Do You Have a Hard Time Keeping Up with Your Younger Friends and Relatives? How Do You Adjust?

Hey Everyone,

One of the interesting shifts I've seen here in the Singles Forum over time is that back when I first joined (2009,) the general age range of participants seemed to be early 20's to late 30's, with a few 40's and up. These days, it seems like the peer group has grown to the late 20's right on through the 50's and above.

A while back, there was some discussion amongst a few members in the threads that they are used to hanging out with peers or family members who are much younger than they are, and this got me wondering if they are finding the same complications that I find myself having.

Throughout my life, people have told me I look young, and mostly like because of that, I've almost always had friends who were 10-15+ years younger than me. I guess that they find me relatable because I'm also single and don't have kids, so I often find myself in conversations with younger people about finding God's purpose in life and whether or not one will ever marry and/or have families.

Now I know a lot of people will say that they may be of a certain age, but they can keep up with the best of their younger counterparts no problem and with no sweat.

I am not one of those people. And am getting to a point where I have to readily admit it! Now I certainly can't complain about my lot in life, but it's the little things that I've been forced to notice in the past few years.

A few years ago, a CC friend whom I'll call Becky came to visit me and my family was very excited to take her to a several places we knew she would really love. She was bursting with energy and excitement, literally doing cartwheels across my living room floor. Needless to say, it was a very high-energy week. I absolutely loved visiting with her, but after she went home, I was also completely drained, and yes, feeling more than a bit like "an old lady." When I told my Mom about this, she had to remind me, "Well honey, you have to take into account that Becky is 14 years younger than you are."

Silly me, I had never even thought about this. I just expected that when she was here, my excitement and energy levels would be in sync with hers and I would be just fine! But obviously, I wasn't, lol.

And I guess that's part of the price to be paid for hanging around younger and/or people with very different energy levels or interests than yourself.

I'm not exactly an invalid, lol -- last year I went to a major theme park with a friend -- I got up at 5:30, we got there an hour before they opened (to beat some of the crowds,) and we were there until they closed at 9 PM. But I was disappointed that in the middle of the day, I had to ask my friend (who is 16 years younger) if we could just sit for a while, and I didn't move for about 3 hours, and at the end of the day, I could feel my whole being going KAPUT.

Just 8 years ago, I would go by myself, and couldn't handle being up at 3:30 AM, then be at the park and on the move all day while not getting home until almost 2 in the morning. And I was disappointed in myself that I still didn't have that same kind of energy and stamina.

But I am (begrudgingly) learning now that I have to warn my friends that I need to plan for rest periods in between bouts of big adventure, such as alternating rest days in between. I don't want to disappoint them, and I hope it won't stop them from wanting to hang out with me, but I'm slowly accepting that time definitely has definitely had an effect.

How about the rest of you? Even if you don't have younger peers, what about family or co-workers? For example, how do you keep up with younger relatives, such as nieces and nephews? Does your boss expect you to keep up with your younger counterparts?

* Do you have to explain to them that you have to take it a little easier than they do? How do they react?

* Are you afraid of seeming weak or old to them? How do you cope or adjust to their expectations? Are they willing to be flexible for you?

* Has the age difference/energy or mobility issues affected your time together? Do they tend to spend less time with you because of it, or have you found other (perhaps lower key) ways of spending quality time together?

As God brings me further along the journey of life and its changes, I would really love to hear how my fellow Christians are managing the same kinds of challenges.

I'm 44 but I seem to still be going strong.

I'll be watching this thread to know what to expect in the next few years.

My younger friends are maybe around 10-17 years behind me but i don't think they treat me any differently from the others. They understand that im older and more experienced in things, and i know that with them pretty much everything is still new shiny and glistening. With them sometimes i feel like an old dog who is watching his puppy friends who still get excited over simple things like sticks. Im like yes its fun to chew on twigs but i'll let you guys go on and have fun, i don't feel like tearing up the roof of my mouth or making my gums bleed with all of that. Puppy minded friends tend think short term.

Still going strong, still climbing trees for your nap... Still not letting me give you that caracal hairline cut, cmon lynx its 2022 make the lynx to caracal transition, you know you want to lol.

There is the young adults forum on CC and teens and I dont post in there so I must be old lol

But then I came to faith in my 30s so, maybe I wasnt mature enough to handle it before then. However I work with 5-11 year olds. I dont feel I need to 'keep up' with them they are very much going through life day to day, even minute to minute some of them.

when im with older people though I get annoyed or maybe frustrated that they might talk about stuff that ive not experienced, and assume I have lived through the same (no, I dont remember Vietnam, or the 1950/ and no, I dont love Elvis or whatver pop star) but otherwise its just one of those things of being born too late.

This is why I think being with someone ten or more years older wouldnt be good for me as they are always gonna pull rank on something haha

children have short attention spans so if its not right in front of them they might miss it is what ive learned, you have to engage them or they are off with the fairies

however I understand that because Im someone who gets bored easily and also tires easily.

