The wife of a California megachurch pastor tragically took her own life last weekend, leaving behind her husband and five kids under the age of 6.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
500
63
#21
Where does a person get time to even see a doctor when there are so many kids to care for? The pastor will be dealing with his responsibility in this situation now
 

verdant

New member
Sep 6, 2021
11
3
3
#22
Where does a person get time to even see a doctor when there are so many kids to care for? The pastor will be dealing with his responsibility in this situation now
Matthew, she had to have seen a doctor because she was admitted to supposedly one of the best mental health facilities in the country--that is where she committed suicide. While she was hospitalized.
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
500
63
#23
Matthew, she had to have seen a doctor because she was admitted to supposedly one of the best mental health facilities in the country--that is where she committed suicide. While she was hospitalized.
Too late, allowing multiple pregnancies in quick succession was not all her own doing
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
420
221
43
#24
I think there may eventually be more that comes to light in this sad story.

God rest her soul to peace and comfort her babies.

Five pregnancies in six years. Lord have mercy for her husband did not.
Desperate depressed people do desperate depressing things. It may have been what seem to a soul in pain the last resort to end the pain. Or she may have felt like a way to get even for being neglected and/or ignored. We really don't know what was going on in her head. Only the Lord knows. Don't forget He died for her sins too, all of them! The Lotd's compassion is beyond human measure. Let's pray that her family receives good counseling and thar the children don't blame themselves for her demise. In Jesus name.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
5,439
3,218
113
#25
I think there may eventually be more that comes to light in this sad story.

God rest her soul to peace and comfort her babies.

Five pregnancies in six years. Lord have mercy for her husband did not.
My mother had the same, 4 live births and miscarried twins. She married and lived with a hard man who drank and gambled. She died at the age of 76. She was a nominal Christian, never went to church. My dad was an aggressive atheist. Suicide is a terrible waste of a life.

I would not be too hard on the husband. My daughter is something of a baby factory, and that is by her choice. God knows the truth. No doubt the widower is suffering. Likewise the congregation.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
5,439
3,218
113
#26
I've never understood how it is possible for a Spirit-filled believer to be depressed or have a mental health issue. It is so in contrast to God's word. He will keep those in perfect peace whose eyes are stayed on Him.

.
Be careful about judging. You may end up finding out how it is possible. Then you will understand.

Some people are more inclined to depression than others. They are the serious introverts, prone to introspection. They are usually perfectionists, harder on themselves than anyone else would be. They are by nature negative. They internalise a lot so it is often not obvious that they are depressed. When things go wrong for such people, they are more likely to implode than the more outgoing types.

Some of the most influential people in history suffered depression. Charles Spurgeon comes to mind, as does Sir Winston Churchill. You think maybe Spurgeon knew God's word? Was Churchill as tough as they come? Yes to both.
 

Jackson123

Senior Member
Feb 6, 2014
11,769
1,371
113
#27
Being pastor wife on a mega church will be lot of pressures no private life anymore + 5 kids under 6 for 28 years mom is not easy. Normal person will depress face that situation.
Some people in poor country think poor make depress but some rich people depress too.
That is life on earth we can expect nothing good
 

Icedaisey

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2021
1,398
475
83
#28
My mother had the same, 4 live births and miscarried twins. She married and lived with a hard man who drank and gambled. She died at the age of 76. She was a nominal Christian, never went to church. My dad was an aggressive atheist. Suicide is a terrible waste of a life.

I would not be too hard on the husband. My daughter is something of a baby factory, and that is by her choice. God knows the truth. No doubt the widower is suffering. Likewise the congregation.
The poor woman that has our sympathy and prayers wasn't a baby factory.
What an horrible judgement of a woman.
What of the men? Nothing about being sperm droppers? Takes two.

There's just no empathy there in your post.. Just criticism. Even of HisKid right after this.
Your daughter has my sympathy.
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#29
I've never understood how it is possible for a Spirit-filled believer to be depressed or have a mental health issue. It is so in contrast to God's word. He will keep those in perfect peace whose eyes are stayed on Him.

.
Troll harder
 

verdant

New member
Sep 6, 2021
11
3
3
#30

Many Christians get depressed. In her case as I said early --most likely it was postpartum depression--sometimes depression is chemical and sometimes it is situational. You can easily find many stories in the bible of great men of God who became depressed. Moses, Elijah, Hannah, Solomon, David, Job, just to name a few.

