We've all messed up. Those who can't admit it, most of all perhaps! We have to admit our sins to even come to know Christ as Savior.
Life can be rough. If you're going in the wrong direction... get out of the driver's seat and let God take over driving.
That sounds like a cliche but a lot of cliches are true. If you want to change, get closer to God and He will definitely change you. God bless, brother, and welcome!