New to the board could use encouragement.

Years ago, when I was married (before I messed it all up), my wife and I found her child, my step-daughter, to be a full-fledged prostitute that was using hard drugs. She was 14 years old. She had been gang-raped more than once, to say the least. In our struggles with this out-of-control step-daughter of mine, the Mrs and the biological father all agreed that we should "send her away" to a state that could retain her and give her proper correction. Do you think it worked? Nope.

What I learned, in the long run, is that I was the sick one. The mother was the sick one; and so was the biological father. The three adults that this beautiful creation was modeling was ourselves. She was just behaving in alignment with those who had given her life. Me? Alcoholic and sex addict. I was totally out of control. The biologicals were any better, yet we sent this beautiful creation away for correction? Hypocrites . . . that's what we were; for we were 100% wrong. And . . . we were utterly disgusting to treat her in this way.

If you want to prove to your wife that you're serious, send yourself "away" and do not return until you have "fixed" yourself. Prove to her that you are serious. Show your wife and you are so serious about changing, that you refuse to even allow your wife to be in your presence until you have proven that you have changed. Do you understand? If you're willing to do anything for her, then get busy and stop with all of the words. It's time for clear, hardcore action . . . and do it without words. Prove yourself.

Hey guys, Allen here. First off I’m super grateful to have found this message board. Long story short, fell out of my faith, basically doing the bare minimum, maybe prayer a few times a week and that was it. I once was praying all the time, giving praise to God for the many years looking to better myself but I got comfortable in life and fell off. Started using alcohol and whatever to run from my personal issues and insecurities which created a person totally different than who I was. I started creating a negative ripple effect in my personal life, lost jobs because I got lazy now I’m losing it all in terms of my wife of only a 20months who I worked my tail off to achieve but I had lost my purpose and drive and took my anger out and acted terrible to those closest to me. I’m in the midst of a divorce and I’m saddened because I really meant my vows but I know I have failed them and my wife is tired of trying to fix me because only I could do that and I would put a temporary bandaid on things, then the cycle would repeat. Essentially I just need some encouragement in these tough times to keep me on the right track which I have been for about 12-13 days now. I’m finally thinking clearly and wrote out all my issues but I feel a sense of peace because I can conquer them if I really try and I’m tired of running from them. It’s basically destroyed everything I worked hard for and the sad part is, if I just faced them I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m just trying to do the next right thing daily and really working on myself to hopefully be able to create that positive ripple effect in my life. Bottom line is, I’m working on myself for once and not just those around me. It sad because I do love my wife but I understand the choices I have made have been a pattern and she doesn’t deserve to be put through that over and over again. I’m also saddened that this last time really broke the trust she had for me and she isn’t wanting to be there as I make these changes but all I can do is actually do what I said I will do for myself and hopefully she will she that.

Hey guys, Allen here. First off I’m super grateful to have found this message board. Long story short, fell out of my faith, basically doing the bare minimum, maybe prayer a few times a week and that was it. I once was praying all the time, giving praise to God for the many years looking to better myself but I got comfortable in life and fell off. Started using alcohol and whatever to run from my personal issues and insecurities which created a person totally different than who I was. I started creating a negative ripple effect in my personal life, lost jobs because I got lazy now I’m losing it all in terms of my wife of only a 20months who I worked my tail off to achieve but I had lost my purpose and drive and took my anger out and acted terrible to those closest to me. I’m in the midst of a divorce and I’m saddened because I really meant my vows but I know I have failed them and my wife is tired of trying to fix me because only I could do that and I would put a temporary bandaid on things, then the cycle would repeat. Essentially I just need some encouragement in these tough times to keep me on the right track which I have been for about 12-13 days now. I’m finally thinking clearly and wrote out all my issues but I feel a sense of peace because I can conquer them if I really try and I’m tired of running from them. It’s basically destroyed everything I worked hard for and the sad part is, if I just faced them I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m just trying to do the next right thing daily and really working on myself to hopefully be able to create that positive ripple effect in my life. Bottom line is, I’m working on myself for once and not just those around me. It sad because I do love my wife but I understand the choices I have made have been a pattern and she doesn’t deserve to be put through that over and over again. I’m also saddened that this last time really broke the trust she had for me and she isn’t wanting to be there as I make these changes but all I can do is actually do what I said I will do for myself and hopefully she will she that.

Hey guys, Allen here. First off I’m super grateful to have found this message board. Long story short, fell out of my faith, basically doing the bare minimum, maybe prayer a few times a week and that was it. I once was praying all the time, giving praise to God for the many years looking to better myself but I got comfortable in life and fell off. Started using alcohol and whatever to run from my personal issues and insecurities which created a person totally different than who I was. I started creating a negative ripple effect in my personal life, lost jobs because I got lazy now I’m losing it all in terms of my wife of only a 20months who I worked my tail off to achieve but I had lost my purpose and drive and took my anger out and acted terrible to those closest to me. I’m in the midst of a divorce and I’m saddened because I really meant my vows but I know I have failed them and my wife is tired of trying to fix me because only I could do that and I would put a temporary bandaid on things, then the cycle would repeat. Essentially I just need some encouragement in these tough times to keep me on the right track which I have been for about 12-13 days now. I’m finally thinking clearly and wrote out all my issues but I feel a sense of peace because I can conquer them if I really try and I’m tired of running from them. It’s basically destroyed everything I worked hard for and the sad part is, if I just faced them I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m just trying to do the next right thing daily and really working on myself to hopefully be able to create that positive ripple effect in my life. Bottom line is, I’m working on myself for once and not just those around me. It sad because I do love my wife but I understand the choices I have made have been a pattern and she doesn’t deserve to be put through that over and over again. I’m also saddened that this last time really broke the trust she had for me and she isn’t wanting to be there as I make these changes but all I can do is actually do what I said I will do for myself and hopefully she will she that.