Men can you tell if another man is good-looking?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So possibly, a man judges how attractive another man is by how closely the other resembles himself? That's what I do, anyway. ;-)

Several years ago, I read a blog or post from a woman who was upset that a male friend could not tell her if a guy she was being set up on a blind date was good looking or not. The man said he could not tell if he was good looking or not, and she thought he was being dishonest. I thought this was awfully insensitive of the woman. Women can tell if men are good looking, but men could not tell if other men are good-looking... or can they? I cannot, but can other men?

So I got curious about this. Was I lacking in this aspect of interpreting the world? My mind went back to a few occasions where I heard a man say another man was good-looking. I thought they were just talking nonsense, empty flattery or something. Sometimes this happened when I was in Asia. A lot of men in the US won't say stuff like that. I guess I would have thought homosexual men had a sense of this if I had thought about it.

So I took a few straw polls, discussions with a few guys after a Bible study, discussions at the lunch table at work. One co-worker said he could tell if a man was good looking. The other said that was something women could tell. He could not. Some men just did not answer or changed the subject. My guess is somewhere around 20% of men are like me. I would not know that Brad Pitt is good-looking if no one had ever told me. Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Mel Gibson, Ryan Gosling-- I presume are good-looking because people say they are and because of women's reactions.

I think I can have a slight sense of it. If a man is very odd-looking, I can tell if he is not good-looking. I could always do that. But sometimes I can kind of guess at it-- facial symmetry, large jaw. I might ask my wife if a man in a movie is good-looking. It helps me figure out the story line, if he is going to be a love interest of a female character.

For women, I don't have to think about it. I know in a milisecond if a woman is good-looking according to my own particular tastes and opinions. I also notice other people might think a woman is good looking but I don't if she has a trait I associate with masculinity, like a large jaw or something along those lines. Maybe I associate masculinity with not being good looking or something like that. Beauty is subjective. Some women will disagree over whether a certain man is good-looking. Women used to rave over Clark Gable. My wife did not think he was good looking when she saw an old movie. My mom used to think the bar tender from Cheers was odd looking.

I thought I would bring my straw poll here. To what extent can men on this forum tell if a man is good-looking? How many of you have little to no sense of it?

Several years ago, I read a blog or post from a woman who was upset that a male friend could not tell her if a guy she was being set up on a blind date was good looking or not. The man said he could not tell if he was good looking or not, and she thought he was being dishonest. I thought this was awfully insensitive of the woman. Women can tell if men are good looking, but men could not tell if other men are good-looking... or can they? I cannot, but can other men?

So I got curious about this. Was I lacking in this aspect of interpreting the world? My mind went back to a few occasions where I heard a man say another man was good-looking. I thought they were just talking nonsense, empty flattery or something. Sometimes this happened when I was in Asia. A lot of men in the US won't say stuff like that. I guess I would have thought homosexual men had a sense of this if I had thought about it.

So I took a few straw polls, discussions with a few guys after a Bible study, discussions at the lunch table at work. One co-worker said he could tell if a man was good looking. The other said that was something women could tell. He could not. Some men just did not answer or changed the subject. My guess is somewhere around 20% of men are like me. I would not know that Brad Pitt is good-looking if no one had ever told me. Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Mel Gibson, Ryan Gosling-- I presume are good-looking because people say they are and because of women's reactions.

I think I can have a slight sense of it. If a man is very odd-looking, I can tell if he is not good-looking. I could always do that. But sometimes I can kind of guess at it-- facial symmetry, large jaw. I might ask my wife if a man in a movie is good-looking. It helps me figure out the story line, if he is going to be a love interest of a female character.

For women, I don't have to think about it. I know in a milisecond if a woman is good-looking according to my own particular tastes and opinions. I also notice other people might think a woman is good looking but I don't if she has a trait I associate with masculinity, like a large jaw or something along those lines. Maybe I associate masculinity with not being good looking or something like that. Beauty is subjective. Some women will disagree over whether a certain man is good-looking. Women used to rave over Clark Gable. My wife did not think he was good looking when she saw an old movie. My mom used to think the bar tender from Cheers was odd looking.

I thought I would bring my straw poll here. To what extent can men on this forum tell if a man is good-looking? How many of you have little to no sense of it?

Probably a good thing they didn't ask the guys to rank the girls in that one... ()

This thread made me laugh and it was fun reading all the male responses. It reminds me of when my husband is watching baseball and I say a certain player is cute and he seems totally floored by it lol. It seems like men just have this general resistance to admitting ANY guy is attractive. I don't know if it's an ego thing or they just don't see it.

I think most men can tell.

I'm pretty sure most men knows when another man is attractive. They always seem to get competitive or self conscious around an attractive guy, and not so much around an unattractive guy.

I've even had men tell me...wow...he's hot...I bet you're attracted to him.

Then others, who would never dare call another guy hot, but would ask what do you think of him is he attractive? I'm pretty sure, they knew the guy was attractive because once again, they would only ask about the attractive guys.

But really the same goes for women...I almost thought for a while that I couldn't spot an attractive woman because any time I asked a guy if they thought another woman was attractive ...the answer was always...flat out NO.. she's not my type.

Then a guy finally told me that was an unspoken rule for guys...you never tell a woman you are in a relationship with or interested in that you find another woman attractive....That never ends well....

I've even had men tell me...wow...he's hot...I bet you're attracted to him.

These guys are gay. For real.

These guys are gay. For real.

I think your friend would not tell you if his frriend was ugly or not, because he was not attractive. Two outcomes, either he spoiled his friends date with a lafy out of his league, assuming you are. Or you might have told his friend that he told you he was not attractive. Bad position to be put in.

It is very easy to say if someone is good looking, Hollywood tells us what is attractive. Society inprints a beautystandard on us, which we abide by in public. And I think there is a scientific formula to attractiveness in the face, it is about symetry, and some methematic measures. Other than that, it is about broad shoulders, slimmer waiste than chest, etc.

Yeah, that is more than likely the case.

Someone's not going to try to set someone up on a date with their friend, and then say oh and by the way...they are unattractive.

Yes, would be bad form. If pressed I would in the past have said yes even if it was not true. Worst case scenario is that the one who set them up was honest and said he was ugly, and she still went on the date. Then they talk about it, and the man feels insulted and get angry, Then the ones on date marry and cut out the one who joined them for a simple truth. Then it is biblical, ungratefulness is the worlds paycheck.

Yes, would be bad form. If pressed I would in the past have said yes even if it was not true. Worst case scenario is that the one who set them up was honest and said he was ugly, and she still went on the date. Then they talk about it, and the man feels insulted and get angry, Then the ones on date marry and cut out the one who joined them for a simple truth. Then it is biblical, ungratefulness is the worlds paycheck.

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