Marriage again

I was married once and it turned out bad at first and then got better and lastly ended badly. I don't think I want to put myself thru that again. Any advice?

I would go with your first instinct. I would say though that if you are considering a future marriage that you pray for guidance. My first marriage years ago lasted 6 1/2 years and was horrific. I was single and celibate for 18 years before remarrying. In the end, loneliness got to me.

If you don't want to get married again, stay single. Also do everything you can to become a well rounded person since you don't have someone else's strengths to fall back on and complement your weak points.

If you really would like to be married, get involved in volunteering esp at a church or join other church functions. Pray, as has been advised, and be patient and see what happens. Mk 11:23-24 is a powerful tool to utilize. God bless!

Get yourself, neutered, Devin. It'll be a lot less painful! Lol

I was married at 17 and divorced at 24. Then had a 35 year life of being a single and got remarried at 59. I was a much better person and a better wife at 59 than I ever was at 17-24. Sometimes a little intermission is a good thing.

It's up to you to decide what you want to do and pray for guidance from God as He will never put you on the wrong path.

On February 1st, it'll be 18 years for me and I'm getting really lonely! Perhaps I should get neutered! Maybe Devin and I can find a two-for-one sale. "Hey, Devin, have you heard anything about Truman?" Devin..."Yeah, we just got neutered together!" Lol

You need to know why your marriage failed. Very often, it is pride and unforgiveness. Even the world recognises that. I suggest that you listen to Mark Gungor before getting into another relationship. He is perceptive and extremely funny as well.

Thanks that's good advice.

It failed from a series of unfortunate events. The problem I have with getting re-married is the way I handled the divorce. I was destroyed by it.

How long ago was this? I don't blame you for speaking in generics on a public internet forum, but if "a series of unfortunate events" is what you tell yourself as well; it may well be feeding into your fears about facing marriage again because if things are due to luck and fortune then there's nothing you can do to improve your chances of the next marriage going better.

So is your goal to find people who will tell you its ok to stay single if you don't want to marry again, or is your goal to find people who can understand and help you think through your concerns and fears so that you find the courage to attempt another marriage? (Or feel free to create your own third option)

I'm not sure.

I can understand that. My ex did a runner shortly after the separation. I did not see my children for 15 years. God had cleansed my heart from all unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment by that time. I found them by a miracle. When I saw my ex again, it was emotionally neutral, as if she was just an acquaintance that bumped into. I rarely see them as they live a long way off.

I have not remarried. It does not bother me. I have a lady friend. I'd marry her if she would accept, but that's not likely any time soon. We are the best of friends and I've known her since 1983.

One important step in the healing process is to forgive yourself. The blood of Christ has paid for your part in the bust up. So God has forgiven you. Let Him help you to forgive yourself as well as others who have hurt you. I had a list. My ex, of course, and the people I thought of as friends and brethren. Some of the reactions were just salt in the wounds.

You will find help in this article. It's quite long, but the principles saved me much sorrow and grief in my situation.

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart

That's okay too. As several have said, it's fine to be single for a while even if you do end up getting married again in a decade or two.

well if that person died in the end...you cant remarry them...
But you could marry someone else.
Otherwise, the only real option is to forgive them. Dont die bitter or ruin your next marriage by saying well my first marriage was aboslutely horrible can you do it better?

I just think when people are young they tend to do stupid things they arent really ready for, including getting married.

Thanks for all the good advice, this helps!

That's hilarious!

Lynx didn't find it very funny! Lol

Well, maybe you will have to apologize to him? I don't know, sometimes jokes aren't to funny depending on the subject.

I thought it was funny, but that's just my opinion.

Maybe he's feeling sorry for me...I know I did for a long time! Lol