Hey Everyone,
Almost every Christian knows these passages: "You shall know them by their fruits," (Matthew 7:20,) and, "Either make the tree good and it's fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit." (Matthew 12:33)
In other words, we will know if someone is "truly a believer" if they produce the right kind of fruit in their lives, right? Seems like an easy concept. But something I wonder about is, "Exactly how much of our fruit to do we have to leave out on display in order for others to be 'convinced'?"
In other words, how do we balance:
Matthew 6:3 -- "When you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing." (Keep it between you and the Lord,) versus:
Matthew 10:14 -- "And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet." I know this verse is talking about the preaching of the Gospel, but I think it can also be applied to this situation as well -- please let me explain.
I have stated several times on the forum that one of my biggest challenges in my own Christian walk is that others within the church have deemed me "not Christian enough," and then try to strong-arm me into being more like what they believe is a Christian. This is a good part as to why I've become so strong-willed myself. I actively resist people who are more interested in making me like them (or into something they would like) and want me to do the things they want me to do rather than what I believe God is calling me to be.
One of the many reasons I am single is because I haven't been able to "prove myself" to be "enough of a Christian" to many who seem to demand proof. It's never enough for me to just be myself -- I do way too much of this, and way too little of that. I've been told that I talk to people way too much about their lives and situations and beliefs, rather than bombarding them right away with Scripture, which is what they feel I should be doing (and they won't listen to me when I try to explain that I personally find getting to really know a person to be the best way to lead into talking about Jesus in the first place.) It's just the way I think God built me.
One of the best examples I can think of is several years agowhen I was exchanging messages with a gentleman on a Christian web site. He had expressed interest in continuing to talk and eventually meet if things went in that direction... We were communicating in autumn, with the holidays being right around the corner. And then one day he wrote that he was no longer interested in talking to me because he had noticed that I use the phrase, "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas."
I tried to explain to him that for much of my life, my family and friends have all been long-distance and I rarely get to see or talk to them, so if I'm talking to someone right before all the major holidays are about to hit, then yes, I most certainly say, "Happy Holidays"! But he wouldn't listen to me, and instead gave me a big lecture about how I wasn't keeping Christ in Christmas and was obviously much too worldly for him to talk to.
No worries and no loss, and I totally understand. I would never want someone to continue talking to me if they felt I was somehow a threat to their faith -- henceforth, "shaking off the dust" and moving on, for both him, and for me.
But one of the biggest problems I've run into continually within the dating world is always being asked in some way, whether subtle or outright, if I'm "Christian enough" to meet the other person's demands.
It got to be so bad that I actually started keeping lists of the various versions of the Bible I had read entirely through, the classes I took, the ministries I participate in, and the charities I support, not as a brag sheet but to act as a simple self-defense against people who demand "proof" as to why I call myself a Christian.
I see it as being like a vaccine passport -- you have to absolutely PROVE that you check off enough boxes to qualify as having enough, or the right kind of fruit, or you are denied any further right to express yourself.
* How can I keep what I'm doing just between the Lord and myself when other Christians seem to constantly demand (not just ask) for tangible "proof" that's "good enough" to meet their "requirements"?
Even if you say you support a charity, that's definitely not good enough, because you will then receive a lecture on why most charities are criminal (which I do understand,) or that you should be giving that money to the church instead.
And I'm sure I'm not the only person who encounters this.
* How do you all deal with people who demand a visible, material proof of the fruit you are producing in your life?
* How much of your fruit do you allow people to see?
* And if someone demands further proof, what do you do? (Try your best to "prove yourself," or shake the dust off your feet and move on?) Why or why not?
What's that old saying... "Misery loves company?"
I would love to hear your stories about having to "prove yourself a Christian" and how God has taught you to handle it.
Almost every Christian knows these passages: "You shall know them by their fruits," (Matthew 7:20,) and, "Either make the tree good and it's fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit." (Matthew 12:33)
In other words, we will know if someone is "truly a believer" if they produce the right kind of fruit in their lives, right? Seems like an easy concept. But something I wonder about is, "Exactly how much of our fruit to do we have to leave out on display in order for others to be 'convinced'?"
In other words, how do we balance:
Matthew 6:3 -- "When you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing." (Keep it between you and the Lord,) versus:
Matthew 10:14 -- "And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet." I know this verse is talking about the preaching of the Gospel, but I think it can also be applied to this situation as well -- please let me explain.
I have stated several times on the forum that one of my biggest challenges in my own Christian walk is that others within the church have deemed me "not Christian enough," and then try to strong-arm me into being more like what they believe is a Christian. This is a good part as to why I've become so strong-willed myself. I actively resist people who are more interested in making me like them (or into something they would like) and want me to do the things they want me to do rather than what I believe God is calling me to be.
One of the many reasons I am single is because I haven't been able to "prove myself" to be "enough of a Christian" to many who seem to demand proof. It's never enough for me to just be myself -- I do way too much of this, and way too little of that. I've been told that I talk to people way too much about their lives and situations and beliefs, rather than bombarding them right away with Scripture, which is what they feel I should be doing (and they won't listen to me when I try to explain that I personally find getting to really know a person to be the best way to lead into talking about Jesus in the first place.) It's just the way I think God built me.
One of the best examples I can think of is several years agowhen I was exchanging messages with a gentleman on a Christian web site. He had expressed interest in continuing to talk and eventually meet if things went in that direction... We were communicating in autumn, with the holidays being right around the corner. And then one day he wrote that he was no longer interested in talking to me because he had noticed that I use the phrase, "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas."
I tried to explain to him that for much of my life, my family and friends have all been long-distance and I rarely get to see or talk to them, so if I'm talking to someone right before all the major holidays are about to hit, then yes, I most certainly say, "Happy Holidays"! But he wouldn't listen to me, and instead gave me a big lecture about how I wasn't keeping Christ in Christmas and was obviously much too worldly for him to talk to.
No worries and no loss, and I totally understand. I would never want someone to continue talking to me if they felt I was somehow a threat to their faith -- henceforth, "shaking off the dust" and moving on, for both him, and for me.
But one of the biggest problems I've run into continually within the dating world is always being asked in some way, whether subtle or outright, if I'm "Christian enough" to meet the other person's demands.
It got to be so bad that I actually started keeping lists of the various versions of the Bible I had read entirely through, the classes I took, the ministries I participate in, and the charities I support, not as a brag sheet but to act as a simple self-defense against people who demand "proof" as to why I call myself a Christian.
I see it as being like a vaccine passport -- you have to absolutely PROVE that you check off enough boxes to qualify as having enough, or the right kind of fruit, or you are denied any further right to express yourself.
* How can I keep what I'm doing just between the Lord and myself when other Christians seem to constantly demand (not just ask) for tangible "proof" that's "good enough" to meet their "requirements"?
Even if you say you support a charity, that's definitely not good enough, because you will then receive a lecture on why most charities are criminal (which I do understand,) or that you should be giving that money to the church instead.
And I'm sure I'm not the only person who encounters this.
* How do you all deal with people who demand a visible, material proof of the fruit you are producing in your life?
* How much of your fruit do you allow people to see?
* And if someone demands further proof, what do you do? (Try your best to "prove yourself," or shake the dust off your feet and move on?) Why or why not?
What's that old saying... "Misery loves company?"
I would love to hear your stories about having to "prove yourself a Christian" and how God has taught you to handle it.
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