just some random thought and questions

I used to be so terrified of dying when i was a kid i remember watching this movie of a kid passing away around my age at that time i would have been maybe 10 (touched by an angel episode) back in the 1990a there and i remember just being terrified and my mom trying to explain that my body and soul separate and then ill receive a new perfect body but also i realized later on her theology from what church's she went to were different too and i just remember like thinking at that time why do we die which i know why now but also i couldn't fathom living forever and ever, as i got older the worse it seemed to become until i got saved and then everything seems its not half as bad now that I understand following and believing in Jesus

I had panic attacks and sometimes still doo on this where il wake up out of a sleep or if i think about dying too much and i just get really scared but when I pray about it and talk to God I feel peace so Its something I have to trust God on to help me through it part of it is and im trying to make as much sense as i can and i understand we really don't know some true answers until we meet Jesus and he lets us know what's going to happen i just wanted your thoughts on do you believe that we will recognize loved ones and also spend time together will that matter anymore will we know them like we do now for example will i know my kids , my husband ? will i spend time with them and get to see my family that are saved and if there is no sadness anymore will I notice the ones who didn't make it . I may be and pretty much am sure I'm overthinking this a bit its just thoughts I've always wondered and i know there's some answers only Jesus can answer I guess I just wanted to know what you all thought

i also understand from what i read that there is no marriage after we begin our eternal life and kind of am learning to understand that i just get thinking like if i will know my kids and my husband will how will i not be able to look at the way i do with my husband or will we just be real great friends lol i know no-one can really answer that for me i just want your thoughts and have you ever felt like this? and if not or so why?

I also wanted to know this too I've read a bit about it but don't get or understand it i feel like I'm missing on the interpretation of what this means but I've heard believers are all the body of Christ which i Understand that pretty good but when people say about us being the bride of Christ Ive tried to read into this not very much thats probably why i feel this is a silly question but like what does that mean to be the brides of Christ i may be totally off here and that not even be a thing but i am sure i read about this somewhat if anyone has an answer for me id love to learn more on that , i understand maybe many will have different views on this its just stuff i always thought about , i know this and believe this tho but when my dad passed away from cancer back in 2008 and I truly believe he went to be with Jesus I remember the panic and fear of seeing him being laid to rest just right after he passed and when i entered the room I felt that panic and fear leave and this peace came over me like God was saying hes okay and ill never forget there was chaos going around me but i was looking at him and he didn't look sick anymore he looked just peace is how i can describe it i remember him asking me 2 nights prior he told me he had to leave and believed he would be okay he asked me if I was scared of losing him and i said dad i don't want you to leave but if your in this much pain and God needs you back i understand and i wasn't a Christian at that time but i saw it in his eyes the humbleness and peace and he said the most gentle thing he said just keeping loving show people no matter what , and he said don't get all wrapped up in the world he said just love your family and others and he love God and put him first and that was the last convo i ever had with him and it didn't hit me until years later so i believe yes of course we will be token care of we will praise and worship God like never before be in his presence and glory and it will no doubt be amazing!

i just wanted your thoughts and insights on this , thanks for reading have a blessed day

I grew up in a neighborhood where one herd gun shots daily.

so sorry to you had to go through that

People called me "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" When the rocky movies came out that became my nickname.

well thats a but random thought but today I watched a funeral and Im supposing that all the people whove been in my life that have touched me or I have touched in some way wont be forgotten, it will be like a big reunion in the afterlife...thats what I think heaven will be like.

Jesus will be there because He made it all possible.

Great another family reunion I need to dress up for.

Isaiah 25:6
On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear.

I think we who are believers will be dressed then after this life however we need to be, we still will always have righteousness of Christ on. Bodily death is not something to fear anymore. However I still don't want to die. For me, there are things to live for. So much should yet be accomplished, and there are things that will only come through me, that God must have me here for. So I should not come to being departed when things are not accomplished yet, even though there will be greater pleasure for us in Heaven when we go than there is with anything here, and no more hurt or sorrow for any there, and no exception for any creature. With assurance of that death is not something to fear, anyway.