Signs You're Single

This is just for fun.

What are some signs which show you're single?

I'll go first.

I ordered Chinese food after a really stressful week at work. The Chinese food came to my door and in it were 4 sets of silverware and 20 napkins. They thought they were feeding a family, while in fact, it was just me.

:x

Reckon I am the typical or the generalization for single guys. 14 years ago when my ex and I divorced, she just wanted gone. So she made no claims and she let the court know I could have the house, the kids, and the dogs. So for 14 years I have been hearing from my mother, sisters, Aunts, nieces, and my friends wives.

That ya sure can tell I am single cause have no pictures on the walls. As well as for 14 years they shake their heads cause my drapes don't match my furniture. My furniture don't match my carpet. My silverware is a hodge podge of 4 different patterns. While I have all china type plates all my cups are plastic and do not match the dinnerware. With some of those plastic cups saying Taco Bell, McDonalds, Subway, and other fast food names on them.

For 14 years they have been letting me know I should get remarried. I am convinced they only do so cause they are all OCD and when they visit my home, that all the mismatch sets off their anxiety.......LOL

Signs that I'm single:

The other side of the bed is cold.

I find the keys... and the remote... where I left them.

I recognize every purchase on the credit card statement.

The gas tank is full.

I have to make my own sandwich.

Where I'm from if you want people to know you're single....

Then pop the hood of your car to check oil or whatever.

I live in the south so it's also a good way to meet guys.

As soon as a woman pops the hood of their car you are surrounded by men...lol

Many times I am the "third wheel".

I can visit my parents and make my own plans whenever I want.

People automatically assume I have a lot of free time (sometimes true, sometimes not).

Ordering one large pizza lasts four meals. In my case, I typically would not eat the pizza back to back so it lasts a week.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride!

I wear plaid flannel shirts and camouflage pants together... often in public.

It's actually kind of funny to see the disapproving look in my sister's eyes, hehe

This is funny but true.......

There are definitely things that have changed since meeting Mrs Gandy I have to shave my beard. This December was the first time in a very long time I actually grew a beard (and she liked it ) but I shaved it of before going back to work.

There are many other things but love is funny ol thing. You do what you have too

Sounds like me at breakfast.

You eat rubbish food but you are not overweight.
Pizza is the base of the food triangle.
You *own* the remote.
You would starve without a microwave.
(Males) get to where you want to go on time.

You give people befuddled looks when they say they can't or don't want to do things alone.
Cooking is something that only happens once a week and if it weren't for leftovers you'd starve.
You're adept at having a conversation with yourself or with something (pet, stuffed animal, houseplant) that doesn't answer back.
The passenger seat of your car is your easy access on the go storage space.
You've lost any distinction between women's work and men's work because if it's going to get done then its your work.

Signs that I'm single. Uh...no furniture?

YES! Ain't it great?!

I never think to appreciate it, but it really is handy.

I've been doing it wrong all these years...

I don't even watch TV. I do my own cooking. But I'm gaining weight. >.>

I do get to my destination on time though.

Drinking milk out of the carton in the same sweatpants you've worn for days now.

The biggest sign I am single comes every year at this very time. Uncle Sam requires that I check the single box on my tax forms so he can keep his hands a little longer on my wallet and take more than his fair share

On the not-so-bright side:

One sign I am single is, I am the default person to stay with Grandma in her declining years. She needs someone to be here 24/7 and since I'm a single guy I'm elected.

Not to complain, but I'm gonna complain: I can't even get a single flipping day free. I've been wanting for a WHILE now to pop down to Chattanooga on a day-trip to check out a McKay's (really big used book store) music selection. Everybody else in the family is always too busy.

I tip my hat that ya do that for your grandma bro. Full respect my brother.

I drive my car to work every morning in the winter...with only a peep hole in the windshield and can't see anything out of the back of it because I don't want to scrap the ice and I don't want to take time to warm it up.

Who cares anyhow because it's un-telling when I may have to ditch it? After it runs out of gas because I have no one to yell at me for forgetting to stop and fill it up regularly.

I also have plenty of shoes, purses, jewelry and things. Yet, it is un-telling how long I will have a place to store them because again I don't have any one to yell at me for not paying the bills...lol

jk

None of that is true. ***I promise (fingers crossed)***

Just thought some of the guys here might get a kick out of it

What? It's all good! These are my 2022 sweatpants!

Ahhhhh now it all makes sense. While you are pretending to ditch your car that is when you have the guys check the oil We are on to you and would so like to say that such antics would never work on any guy, cause we are like way perceptive. However, since I am in Christ now I have to put away lying so I can't say that.......LOL So I will use my right to remain silent and only further add I can neither deny nor confirm if your wiles will work.