I'm 31 but I'm the opposite with hanging out. I hang out with people 10 to 25 years older than me. They are more interesting to talk and learn from. But our energy levels even out because for me Chronic pain slows me down.

"Puppy minded friends" as a description of people who think in the short term as though they were very young with no experience... is a concept I am promptly stealing.

strategy for theme parks

Go when theres less traffic but at a reasonable time like 10:30 am
make sure you have time for lunch, children get whiny, you will get hungry if you dont stop and rest

allow yourself 1-2 hours walking round.

dont plan TOO much in one day. I think spending 9 hours at a theme park is WAAY too much.

when doing outings, alternate days, have rest days in between. Always stop for a meal. Nobody likes being hangry.

These are such good points, @G00WZ. It sounds like you do a good job of letting people learn on their own while still being mindful of the lessons you've learned (and might spare them from if they'd only listen.)

In reference to Lanolin's post, I try hard not to sound like that older person who's "pulling rank," as we all know how annoying it can be, but man, I sure am finding out why older people do so as I get older myself. It's so tempting to want to holler at a younger person and say, "NO!!! You're just going to cause yourself years of pain and grief by doing that!" but we all know we've done it ourselves, and might even still be caught in the same vicious cycle.

I feel blessed that most of my peers, even the younger ones, are frugal and financially conservative, but every now and then, I'll be talking with someone who wants the latest and greatest from whatever genre (clothes, techie gadgets, vehicles, etc.)

I know gas prices right now are affecting everyone, but I remember back in my hometown when gas once hit a low of 89 cents per gallon (they said that a gallon of gas was cheaper than a gallon of bottled water,) and then when it also hit a high of about $4.29 a gallon during another world crisis, so what we're going through right now isn't a complete shock.

One thing I learned was to only buy as much vehicle as I needed (though I know needs change over time,) and to hang on to it as long as I can.

I was trying to relay this to a younger friend who was contemplating upgrading their 2-year-old vehicle to the latest model, so I explained that yes, my car might not be very stylish and is 10 years old, but it's so freeing to not have a current car payment to worry about, and to not have to be totally on edge when gas prices explode.

But in the end, I guess we all have our own lessons that we all choose to learn in different ways.

I have to add a *DISCLAIMER* to my original post in that I was trying to say that I was extremely disappointed that I COULD be up 24 hours and running on all cylinders just a few years ago, but have found I can't really do that now (maybe if I time my insomnia just right, lol.)

I'm one of those nuts who insists she try to get her money's worth out of everything, so I'm the one waiting in line an hour before everything opens because I find that it really does help to beat the crowds (especially for the most popular rides,) and I'll try to stay until the very last minute they are open.

I've never had to take kids with me, so of course that would definitely change/slow down any course of action.

I'm also one of those annoying people (as the meetup participants unfortunately found out) who, at a museum, zoo, or aquarium, will want to read every info card, try out every tunnel and exhibit, and see all the coolest things (sharks, penguins, albino pythons!) -- at least twice or more, if people will let me.

Do you ever find that your older friends tell you things like, "Oh, you're still young, you should be able to handle" such-and-such?

Having been around older people for many years, I find that they sometimes either think I can't handle something because I'm younger (and therefore want to tell me how to do it, even though their situation was completely different,) or on the flip side, think I can handle everything because I'm a "youngster," lol.

The older I get, the more I am attracted to life experience in others -- but only when it's relayed in a considerate manner that doesn't talk down to either person or sounding like one knows it all -- and is a trait I hope I can learn and apply to myself as well.

Heh.

This reminds me of a sign seen at a baseball park.

HELP WANTED
Looking for a team player who makes every call perfect, never makes a mistake and always knows what the opposing team will do next. Unfortunately we can't get any of these people to put down their sodas and hot dogs and come down out of the stands.

Actually they all are very considerate and truly care about my problems. But it is probably because the people I fellowship with are often Christian and it often feels like discipleship even though they say they also get a lot out of meeting with me as well. Two men I meet with regularly are in their fifties.

There's an easy way to keep up with your friends...


Get older friends.

Then you run into old Hank's problem.

No one wants to get high on the town
Cause all my rowdy friends have settled down

oh no you are one of THOSE people!



well, ok I will just remember to pack plenty of sugar when Im out with you, provided sugar isnt illegal where you are

I dont try to keep up with anyone really...aside from when i pretend to be an extrovert.

I think for children of course they like new things
if they dont already have something
But this is where you need to teach them to value what they already have and look after it. Then it will last a long time

Whether its a gadget, clothes or car. I dont really know of people who always have to have the latest of everything unless they are rolling in dough!

some things have a shelf life though and you need to be aware of it, say for books, because things can date quickly. Its good to keep things fresh though because life does not stop when you turn 21 !

I've had the thing where older people say oh your still young or your only a baby, which is actually a bit patronising sometimes, but then you can rag older people by saying oh you are so OLD which I made the mistake of doing once and they got very huffy about that.