Sounds to me like your spirit is wanting to be challenged? With a heavy dose of Gods Word with out all the modern trappings. They are around, might not be the kind or denomination you are used to.. Teaching of His Word in , maybe a bit more of an intellectual framing then the good ol boy slap on the back kind... Mayne something down the reform line yeah but they have goofies also .
I can rationalize the worthiness of each cause but the emotions often do not fit the rationality. For example, my job pays my bills, feeds my family, etc but I often get the feeling of imprisonment. It would be nice to not get drained of energy and battle chronic pain throughout the week and then have the energy to get involved in ministry like I want to.
You try to bring the gospel to the job but so often it feels like it goes on deaf ears. At the end of the day it is still business and we all are replaceable.
But I'm seeing something maybe changing in a few years. Wife going to school to be a RN nurse which is a 2 year degree. I could claim the early retirement at 15 years (full retirement is at 20) I wont see it until my 60s though. It wouldn't be much but then I could transition into ministry where I can put more of my time, energy and focus.