Not sure what to do. I don't fit in any church.

I've tried two churches and honestly I just don't fit in. I've been to other churches over year as well and I don't fit in there either.

I'm an extreme introvert, but I still feel compelled to go to church. It's very difficult. I don't like meeting people or being in a big group. Church is almost the exact opposite of what I want to do. I want to know more about the bible and I really enjoy a good sermon. I don't sing, so the first 30 minutes or so of any church is really uncomfortable. People descend on you and want to shake hands... that makes me want to turn around and walk back out. I can't help it.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Part of me wants to be there. I keep thinking there's something I'm supposed to do. Maybe help out or something. But the other part of me knows it's going to be super uncomfortable. It's very hard to describe. If you aren't an introvert there is no way to explain it.

I've tried two churches and honestly I just don't fit in. I've been to other churches over year as well and I don't fit in there either.

I'm an extreme introvert, but I still feel compelled to go to church. It's very difficult. I don't like meeting people or being in a big group. Church is almost the exact opposite of what I want to do. I want to know more about the bible and I really enjoy a good sermon. I don't sing, so the first 30 minutes or so of any church is really uncomfortable. People descend on you and want to shake hands... that makes me want to turn around and walk back out. I can't help it.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Part of me wants to be there. I keep thinking there's something I'm supposed to do. Maybe help out or something. But the other part of me knows it's going to be super uncomfortable. It's very hard to describe. If you aren't an introvert there is no way to explain it.

Show up later so you bypass the praise and worship and usual forced interaction that many churches engage in after it. I've done that.

But, it sounds like you want to just hear sermons and not deal with people. So why not just watch them online? Forcing yourself to go somewhere you don't want to, then suffering through social interactions you despise and avoid just to state the claim "I went to church" is counterproductive and really means zero to God.
One of the things thats supposed to be good about going to church is being around other people that believe the same way. And that way iron can sharpen iron, people can encourage one another, pray together, etc... If you don't want any of that then showing up at the building is pointless.

Really doing anything out of obligation is something God dismisses because it's not honoring God. God wants people to do out of a willing and wanting heart. Not because it's a rule you begrudgingly do, while complaining about it.

So if you don't want to go, don't go. Forcing yourself is not doing you, them or God any favors. It's simply you enslaving yourself to religious ideals that God spoke against.

As an introvert myself, and knowing the psuedo-religious demands of many Christians thinking extroversion is a fruit of the Spirit, I know how it all feels.

keep looking, there is a church home for you somewhere.

you might try a larger church, the smaller churches mean well, but the people there do tend to swarm you, and sometimes pepper you with questions.

larger churches tend to be a " hey, how is going", or " welcome " and they might be about it.

Fantastic advice. Before seeing your reply, this is exactly what happened today. I was driving to a church that's really too far away, thinking that things would be different if I just tried a new place (it never is). I'm sitting in the parking lot of this new church, stomach in knots and full of dread. Finally I just drive off. I can't do it.

I get back to the town where I live and I'm passing by a church I've been to a few times. It's almost 15 minutes after that service has started. I figured what the heck, I'll go in. I was able to find a seat, blend in and not have to shake anyone's hand. I know that sounds terrible to a non introvert but for me it was great. I'm not trying to be rude to people... I just can't handle a lot of interaction.

I do watch a lot of stuff online. I have several pastors that I really like to watch. But it doesn't relieve stress and anxiety the way attending in person does. I know... that doesn't make sense. Going to church can be a major source of stress and anxiety for me. But today it wasn't.

I no longer go to church, but the last few times I did I, too, had so much anxiety with all the people. Especially the greeters.
Even when I used to go regularly every time I would get nervous before walking in.

Your introversion does sound worse than mine. As a teen I used to be involved in a lot of things that made me have to interact more. And as an adult often found myself in jobs working with the public.
But I still prefer staying home away from people. There is a social streak in me but not with random people. I really only interact with the family I live with and my gf. And that's enough for me 😂

I've been working for 26 years. Every single time I go to work I am filled with anxiety. So many times I would be driving to work and my stomach would be so tore up I felt sick. Recently it has gotten better because I have a job where I can 99 percent work alone and not have to interact with anyone. There are other people around but I try very hard to ignore them.

I've tried two churches and honestly I just don't fit in. I've been to other churches over year as well and I don't fit in there either.

I'm an extreme introvert, but I still feel compelled to go to church. It's very difficult. I don't like meeting people or being in a big group. Church is almost the exact opposite of what I want to do. I want to know more about the bible and I really enjoy a good sermon. I don't sing, so the first 30 minutes or so of any church is really uncomfortable. People descend on you and want to shake hands... that makes me want to turn around and walk back out. I can't help it.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Part of me wants to be there. I keep thinking there's something I'm supposed to do. Maybe help out or something. But the other part of me knows it's going to be super uncomfortable. It's very hard to describe. If you aren't an introvert there is no way to explain it.

You dont have to go to any church at all. You can assemble a half dozen like
minded friends and meet every Sunday and study together, if you cant find
anyone, buy a red letter bible and a nkjv bible. read the scripture daily for half
hour or a bit more put the bible down and meditate on what you read.
intime you will see how close you come to God your heart will be one with God.
scripture says we need to know, you just need to love God annd your neighbor as
yourself. If you dont love God, and neighbor you dont have love in you at all.

question? do you have experience in media or software?

What kind of experience?

Part of being a member of a church is participating in the Church community. This doesn't sound like mere introversion. There are a lot of introverts who handle greetings well. There are also many introverts who revel in worship (my brother is one of them).

Please don't take this the wrong way, but perhaps you need to think about other reasons for your anxiety around people and churchmen in particular.

I hope you are blessed in your search and that the Lord finds you a home soon.