Unyoked marriage

Hi, dear brothers and sisters.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. (...)" 2 Cor 6:14

"To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." 1 Cor 7:12-15

So, this was the Biblical way to start what I´m about to share with you, my dear brethren. It may be a bit long, so please, bear with me.

My wife and I know each other for more than 20 years. Still, by the common things of life, professional issues, we never spoke or seen again until 5 years ago. We encountered again for professional reasons.

However, and very important to consider is that, when we met again, I was on a very bad period of my life, because of the end of the relation with my ex-girlfriend/fiancé. It was throught a 3 year relationship with her that I found our dear Lord. We were compatible in many ways. We were both christians, we had the same political ideas, but, the relationship was somehow not good. In my mind, I though the Lord had put ther in my life to find Him and that she would be my wife. That didn´t happen. It took me much time to realize the answer I was always asking God: "Lord, if You put her in my life, if we both praise you, even in spite of our relationship, if we were talking about marrying, why did it end?" I suffered a lot, and, eventually, one day the answer came to my mind: "God didn´t put her in my life for her to be my wife. He put her in my wife to be the way, throught love, to find Him. That was her function."

Backing to my wife, I was still healing myself from my previous relationship, and I grew very much in knowledge and relation with the Lord during that suffering. So, meeting my wife again we started to feel attracted to each other and end up falling in love, but didn´t star dating. Why? We both knew that I was a passionate Christian, with Right wing political ideas (I know find myself in the Christian Democracy), and she was atheist and Communist. We both had the feeling that it wouldn´t a good idea to date. But, eventually we start dating. Of course, conflicts happened but, we loved each other. After some time, we decided to marry. So, we have already 4 years of marriage and a beautiful baby girl of 2 years old.

Conflits arose, sometimes because of political questions but also by religion. I admit that in the beggining I went all in with showing her the Word and, since I also love Apologetics, went that way also. Nothing happen, she got even worse. Sometimes things went a bit hard, but eventually we forgave each other. With time, she began to tolerate more my faith and even encouraged me to find a church and even went with me from her free will. This, before our child was born. After that we had a new problem: how was she going to be raised? By her father´s view or by her mother´s? That, with time, end up to be tolerated also by her (in fact it was her idea) to put her in a christian nursery and after that, it´s probable that she may go to the same christian school in the next years. They will start teaching them christian topics, etc, almost like Sunday School. I´m a former Catholic and a Protestant follower of Christ since 2011, when I met by ex. Now, my wife has no problem that I teach our daughter things about Christ, even take her to church. That´s another issue, I´m without church for about 5 years. Still, she encourages me to go and even say that she will go with me, not by faith, but simply to go with me.

She likes to see movies about Jesus in the Easter, we recently saw 5 movies ("Breakthrough", "God is not dead 1, 2 and 3" and "The case of Christ"). Still, nothing. She says she may be wrong, that Christianity may be true and God may exist, but she simply don´t believe because she was taught that way and she´s happy as she is, and that I´m forcing her to be a different person.

And here´s and issue: her father, is her "god". He´s is a former Catholic that, by serious problems he had in life became anti-church and atheist and raised her that way. So, well, she says "This is what I am. I don´t believe. I can´t believe. Maybe I lack something or miss any intelectual thing, but I don´t believe! If want to search for God, I know what to do. But I don´t believe."

I pray for her everyday, for God to touch her heart. I´ve doing this for quite a while and that are days I lose hope. Question is: he tolerates my beliefs and even encourages me to find a church. But she can´t understand what is to be so passionate about Christ and don´t have someone in our side that can´t undertstand that love and that it´s the most important thing (God). Is the same as speaking to a wall.

My wife is a wounderful woman. She´s wise, very humble, honest, hard worker and a supermom. Se loves me and takes care of me, just like I love her and take care of her. I will never divorce my wife just because she´s not a believer. I have to find a church because I feel that God is not as close (by my fault) as it was before having her in my life. I´m now also going through a bad time (depression due to covid in family. Her parents had covid, and in spite of their age and having many health problems, they miraculolasly survived. I prayed a lot for them. Of course, to her it was all the doctors work and not God´s). She´s only child and for 2 months she had to take care of them and be in their house, far from her daughter and me. I had to take care of my baby girl alone and to manage her emotions, fears, etc. That ended up affecting me too. To make thing worse I also have professional burnout according to my psiquiatrist and psichologist. Depression and burnout.

This would be a time to have a spouse that would worshisp God and prayed with me, in a Christ centered marriage. Still, she takes care of me and is very very kind to me.

A frined of mine, also a christian, keeps telling me that I made no sin marrying her and that it was part of God purpose for me to marry her for my wife end up being a christian. He keeps saying that he sees signs of a slow conversion of my wife and that I have to stop "chocking" her with the Word and Apologetics, either be it in conversation or movies.