Depression is part and parcel of life--when it becomes extremely dark, it is like falling down a well--the person will need outside help and of course prayer to get out of it.

"For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life."--2 Corinthians 1:8
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#31
I know there is debates on either side of the mega church argument. The problem isn’t the size of the congregation, it’s the focus of the leadership. Within numbers there is power to make a difference. Which difference is decided by the leadership.
On the topic of mega charges I remember when I used to go to church and our pastor tried to get TD Jakes to come. Jakes said he has to get paid a minimum of $40,000 or it's not even worth getting on the plane.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#32
On the topic of mega charges I remember when I used to go to church and our pastor tried to get TD Jakes to come. Jakes said he has to get paid a minimum of $40,000 or it's not even worth getting on the plane.
What a deal! Watching one of his sermons on a projector through YouTube…free. Why don’t you go to church anymore?
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#33
What a deal! Watching one of his sermons on a projector through YouTube…free. Why don’t you go to church anymore?
If I do decide to go back to church and that's a big if it's not going to be that particular church because of some ridiculousness that occurred there
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#34
Obviously so someone in treatment for severe mental health issues, I must also not be a true Christian .

Oh well... (Shrugs)
Yes the good old no true Scotsman fallacy
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#35
The human brain is as capable of malfunctioning as any other organ in the body. What people may experience during real clinical depression can be far worse than the negative emotions of a normal healthy system. Not something you can decide to control anymore than you can decide to control arthritis or cancer.
Right. Also we don't know what goes on in other people's minds, often we don't even understand how our own brains work.
Also we don't know any of the factors that may have led up to this. Because we don't know people's personal lives.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
5,439
3,218
113
#36
The poor woman that has our sympathy and prayers wasn't a baby factory.
What an horrible judgement of a woman.
What of the men? Nothing about being sperm droppers? Takes two.

There's just no empathy there in your post.. Just criticism. Even of HisKid right after this.
Your daughter has my sympathy.
Don't bother with sympathy. She had an implant. It stopped her getting pregnant, She had it surgically inserted and then decided to get it removed. Why? So she could get sympathy? No! So she could have more kids! Believe it or not, some women actually enjoy being a mother. I realise that it is no longer fashionable, but my daughter is well able to cope and well able to choose for herself. I don't know what her husband had to say about it. Not much, I suspect.
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#37
Don't bother with sympathy. She had an implant. It stopped her getting pregnant, She had it surgically inserted and then decided to get it removed. Why? So she could get sympathy? No! So she could have more kids! Believe it or not, some women actually enjoy being a mother. I realise that it is no longer fashionable, but my daughter is well able to cope and well able to choose for herself. I don't know what her husband had to say about it. Not much, I suspect.
Troll harder
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#38
Many Christians get depressed. In her case as I said early --most likely it was postpartum depression--sometimes depression is chemical and sometimes it is situational. You can easily find many stories in the bible of great men of God who became depressed. Moses, Elijah, Hannah, Solomon, David, Job, just to name a few.

Depression is part and parcel of life--when it becomes extremely dark, it is like falling down a well--the person will need outside help and of course prayer to get out of it.

"For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life."--2 Corinthians 1:8
For someone to downplay depression and suicide is despicable an absolutely inexcusable. This person should be banned for being so cruel and callous towards a serious mental health issue
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#39
Be careful about judging. You may end up finding out how it is possible. Then you will understand.

Some people are more inclined to depression than others. They are the serious introverts, prone to introspection. They are usually perfectionists, harder on themselves than anyone else would be. They are by nature negative. They internalise a lot so it is often not obvious that they are depressed. When things go wrong for such people, they are more likely to implode than the more outgoing types.

Some of the most influential people in history suffered depression. Charles Spurgeon comes to mind, as does Sir Winston Churchill. You think maybe Spurgeon knew God's word? Was Churchill as tough as they come? Yes to both.
You also made an insensitive comment trying to gaslight what the wife may have been going through mentally. So both of you are out of order
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
13,013
1,153
113
#40
Again we don't know what goes on behind closed doors and we don't know if she wasn't pressured by her husband to remove the birth control device.
I'm not saying he did I'm just saying we don't know that he didn't.
It's probably a much more nuanced problem
Also there are denominations of Christianity that basically think women should just shut up and keep cranking out babies.
Before anyone's straw man's me I'm not saying all Christians think that way but some of them do