Friends forum

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#1
Just a suggestion...
Change the 'singles' forum to 'friends' forum

Because married people post on singles too, and thats just to chat and make friends. Plus singles prefer to make friends rather than advertise the fact they are single and then get pounced on or harassed by others desperate to find their life partner.

Also it will cut down on the 'woe is me I am single' posts.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
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#2
If a single person contacts another single person who they are interested in, thats not harrassment or being pounced upon. It only becomes so if the person is being rude or if you have made it clear to the person that you are not intetested in them and they continue contacting you.

Im not sure if i understand what you mean by advertising. But nothing is wrong with "advertising" that you are single. It only becomes a problem when you are desperate and excessively complain about it, or you are giving the impression that you are easy/promiscuous.

I don't recall seeing a lot of "woe is me im single" post. But if someone is feeling depressed or struggling with their single life, there is nothing wrong in asking for help or prayers.

The family forum is there, i guess that can be seen as a friends forum. But then, isnt this site in its entirety about friendship and fellowship?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,100
3,197
113
#3
If a single person contacts another single person who they are interested in, thats not harrassment or being pounced upon. It only becomes so if the person is being rude or if you have made it clear to the person that you are not intetested in them and they continue contacting you.

Im not sure if i understand what you mean by advertising. But nothing is wrong with "advertising" that you are single. It only becomes a problem when you are desperate and excessively complain about it, or you are giving the impression that you are easy/promiscuous.

I don't recall seeing a lot of "woe is me im single" post. But if someone is feeling depressed or struggling with their single life, there is nothing wrong in asking for help or prayers.

The family forum is there, i guess that can be seen as a friends forum. But then, isnt this site in its entirety about friendship and fellowship?
I believe the advertising is in reference to the Singles forum not really meant to be a dating area. But we see people join the site with only the interest to find a spouse.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
429
347
63
#4
I believe the advertising is in reference to the Singles forum not really meant to be a dating area. But we see people join the site with only the interest to find a spouse.
Ok I see what you mean there.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#5
mm I am thinking of quit posting in the singles forum and just leaving it to people who have problems being single or want to hassle other singles.

Maybe I just post in the miscellaneous forum instead... though it would be just nice to have a friends forum. I dont suppose its in the powers that be just to change the name of it?
 
Jan 5, 2022
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"A higher plane," hehe
www.youtube.com
#6
I like the suggestion. There's a lot of stuff in the Singles area that has nothing to do with being single anyways, like the games threads.

Disappointingly there has been no... um, "pouncing" one way or another in my case, but admittedly a web forum is not the best place to meet one's sole mate anyways. ;)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#7
I just post in it cos theres no other forum that is suitable, I would try to post topics suitable for singles but it gets boring after a while to focus solely on being single, talk about navel gazing! Plus many people there arent even single.

Then I thought maybe to move all my threads to 'miscellaneous' but it's . a bit late now. lol

Miscellaneous is a big word though and not something christians seem good at it tends to attract the odd bods...and people who arent even christian, like every other forum is labelled Christian except for that one!
 
Jan 5, 2022
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"A higher plane," hehe
www.youtube.com
#8
I just post in it cos theres no other forum that is suitable, I would try to post topics suitable for singles but it gets boring after a while to focus solely on being single, talk about navel gazing! Plus many people there arent even single.

Then I thought maybe to move all my threads to 'miscellaneous' but it's . a bit late now. lol

Miscellaneous is a big word though and not something christians seem good at it tends to attract the odd bods...and people who arent even christian, like every other forum is labelled Christian except for that one!
Lol, now that I think about it... maybe "Friend Zone" is not such a great name either as it will chase away the seeking singles!! :D

Maybe something with the word "Casual" in the name? "Casual Forum", "Casual Zone", "Casual Corner"?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#9
Lol, now that I think about it... maybe "Friend Zone" is not such a great name either as it will chase away the seeking singles!! :D

Maybe something with the word "Casual" in the name? "Casual Forum", "Casual Zone", "Casual Corner"?
no that is kinda the point lol
I dont like the name casual I mean what is that. Casual to me just means 'whatever' like people dont care.

Friends is definitely a Christian thing...Jesus called his disciples friends. Jesus is a friend.
Jesus doesnt mind if you are single or married...or have had five husbands.... its not important to him at all.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#10
I tried 'comfort zone' but people didnt take to that lol

I think in churches everythign is so geared towards married couples that singles miss out so its kinda nice to have a dedicated singles forum BUT if its just designed as a dating pool its kind of a drag or maybe it was just me seeing several 'I hate being single' type posts and that was all they could talk about, and then at the same time being what people call 'on the prowl' ...if you female and they are male and vice versa you will be targeted

they tend to come in threes and its just too much negativity and not encouraging at all...but then I supoose thats why I am there to give advice and not make anyone feel bad about being single, its usually the newbies that do that.