I don´t know. Sometimes I ask forgiveness to the Lord because I feel I sinned marrying her. And still, in is His love and kindness, He gaves me/us a beautiful and healthy daughter.

I won´t lose hope and I´ll keep praying. And I also know I´ll continue to love ant try to respect my wife the best I can.

If possible, dear brothers and sisters, pray also for her and her father for them to find Jesus, and how marvellous is to have Him in our life.


Thank you.

Blessings!

I’m staying pure until marriage

First, I'm so sorry for the depression and burnout you're feeling. It must be so hard. I see your wife's potential conversion as a matter of waiting on the Lord. I don't think you need to try so hard to convert her, as it may only cause conflict, but just keep praying and being a godly man. "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. (James 5:16). The Lord may be teaching you patience among other things. I wish you the best!

God's will or not, you are married and God has allowed it. You are already forgiven. That's not an issue. Depression is a terrible thing. I'm prone to it myself. I know that I bring it on by thinking about myself and/or looking at my past experiences. I've learned to cut that out. We need to see things as God sees. How does He look at us? Someone famous said that if God had a fridge, He'd have a magnet with our picture on it. Not quite. When God looks at us, He sees Jesus. We died and our lives are hidden in Christ with God. God finds no fault in His Son! That does not mean that we are without problems. But they are external, not the real us. We are new creations but some things from the old life still cling to us. Like Lazarus coming out of the tomb, we need to be freed from the "wrappings" that death imposed on us. That is the delivering work of the Lord Jesus. As we trust Him completely, He will set us free. All He needs from us is our cooperation and willingness.

Your situation is certainly difficult. There are many resources available to help people in your circumstances. Below is a link to a site for those who are married to a non-believing spouse.

May God bless you as you obey His Son.

https://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/significant-resources.html

I'll keep things simple. Without going over your vows, you vowed to serve your wife.

it is because of your daughter that God has you raise as a believer, and it maybe through your daughter that your wife finds Him.

Of course its not easy but do count your blessings. Many couples get too caught up in their own relationship differences with each other and then seem to neglect or forget their relationships with their own children.

There may be a wall between you and your wife but your daughter is the bridge. All that is required is you to love her as God has made her holy. It is often funny when believers marry unbelievers yet all their children actually turn out to be believers.

It is rarely that children turn out to be unbelievers if one parent is a believer. Why, because they can see the joy the believing parent has (even through adversity) as a contrast to the unbelieving parent. Easy enough choice to make but also, its no contest to see how faith wins out.

it is because of your daughter that God has you raise as a believer, and it maybe through your daughter that your wife finds Him.

Of course its not easy but do count your blessings. Many couples get too caught up in their own relationship differences with each other and then seem to neglect or forget their relationships with their own children.

There may be a wall between you and your wife but your daughter is the bridge. All that is required is you to love her as God has made her holy. It is often funny when believers marry unbelievers yet all their children actually turn out to be believers.

It is rarely that children turn out to be unbelievers if one parent is a believer. Why, because they can see the joy the believing parent has (even through adversity) as a contrast to the unbelieving parent. Easy enough choice to make but also, its no contest to see how faith wins out.

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what's your point. Are you saying that I have to love and serve my wife or that I sinned by marrying an atheist and decided to ignore God?

Blessings!

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what's your point. Are you saying that I have to love and serve my wife or that I sinned by marrying an atheist and decided to ignore God?

Blessings!

You didn't sin by marrying an atheist but rather that was a choice that you made. The bible is clear that in cases of an unyoke marriage that you stay the course and set a good Christian example for the unbelieving spouse. Based on your posts I would say that your wife is dong a good job in being a wife and mother despite not being a Christian. Do the best job that you can, with the grace of God to be a good husband and a father. This is your choice now.

My point is that you made vows to your wife, but your vows were before God. As I understand the Bible . . . we do not recant on vows . . . ever. Whatever promises you made to your wife, you are obligated to keep them.

I see. Understood. Thank you for the explanation.


Blessings!

I'm doing my best to keep them and hope to be doing things the right way.

Thank you.


Blessings!

Hi, dear brothers and sisters.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. (...)" 2 Cor 6:14

"To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." 1 Cor 7:12-15

So, this was the Biblical way to start what I´m about to share with you, my dear brethren. It may be a bit long, so please, bear with me.

My wife and I know each other for more than 20 years. Still, by the common things of life, professional issues, we never spoke or seen again until 5 years ago. We encountered again for professional reasons.

