Hey Im 18 and I have problem with porn. Its started when I was kid and now i try to fight with it but its not easy. Do you friends have any tips to stop it ? I mean the worst thing is when after some period of time without porn I want to see this and sometimes its hard to stand. Im looking forward to see your comments (Im sorry for grammar mistakes but Im from Poland)❤️
Hey Alexander, first of all I would like to applaud you for your search for help here and your willingness to share your story. I know what it's like, because I have dealt with the same thing. I would like to share my ongoing testimony with you as advice that may help you.
First of all, one of the beautiful things about this testimony of mine is that it begins with a relationship with God that was not focused on my addiction to pornography and masturbation. When I went to God in search of a deeper relationship with Himself, God did not bring up my mistakes or the addictions I even wanted to bring up. He just loved me. He let me come to him for Himself and not a solution for my problems. Don't get me wrong, he wanted to help solve them! But remember in your walk that God is not there just to be the solution to your problems, he is there to be your Life, the fullness of it. In the story of the prodigal son it was interesting to me that after the son cursed the Father, squandered his wealth on wrong living, and went back to his house in search of help as the status of a slave, the first thing the Father did when he saw the son was not grind him for cursing him and making a mess of his life. Instead, "his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him." (Luke 15 v.20) The story goes on to recount the father throwing a celebration for his lost son had been found. This is God's heart towards us. Remember this,
1.
As your walk in your journey, the sum of your relationship with God will not be your struggle with porn, it will be your discovery and growth as God reveals his character to you. God is there to give you life and more abundantly here, to love you and care for you, and reveal his character to you as your intimacy with him grows. If you make mistakes, know that it is not over. But as God's love is greater than any mistake, God is willing to grace you to continue walking, and along the way, heal you and make you whole and holy.
Recently, God brought to the forefront of my mind the struggle that I myself have had with porn and masturbating. However, the first question he asked me was,
"Are you being honest with me?" An interesting question. I had told God and my parents that I didn't want these things. I was scared to admit it. Scared to accept the severity of my heart and my actions. But God drew me in his love to be honest, and I felt an incredible release and peace in me at that moment. Saying to God, "I really want these things. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be doing it now. But I know it's wrong. I know you don't want me to do this. Please help me with my desire, and my mind so I can do what you want in this." Herein lies my next piece of advice to you,
2.
God invites you to be honest about the darkest parts of yourself. Perhaps the parts you don't want to admit. He wants you to tell him. So then you can fully realize the extent to which you need help, and further more the strength God has to rescue you from even there. There is a beauty in honesty. That God won't ignore the deep dark parts. He loves you so much to touch even there, and heal you.
Last of all, the last thing God has left me with, is to trust and obey. I honestly did not like this part the most out of all of them. But there is a scripture that helped me with this. It's in Jude 1: 24-25 and it says, "Now all glory to God,
who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. All glory to him
who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen." This command to trust and obey also came with an invitation to REST in the Love of God. When you actually begin to fight your desire, it takes nothing less than God to fight them. It's that bad, but God is that strong. And He will win that battle for you. The reason why any Christian was not crippled by their path of sin was because God was keeping them from "falling away". God will keep you from falling away. Just,
3.
rest. Rest in the love of God and his desire to see you set free more than you desire to see yourself free. He is the only one who can keep you standing upright. The only thing he asks you to do in this, is that when he gives you the opportunity to do so, you trust and obey. And I can't stress this last part enough, when it is hard to obey him. When you are confused and hesitant to do so, realize you can be honest with God about that too! His kindness and grace are also there to help you win that battle. There was a quote I listened to by Jackie Hill Perry. She said, "You need God to obey God." At the core of everything here is the importance of God in our lives and in our fights.
Get close to him, be honest with him, trust, rest and obey him. Let this be the first step in your freedom from this.
One last thing, I have been knee deep in this struggle for the past 10 years. And I am 17 turning 18 later this year. I have 10 years of images, videos, thoughts, feelings, and desires I have to fight through. I don't know how long it must be for you. But I want to let you know that I am still fighting. Losing sometimes, winning some. But regardless, God always comforts me with his Love. And reminds me that HE is my story, not porn or masturbation. It might take us a while to be completely free. But God looks at not the appearance, but the heart. What God wants is that our heart posture reflect all I listed above for long enough in order for him to move.
I hope this encourages you. And helps you keep going, bro.