Should men be able to express themselves in a relationship?

woah.
sorry you seem to have problems with women and taking it out on them?!

Ive always maintained that you need to cultivate your relationship with God FIRST.

huh pot calling kettle black about being random or expressing herself...I guess some men cant really handle randomness or women thinking about stuff too huh?

lol

well going back to OP

innermost fears, traumas, concerns,
feelings sad anxious or worried...why should a woman expect a man to share those with her. A woman is not God. These things a child might go to their mother. or in prayer to God. But not to randomly to someone, even if they are in a relationship. Why because what would be the point?

do you expect someone to dump all their worries on you?
Even women dont go sharing that kind of stuff with men who wouldnt understand when they are PMSing. They cant do anything about it!

or was it a different dr spock. I just know about the baby book author.

You should always be able to express yourself in a relationship. When one party does not allow the other party to express, one has to look at the relationship as a whole and see if this is worth staying in. Yes, there's always work and changes CAN be made in a relationship, but it shows a huge character flaw of someone who doesn't allow another to communicate their wants or their needs.

Men need to express emotions at appropriate times. But without self-control they won't be respected.

Hi folks just a pretty straightforward question really.
In a relationship do you think it's important for a guy to be able to express himself.Many guys in general can express anger for example which is a powerful forceful amount of emotional energy...what what about sharing his innermost feelings?Things that hurt him,fears,concerns ect..traumas?
Many women have been frustrated as their partner doesn't express how he really feels or thinks about certain things and therefore makes it difficult for her understand his point of view and if he feels sad,anxious or even worried about things in life.
Unfortunately various cultures as well a society can dictate how men express themselves mentally and emotionally and some can see expressing certain emotions as being unmanly or weak.Also in the home many fathers don't express themselves emotionally to their sons so many sons can grow up not being emotionally self aware.
Some men are lead to believe they aren't supposed to cry,be scared...be vulnerable ect...so many men at times seek to hide these things and put on a front which isn't a reflection of who they REALLY are.Many feel the constant pressure or demand to be strong,the leader....the warrior type figure...
Personally I have no problems expressing my emotions verbally e t because of having to go through counselling in the past and just being really aware of that's going on inside me.Anyway it be good to hear your thoughts on this matter.
Look forward to hear from you.
Just how important is it for a guy to be able to express himself in a relationship emotionally and mentally...coz some guys say they dont do emotions..🤦🏼‍♂️

Word of advice to Brother Encouragement: In my experience all women are turned off, bigtime, when a suitor expresses any sort of weakness whatsoever. Men who want a woman therefore, must limit themselves to righteous indignation with a hint of determination. But sure, if a man meets some women friends that he's sure they will never want to date, go ahead and "express yourself". I guess married men can risk it... but proceed with caution.

"Should" men be able to express their emotions within a relationship?

Yes.

Are they?

Typically, no. Two thoughts, by way of explanation...

Firstly, "emotions" is usually a euphemistic code for fear, sadness, and hurt. Few people have an issue with men expressing appropriate elation, surprise, irritation, or controlled anger. It's misleading and confusing to use a general term to mean a small range of the spectrum.

Men feel every emotion, just as women do, whether or not they have been trained to identify and recognize them. How they express them is often limited by societal or familiar pressure, and far too many men are trained to keep most emotions to themselves. These same men are not trained how to deal with the powerful emotions that they do feel, and many channel them into bullying, aggression, malice, and vengeance, both physical or mental.

Secondly, like it or not, many women are simply not attracted to men who express their negative emotions in the same ways women do, or will lose respect for those who do. Belka touched on this earlier; it's not a societal norm so much as a biological reality.
So what's the answer? Men, deal with your strong emotions (especially those in the realm of fear, sadness, or hurt) privately with God, or with other trustworthy men. It's better not to deal with them with your female partner (and definitely not with a woman other than your partner!). Instead, once you have dealt with them, you might share that you felt a certain way, but share the existence of the emotion, rather than expressing the emotion itself. Also, learn how to deal with powerful emotions in the moment, saving the 'dealing' for an appropriate time.

Well since someone raised this old thread to my attention I have to disagree a little brother, with men sharing emotions with their partners. I grew up with a father that showed only negative emotions anger being the main one. His family would rather die then show a positive emotion. Almost kill them to say "I love you". You had to pretty much be dying to get that. All my uncles would knock you in the shoulder with their fist and that would mean "I love you". You would swear their tongues were cut out of their heads. My aunt would literally stand at the door as they left and say to my uncle "tell your brother you love him"!! My father had two girls, myself and my sister, and you would have thought that would soften him, but it just hardened us, sad to say. Not that I don't love my father, I suppose in a way he loves me back. But that's what I grew up under. And my mother caved to my father.

Skip ahead to my husband who was raised by his mother. His father left when he was young. And honestly he expresses more range of emotions than I do. If something hurts him, he says so. If he feels saddened, he tells me. If he's had a bad day and feels overwhelmed he says so. From the time we met once we were committed and dating he would say I love you every time he hung up the phone with me. Every single time. For someone who grew up hearing that so rarely, I honestly found that hard. He was very affectionate, holding hands, hugs, kisses on the forehead. I was overwhelmed. It was too much. I had only been affectionate with my young nephews and telling them I loved them. My family did not hug, only at weddings and funerals. For me to start saying "I love you" as often as my husband did took time. I told my mother I was having trouble with terms of endearment, my parents called each other by their names. There was no honey, darling, love kind of thing. I had to break down and explain to my husband why I was having such a hard time expressing myself. He didn't stop being who he was and I learned to say "I love you" as often as he does. I learned to be affectionate and use terms of endearment, even though it sounded silly when I started. I learned to change.