However, and very important to consider is that, when we met again, I was on a very bad period of my life, because of the end of the relation with my ex-girlfriend/fiancé. It was throught a 3 year relationship with her that I found our dear Lord. We were compatible in many ways. We were both christians, we had the same political ideas, but, the relationship was somehow not good. In my mind, I though the Lord had put ther in my life to find Him and that she would be my wife. That didn´t happen. It took me much time to realize the answer I was always asking God: "Lord, if You put her in my life, if we both praise you, even in spite of our relationship, if we were talking about marrying, why did it end?" I suffered a lot, and, eventually, one day the answer came to my mind: "God didn´t put her in my life for her to be my wife. He put her in my wife to be the way, throught love, to find Him. That was her function."

Backing to my wife, I was still healing myself from my previous relationship, and I grew very much in knowledge and relation with the Lord during that suffering. So, meeting my wife again we started to feel attracted to each other and end up falling in love, but didn´t star dating. Why? We both knew that I was a passionate Christian, with Right wing political ideas (I know find myself in the Christian Democracy), and she was atheist and Communist. We both had the feeling that it wouldn´t a good idea to date. But, eventually we start dating. Of course, conflicts happened but, we loved each other. After some time, we decided to marry. So, we have already 4 years of marriage and a beautiful baby girl of 2 years old.

Conflits arose, sometimes because of political questions but also by religion. I admit that in the beggining I went all in with showing her the Word and, since I also love Apologetics, went that way also. Nothing happen, she got even worse. Sometimes things went a bit hard, but eventually we forgave each other. With time, she began to tolerate more my faith and even encouraged me to find a church and even went with me from her free will. This, before our child was born. After that we had a new problem: how was she going to be raised? By her father´s view or by her mother´s? That, with time, end up to be tolerated also by her (in fact it was her idea) to put her in a christian nursery and after that, it´s probable that she may go to the same christian school in the next years. They will start teaching them christian topics, etc, almost like Sunday School. I´m a former Catholic and a Protestant follower of Christ since 2011, when I met by ex. Now, my wife has no problem that I teach our daughter things about Christ, even take her to church. That´s another issue, I´m without church for about 5 years. Still, she encourages me to go and even say that she will go with me, not by faith, but simply to go with me.

She likes to see movies about Jesus in the Easter, we recently saw 5 movies ("Breakthrough", "God is not dead 1, 2 and 3" and "The case of Christ"). Still, nothing. She says she may be wrong, that Christianity may be true and God may exist, but she simply don´t believe because she was taught that way and she´s happy as she is, and that I´m forcing her to be a different person.

And here´s and issue: her father, is her "god". He´s is a former Catholic that, by serious problems he had in life became anti-church and atheist and raised her that way. So, well, she says "This is what I am. I don´t believe. I can´t believe. Maybe I lack something or miss any intelectual thing, but I don´t believe! If want to search for God, I know what to do. But I don´t believe."

I pray for her everyday, for God to touch her heart. I´ve doing this for quite a while and that are days I lose hope. Question is: he tolerates my beliefs and even encourages me to find a church. But she can´t understand what is to be so passionate about Christ and don´t have someone in our side that can´t undertstand that love and that it´s the most important thing (God). Is the same as speaking to a wall.

My wife is a wounderful woman. She´s wise, very humble, honest, hard worker and a supermom. Se loves me and takes care of me, just like I love her and take care of her. I will never divorce my wife just because she´s not a believer. I have to find a church because I feel that God is not as close (by my fault) as it was before having her in my life. I´m now also going through a bad time (depression due to covid in family. Her parents had covid, and in spite of their age and having many health problems, they miraculolasly survived. I prayed a lot for them. Of course, to her it was all the doctors work and not God´s). She´s only child and for 2 months she had to take care of them and be in their house, far from her daughter and me. I had to take care of my baby girl alone and to manage her emotions, fears, etc. That ended up affecting me too. To make thing worse I also have professional burnout according to my psiquiatrist and psichologist. Depression and burnout.

This would be a time to have a spouse that would worshisp God and prayed with me, in a Christ centered marriage. Still, she takes care of me and is very very kind to me.

A frined of mine, also a christian, keeps telling me that I made no sin marrying her and that it was part of God purpose for me to marry her for my wife end up being a christian. He keeps saying that he sees signs of a slow conversion of my wife and that I have to stop "chocking" her with the Word and Apologetics, either be it in conversation or movies.

I don´t know. Sometimes I ask forgiveness to the Lord because I feel I sinned marrying her. And still, in is His love and kindness, He gaves me/us a beautiful and healthy daughter.

I won´t lose hope and I´ll keep praying. And I also know I´ll continue to love ant try to respect my wife the best I can.

If possible, dear brothers and sisters, pray also for her and her father for them to find Jesus, and how marvellous is to have Him in our life.


Thank you.

Blessings!