Nothing but the best....

Yep....it's so very sad 😔

Call me a grinch if you like, but it seems like at times that we live in an 'un-reality TV' world, where everything is about sensationalism, me too me too me too, and look at me look at me look at me! IMO true dignity and quality intimacy seems to have left the building. I don't get it. Maybe I'm just being old and grumpy 😕

I think you're right on -- about the sensationalism It's ridiculous.

Look... the man has to make an effort. But, he also ought to know the woman he's proposing to and what she'll find meaningful.

I honestly never understood why it's tradition that the man needs to spend all this money on a big huge ring and make it into some huge public event. To each their own... Whatever each couple decides on together is great. I was in a store today and saw some beautiful rings for about $30. Yeah, I realize they might turn your finger green, but they sure were pretty.

For my own self, I would always have to find a way to make it even if possible.

I recently had a discussion about all of this with a guy friend, as he was asking me what I felt was acceptable to spend on an engagement ring, etc. I told him that I knew whatever I asked a guy to spend on a ring, I'd have to save up the same amount myself in order to buy him a gift of approximately equal value.

For instance, the friend I was talking to about it has his eye on an Apple watch and an IPad, and I told him, wouldn't you feel at least slightly resentful if, whenever you looked at that huge honking ring on her finger, would have to think, "She's basically wearing my Apple watch and IPad right on her hand."

I know here in Singles we've had all kinds of talks about whether or not women should be traditional housewives and not work, but for me, I would always have to have my own source of income for as long as possible, precisely for situations just like this.

I'm a firm believer in, "If he's going to make such a colossal effort for me, I have to find some equivalent to show I appreciate him and his efforts just as much."

But these are just my own beliefs, born out of a lifetime hearing men talk about how women take them to the cleaners.

Even with my "on-again, off-again grade school boyfriend," I was determined not to be one of those women.

And I'm not definitely not saying that women who believe in the tradition of a man spending a lot of money on a ring and proposal are automatically wrong, it's just that as with a lot of things in life, I just have a different outlook.

Look... I'm a bit old-fashioned, and I don't see anything wrong with the man putting in some effort. But if his wife is going to rip what he did for her ten years down the line because it wasn't of sufficient production value, eh, gotta draw a line there.

All being said, I'd spend a few grand on an engagement diamond. I'd want her to have a little something to brag about to her friends at work.

I don't want to divert from the OP's post, and the essence of that and Pip's chagrin, but it seems like expensive rings are more about outward show and materialism, than prudent expenditure. I'd rather ask my honey-to-be if she wouldn't mind us dispensing with them except for us giving a modest wedding ring to each other, and focus more on our commitment to each other and making sure our marriage succeeds. I suspect we would have already come to that conclusion anyway, without anything or much being said. The quality or expense of a ring has little to do with marriage, but the quality and integrity of the heart, and ongoing commitment to our God and to each other, does. There are heaps of pawn shops and jewellers with rings that have been turned in for a 'refund' by disgruntled ex spouses, that should tell us where the real power of marriage is... is it sourced from outward appearances, or inwardly from a pure and loyal heart.

Here I was thinking if you gave out your phone number, and the guy gave you a ring, then you were as good as engaged, especially if someone else tried to call you, and they got an engaged signal.

In Pacific islands its just a flower over your left ear. Or was it right.

I dont get the whole western 'diamonds' or gold band thing. I think its like bribery really. You want me, you need to buy me.

Of course, if it doesnt work out you can sell your ring.

Really depends. I wanted my late wife to be able to proudly display her ring to her friends and co-workers. It was about her, and I wanted others to know she was important to me.

I understand where you are coming from, it's important to us that our wives realise how much we appreciate them. But expensive adornments don't personally cut it with me. I'm not into bragging about anything, and because I'm extra careful about who I associate with, I suspect my wife would be the same. She would know that she was extra special to me, and that I'd put myself in between her and danger. I don't think she will need a theatrical proposal or an expensive ring from me to realise how much she means to me, I certainly wouldn't want it from her. A telling smile and a heartfelt hug would do it for me. And as far as her friends or co-workers were concerned, I would expect them all to treat her fairly and with respect, as they should do to others too, and no doubt she would do so to them irrespective of how they approach her. If anyone imparts esteem because of external glitter, what would be their attitude towards those who can't afford any glitter, they're the kind of friends I wouldn't want. 🙂

HA! A lot of guys WISH it was that easy!

I've always dreamed someone would love me enough to just shout it out to the world, but no, i wouldn't care where he proposed. I just care that he loves me.

I cannot get that song out of my head now.

Me neither…and I’m not so sure that “Redneck Woman” is the best name for that song…🤔

I only have the first four lines memorized, so I'm just hearing those over and over.

what about sky writing

Not 'surrender dorothy' but 'will you marry me dorothy'
Of course Dorothy has to know whos writing it, she actually might have many suitors and wonder which one it is.

He could pay extra and have the plane write p.s. its Bob the scarecrow

I understand completely. As for me, I wanted her to have that extra little pleasure in her life. She deserved it.

oh! so this is where it came from
I was driving along today humming that song and couldn't figure out where it recently got stuck in my head from

This I find curious. I have never been on the PAC side of the world my unit our area of operations was South America to the Mid East as I was on the LANT side of the world. So there was some overlap between the two and shared responsibilities and operations.

So many of the ops were also joint ops with fellow Anglo nations with the Anglo nations being the UK, US, Canada, OZ, and NZ. Of course so named the Anglo nations because of our shared history with the UK and their history of the Angles and Saxons.

So I always found that all of us had a shared western line of thought when it came to customs, governance, military doctrine and so forth. So am just curious how you are using "the whole western" wording cause like I said never got to that side of the world but did run ops with fellow servicemen from the other 4 Anglo nations.

So I am just curious if ya don't mind expounding some cause just makes me curious as again never got to experience that side of the world and some of the first hand customs that would have been part of that experience.

You are a wise practical lady, Seoulsearch. You know your psychology... if a guy proposes with a 'temp' ring that's a traditional diamond of medium expense, that he can take back to the 'store', with the intention of asking her what she really wants, regarding a ring on a permanent basis, after the proposal... would the vast majority of women get 'counterproductively' emotionally attached or feel obligated to that specific ring? And if so, is that a minor consideration compared to the possible negativity of proposing without a ring?