Now my hubby is a big guy. I'm not painting him as a cry baby. But he even says he was raised by a woman and shows emotion more than most men. And I needed that in my life. I needed a man that could tell me he was sorry. I don't think I ever heard a man say that till my husband did. A man can be a real man and express those emotions. I don't think any less of him. He's a big man with a soft heart and I love that about him. He'd defend me with his last breath. I don't see him as any less manly. I don't respect him less, in fact I respect him more. I needed a man that expressed himself, God knew that. He's even helped me understand my father a little better. I'm perfectly happy with my husband and I wouldn't be able to live with any other type of man. I appreciate who he is. He's taught me a lot about myself and helped me change and grow into a woman. I'm grateful for him.

Word of advice to Brother Encouragement: In my experience all women are turned off, bigtime, when a suitor expresses any sort of weakness whatsoever. Men who want a woman therefore, must limit themselves to righteous indignation with a hint of determination. But sure, if a man meets some women friends that he's sure they will never want to date, go ahead and "express yourself". I guess married men can risk it... but proceed with caution.

Such a beautiful testimony...So touched reading this...🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Thank you, I try to be as honest about my life as possible. In doing so I hope to help other people who may be going through a similar situation.

Hi folks just a pretty straightforward question really.
In a relationship do you think it's important for a guy to be able to express himself.Many guys in general can express anger for example which is a powerful forceful amount of emotional energy...what what about sharing his innermost feelings?Things that hurt him,fears,concerns ect..traumas?
Many women have been frustrated as their partner doesn't express how he really feels or thinks about certain things and therefore makes it difficult for her understand his point of view and if he feels sad,anxious or even worried about things in life.
Unfortunately various cultures as well a society can dictate how men express themselves mentally and emotionally and some can see expressing certain emotions as being unmanly or weak.Also in the home many fathers don't express themselves emotionally to their sons so many sons can grow up not being emotionally self aware.
Some men are lead to believe they aren't supposed to cry,be scared...be vulnerable ect...so many men at times seek to hide these things and put on a front which isn't a reflection of who they REALLY are.Many feel the constant pressure or demand to be strong,the leader....the warrior type figure...
Personally I have no problems expressing my emotions verbally e t because of having to go through counselling in the past and just being really aware of that's going on inside me.Anyway it be good to hear your thoughts on this matter.
Look forward to hear from you.
Just how important is it for a guy to be able to express himself in a relationship emotionally and mentally...coz some guys say they dont do emotions..🤦🏼‍♂️

Well since someone raised this old thread to my attention I have to disagree a little brother, with men sharing emotions with their partners. I grew up with a father that showed only negative emotions anger being the main one. His family would rather die then show a positive emotion. Almost kill them to say "I love you". You had to pretty much be dying to get that. All my uncles would knock you in the shoulder with their fist and that would mean "I love you". You would swear their tongues were cut out of their heads. My aunt would literally stand at the door as they left and say to my uncle "tell your brother you love him"!! My father had two girls, myself and my sister, and you would have thought that would soften him, but it just hardened us, sad to say. Not that I don't love my father, I suppose in a way he loves me back. But that's what I grew up under. And my mother caved to my father.

Skip ahead to my husband who was raised by his mother. His father left when he was young. And honestly he expresses more range of emotions than I do. If something hurts him, he says so. If he feels saddened, he tells me. If he's had a bad day and feels overwhelmed he says so. From the time we met once we were committed and dating he would say I love you every time he hung up the phone with me. Every single time. For someone who grew up hearing that so rarely, I honestly found that hard. He was very affectionate, holding hands, hugs, kisses on the forehead. I was overwhelmed. It was too much. I had only been affectionate with my young nephews and telling them I loved them. My family did not hug, only at weddings and funerals. For me to start saying "I love you" as often as my husband did took time. I told my mother I was having trouble with terms of endearment, my parents called each other by their names. There was no honey, darling, love kind of thing. I had to break down and explain to my husband why I was having such a hard time expressing myself. He didn't stop being who he was and I learned to say "I love you" as often as he does. I learned to be affectionate and use terms of endearment, even though it sounded silly when I started. I learned to change.

Now my hubby is a big guy. I'm not painting him as a cry baby. But he even says he was raised by a woman and shows emotion more than most men. And I needed that in my life. I needed a man that could tell me he was sorry. I don't think I ever heard a man say that till my husband did. A man can be a real man and express those emotions. I don't think any less of him. He's a big man with a soft heart and I love that about him. He'd defend me with his last breath. I don't see him as any less manly. I don't respect him less, in fact I respect him more. I needed a man that expressed himself, God knew that. He's even helped me understand my father a little better. I'm perfectly happy with my husband and I wouldn't be able to live with any other type of man. I appreciate who he is. He's taught me a lot about myself and helped me change and grow into a woman. I'm grateful for him.