Other forums had just called theirs the christian advice forum ....but that included everyone no matter what your status or gender was...so it was a bit more general

I post in family forum too because its being single doesnt mean you dont have a family
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#11
actually I do recall on one forum when I was new and asked if Jesus ever dated and some very conservative believers said absolutely not and were horrifed that I would even ask such a question, but I didnt know

and so now when I see that its christians wanting to date I find that curious because the Bible if single says not to seek a partner , or if married not to leave it

be content with what you already have, if single your freedom, if married your bondage lol

but they could be new christians who havent yet learned, well a broken heart is learning the hard way I guess, though God wont turn them away

so maybe just keep repeating that message ad nauseum till its sunk in (I would find it hypocritical if I asked a pastor for advice and he was single, and then said well the solution is .....to marry me. )
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,469
836
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#12
Just a suggestion...
Change the 'singles' forum to 'friends' forum

Because married people post on singles too, and thats just to chat and make friends. Plus singles prefer to make friends rather than advertise the fact they are single and then get pounced on or harassed by others desperate to find their life partner.

Also it will cut down on the 'woe is me I am single' posts.
Wisdom is justified of her children remember, the singles forum idealy is for single people, for people who want successful relationships it is a good idea to seek wisdom from someone who is successfully married for wisdom, guidance or advice.

Same with the family forum it's ok for singles to post about family matters as it may help married couples make better decisions with their children.

No one is perfect, and the only way to make good decisions is seek wisdom counsel and advice. You shouldn't let the specific designation of a group or forum become a law, it's a guideline, and yes people outside the specific group can contribute ideas and advice on topics and issues to help their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#13
who says singles dont have successful relationships.

didnt Jesus have successful relationships with most everyone he met because he made friends.

I think people have to get over the whole 'all single christians must get married' thing.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,469
836
113
#14
who says singles dont have successful relationships.

didnt Jesus have successful relationships with most everyone he met because he made friends.

I think people have to get over the whole 'all single christians must get married' thing.
True, yes he did, true, if your happy being single than it's fine. I hate being single. I abhor it as much as God abhors liars
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#15
True, yes he did, true, if your happy being single than it's fine. I hate being single. I abhor it as much as God abhors liars
but arent you going with someone whos in jail? Was that you, or was that someone else. Wouldnt that make you a couple, but separated. I dunno.

Im sure you can marry them if you really wanted to, it doesnt take much, just 2 witnesses and sign the marriage licence. Dont need a fancy wedding.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,469
836
113
#16
but arent you going with someone whos in jail? Was that you, or was that someone else. Wouldnt that make you a couple, but separated. I dunno.

Im sure you can marry them if you really wanted to, it doesnt take much, just 2 witnesses and sign the marriage licence. Dont need a fancy wedding.
Yes thats me, it would yes.
No legally a seperated couple is one no longer living together but still married and not legally divorsed.

I think she wants to wait and have some face to face meetings or in person meetings before taking that step.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#17
Yes thats me, it would yes.
No legally a seperated couple is one no longer living together but still married and not legally divorsed.

I think she wants to wait and have some face to face meetings or in person meetings before taking that step.
well go visit.
shes not going anywhere. You have to go to her.

Sorry, I dont really have much patience for peeps that complain about their situation yet do nothing about it when they can.

eg people that complain about being single all the time when they actually already have a sweetheart.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,469
836
113
#18
well go visit.
shes not going anywhere. You have to go to her.

Sorry, I dont really have much patience for peeps that complain about their situation yet do nothing about it when they can.

eg people that complain about being single all the time when they actually already have a sweetheart.
If I had the money I would, I'm on social assistance, no one will hire me because I don't have a valid G license or car, and I can't afford driving lessons or a car because I am unemployed.



Believe me I am doing the best I can but sometimes doing things on your own isn't enough.
 
H

HopeinHim4ever

Guest
#19
actually I do recall on one forum when I was new and asked if Jesus ever dated and some very conservative believers said absolutely not and were horrifed that I would even ask such a question, but I didnt know

and so now when I see that its christians wanting to date I find that curious because the Bible if single says not to seek a partner , or if married not to leave it

be content with what you already have, if single your freedom, if married your bondage lol

but they could be new christians who havent yet learned, well a broken heart is learning the hard way I guess, though God wont turn them away

so maybe just keep repeating that message ad nauseum till its sunk in (I would find it hypocritical if I asked a pastor for advice and he was single, and then said well the solution is .....to marry me. )
But Paul said he would that the younger women marry and bear children. Also in that passage in 1 Cor. 7 it says if a virgin marry, she hasn't sinned. It was Paul's own opinion that singlehood is better. (And for some it is, esp. if you have no desire to be married.) Remember, too, whose idea marriage was in the first place. Jesus didn't marry when he was on earth, no, but He will get married to His bride one day.:)
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,280
2,560
113
#20
But I don't have any friends because nobody likes me....boo hoo hoo

Meaning I couldn't post there....