Shaky Faith

I have been a bit concerned about my faith in Christ. I guess in a round about way, I've been expressing this... It seems like some people think that all you need is Jesus. Why have anyone else in your life because people are flawed and let you down. But it seems to me that God created the Church for a reason. And part of that reason is so that we can support one another. I've been trying to be a Christian all on my own. The only human support I get is a little from my parents. But I'm jealous of people who have Christian friends, that can help support them through life.

As far as my faith is concerned. I find that it does a lot of dipping around. I try to keep it strong by getting into the word, the best I can. Also I try to keep it strong by praying. Praying comes especially hard for me. I don't know why. But I also have a problem with cursing. I don't curse at people so that they can hear me. But I do find myself cursing when I'm upset at people. I really wish this part of me wasn't happening. I don't like my dark side. I wish I could get rid of it. What is even worse is when I find myself cursing at God because He's not doing what I want him to be doing. I'm ashamed of myself for this. And yet it is true that God isn't doing what I wish He would do for me. I don't really want to make up theories on why this is. Some people believe that God doesn't answer prayers if you don't repent of your sin. I'm not sure that I completely agree with that. If that were true, then He should never answer anyone's prayers, because we all sin from time to time. I don't know of anyone who is a hundred percent sin free. And anyone who claims to be a hundred percent sin free, is not a humble person. But I know that there are some Christian groups out there, who believe that person can be a hundred percent sin free because they have the holy spirit. Anyways I only mention this stuff because I don't want to get into all of this stuff!

You probably wonder if I confess to God in my prayers. As a matter of fact, most of my prayers are me confessing and complaining. That is what really bothers me about my personal prayers. Maybe God is trying to teach me something, but if He is, I got no idea what...

I guess what I want you to do is just pray for me. Ask God to do a special work in my heart, mind, and feelings. If you want to pray that I find a good Church, that would be nice too!

Give up your complaints, try to date a girl, keep trying until you are completely defeated by reality, or you are satisfied, but in the end, God takes the bottom for you.

We are here to support one another in Christ.
I understand how you feel, I have some of these similar feelings and doubts occasionally. We all do and we would not be human if we didn’t time to time.
Just like sounds, perceptions, feelings, and ideas, thoughts are nothing but passing clouds and we are not our thoughts. It is your actions that define who you are more than your thoughts.
Cursing is born of disappointment and frustration, so I would not worry as long as the words stay silent and don’t harm others.
The thing to remember is to surrender yourself and your thoughts completely to God the Father. There's nothing impossible for him. When in prayer ask for his abundant grace and love to change you, culture your mind and soothe your troubled thoughts. When you have a troubling thought give it to Him, ask for his help. Believe me, he is listening to your prayers.

I will pray with you:

Dear God, please give us strength when we are weak, love when we feel forsaken, courage when we are afraid, wisdom when we feel foolish, comfort when we are alone, hope when we feel rejected and peace when we are in turmoil.
Amen.

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
—Matthew 18:15

Romans 5:8

Colossians 2:13-14

From Isaiah 66:1-2

I will pray to our Father, in the name of Jesus, that your faith will be strengthened every day and that you will be better able to withstand the attacks by our mutual enemy. I stand with you today, also.

Currently the only girl I know of that I could try asking out, I haven't even seen in days. May not even see her again until next school year. We all have 2 months off of work, and I can't call, text, or even email her. I am thinking about joining the local model airplane club. I don't need it for a flying site, I have my own. But It might give me some people to go talk too.

One of the reasons I logged in is because I'm not feeling well. But it's 2:34 in the morning and I should be in bed.