gym to box. Those my size or larger, I just knocked out fast. Those smaller, I practed my dancing. After they were worn out, I would put my arm on their back and ask do you want me to hit you now. After that they would go the other way when they saw me. Girls would hang around me just to keep the bullies away. None dared be mean to girls when I was around. I also, made it clear to the bullies that I did not want to hear of them picking on anyone., Thus whatever school I was at bullying ceased to exist. At the Gun tolting school there was no bulling peroid.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
if you going to hit someone, do it with gloves in the boxing ring

I dont understand why a man would hit a woman otherwise. Shes not a punch bag.

Though you cant really stop a woman from talking...so not sure about how a man can get a woman to stay silent. Kissing her?
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
113
thats terrible
why would she even do that @Live4Him3 ?

was she trying to get money or what. You dont have to answer if too painful to rehash.
I just wondered what her motive was, and if shes now leaching or living off someone else..whether guy or gal or what.
I'll try to give you the shortest answer possible.

Initially, my ex truly was a Christian. I'm beyond certain of that for several reasons; none of which I'll name because I don't need to try to convince anybody of anything that both God and I know already, and I'm definitely not getting into any sort of argument about it. Anyhow, consequently, all of our friends were professing Christians because that's just who we fellowshipped with.

Well, when my ex got tired of Christianity (she came to hate Christ because of his personal dealings with her, and not because of anything I ever said or did to her or anybody else), she decided to use it to her advantage before walking away from it completely. In other words, she concocted the biggest lies imaginable about me, and then played herself as the poor, abused Christian to all of these people, while demonizing me, and they all fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. She exploited them for money and other favors until she was able to afford moving out on her own, and then she divorced me (after cheating on me several times and lying to our children while telling them that I was having an affair).

Interestingly enough, after she had taken everybody for a ride, she wrote letters to several of these professing Christians (I still have a copy of one of them) in which she basically admitted that she not only used all of them, but in which she also plainly admitted that I was the only man who ever truly loved her in her life. It was almost humorous as I was reading the letter because she was initially speaking of me in such glowing terms (a rare moment of honesty from her), and then it was as if she caught herself and ended by slandering me again.

Anyhow, she also used one of the "men" she met on a "sugar daddy" website (she was having sexual relations with men for money) who gave/lent her $200,000.00 dollars to start her own business. She was a 51% owner, and he was a 49% owner. She dumped him a while back, and bought out his share of the business.

There's obviously a lot more to the story than this, but that's the basic gist of it all.

And, no, it's no longer painful for me. It was an excruciating ordeal to go through for approximately 17 years, but I actually came out of that very fiery trial in much better shape than I was when I first entered it.

God's grace is sufficient.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
113
P.S.

I forgot to mention a very important detail...

She also wanted to take my children away from me completely because she didn't want me teaching them about God. With such being the case, her official story (read: slanderous lie) was that I was an abusive husband and a child abuser. In fact, the charges that she pressed against me were for "multiple accounts of domestic violence and child abuse". As I've said here before, when I had my day in court, I won by a landslide because nothing could be further from the truth.

Incidentally, I was just in her home and chatting with her about an hour ago...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,285
9,333
113
Do you really think it's learned or just the sin nature that people act this way?
Quote from a parent:

"All prejudices are learned, not innate. My daughter is two years old. Know what she hates? Nap time. End of list."
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
Quote from a parent:

"All prejudices are learned, not innate. My daughter is two years old. Know what she hates? Nap time. End of list."
That's debatable. Your daughter is too young to think for herself. Most people can't remember anything until they reach like 5 or 6 years old.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
Psalm 51:4-6
4
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
113
That's debatable, also your daughter is too young to think for herself. Most people can't remember anything until they reach like 5 or 6 years old.
Your question/point about the "sin nature" reminds me of the following which you may have already heard in some form or fashion:

One day, a scorpion asked a frog for a ride across the pond on his back.

The frog replied, "I'll give you a ride across the pond on my back under one condition...that you promise not to sting me."

The scorpion replied, "I promise not to sting you."

The scorpion then proceeded to get upon the frog's back, and the frog carried him across the pond. As soon as they reached the other side of the pond, the scorpion stung the frog.

As the frog lay there dying, he asked the scorpion, "Why did you sting me when you promised me that you wouldn't?"

The scorpion replied, "I'm a scorpion...it's my nature to sting."

Unregenerate man definitely has a fallen nature.

The Apostle Paul put it this way while writing to those who had become saints at Ephesus:

Ephesians chapter 2

[1] And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;
[2] Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
[3] Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.

Prior to their conversions, these Ephesians all walked in time past according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air or Satan, the spirit that now works in the children of disobedience, and they were all BY NATURE the children of wrath.

This fallen nature is precisely why we all need to be "born again", spiritually speaking.

Anyhow, people do horrible things because of their nature.

You'll know a tree by its fruit, and not by what it professes to be.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
P.S.

I forgot to mention a very important detail...

She also wanted to take my children away from me completely because she didn't want me teaching them about God. With such being the case, her official story (read: slanderous lie) was that I was an abusive husband and a child abuser. In fact, the charges that she pressed against me were for "multiple accounts of domestic violence and child abuse". As I've said here before, when I had my day in court, I won by a landslide because nothing could be further from the truth.

Incidentally, I was just in her home and chatting with her about an hour ago...
huh ok

so it was money.
sugar daddies supply money. Is she now owner of a business and making money? Wonder why she didnt just go to instant finance and get a loan...which she'll then spend years paying back with compound interest...but thats what happens if you want money instantly.

some women marry for money obviously. If its not enough they will bolt. I am not sure how anyone can get tired of christianity, like get tired of believing.

Maybe the going to church part, but thats not all Christianity is. Those that wait on the Lord and renew their faith will not grow weary or faint.

was the church you belonged to one of those name it and claim it types, with health and wealth gospel, promising money and cures. Because a lot of professed christians go to those, not for Jesus but so they can get money and not have to care for others. Of course people can believe in that 'faith is a force' message but thats actually not the gospel.