Dear Ladies: You Can’t Custom Order A Husband Like You Can A Starbucks Drink

I remember in high school the 'in crowd' girls would tell the boys they didnt want to go out with 'you can't afford me'

I'm just going to throw in here that too often we approach the decision of who to marry as looking for a completed project rather than a work in progress. Maybe it's not so much about what someone's life is now as about the trajectory for life that they're setting themselves on ( maybe that matters with age as you have a whole lot more growth and development time at 20 than you do at 60 or 70).

What happens when they don’t get their way?

In many places, it is not illegal to view porn. What, exactly, would you report?

I actually had a girl tell me that when I was like 13/14'ish she said it very loudly... my reply was "oh sorry I don't mess with truck stop prostitutes." also said very loudly.... things did not end well for her.

She learned one lesson, don't try and dog on someone who will go nuclear first strike.

possesion of porn, sexual assault, paedophilia, sex without consent. harassment, predator behaviour. if its a minor, soliciting, sexual exploitation...harrasment particularly of children under 18. Inappropriate beahviour.

In many workplaces it is ILLEGAL. Workers have a right to be safe from sexual harm.
Many workplaces also have police vetting.

Possesion of porn isn't illegal (unless it's child porn, but unless the participants are prepubescent it can be difficult to tell if that woman is over 18 or not ( people mistook me for 18 when I was 13 and I wasn't even trying to look older) though most of those other things are. Then again you have to prove things like harassment and that can be difficult to do if you don't keep good notes or have recordings or something as proof. No one is arguing porn is good; but as it isn't criminal there isn't much the police can do.

As for the workplaces, most places you have a policy of not using work internet or computers to look at inappropriate materials and a lot of them have some sort of firewall and filter to make sure of it. But if I understood one of the network manager gals at work, that's as much because the business can be sued by an employee for having an "unsafe" evironment as it is concern for the workers. Personally I've always thought that if you couldn't wait till after work to look at your porn you had bigger issues. So if I understand things correctly you can get fired for looking at porn at work but it's not a crime so you can't be arrested. And since it isn't a crime, porn use won't show on any police background check.

What happens when they don’t get their way?

Nobody will ever know. Their husbands are too meek and passive to ever put the theory to the test.

Just for speculation, I would guess Thunderbolts and lightning would happen.

Porn is already normalized nowadays in X-rated movies/shows, so it would be impossible to find watching 18+ porn illegal. I watched a very popular drama series awhile ago, about corruption in the 1920s Atlantic City area, and there is a lot of nudity and porn (without the closeups) in that series. I also watched this drama series about brothels in 1700s London, a lot of nudity/porn there too. Even popular movies, such as Fast Times, American Pie, Fifty Shades are shown on cable TV and have porn in those movies.

there is a lot of child porn out there
im just saying.

its criminal. the porn industry is built on getting underage or girls without consent. Mostly forced into it, even over age.

Dont be naive.

I should distinguish here... I have seen different kinds of meek, passive husbands.

I have seen the kind that is henpecked, browbeaten, submissive and nervous. He always looks like he's worried he will say something wrong and get berated again.

Then there's the kind I've seen who is complacent, content and at peace with the world. He is glad to leave all the decisions to his wife while he just tags along. He leads what looks like a very peaceful life.

Ok, full disclaimer, I'm married. But I saw this post on my FB feed and it's getting a lot of feedback. So here is the article,


https://thefederalist.com/2021/05/0...der-a-husband-like-you-can-a-starbucks-drink/

Now when I was single I spent a lot of years traveling and really didn't think about everything I wanted in a man, other than being a Christian. It was a back burner thing for me. But within this article is a link to an article another woman posted "Single Ladies List." Now from the perspective of a married lady I had a chuckle that this. And I thought it's no wonder men are so confused about what women want, I think they are confused themselves. The list is huge, but I want to try and post some and start a discussion, for both sides, about expectations in marriage. I look forward to seeing the answers. Here we go...


Boo must be:


1. -Expressive of love and devotion and affirmation of me

2. -Emotionally expressive, romantic, demonstrative in gifts and gestures

3. -Fun to be around

4.-Confident but not arrogant or cocky or unhealthily charming/too flirtatious

5. -Not afraid to pursue me, or if he is, he still does diligently

6. -Quirky, non-boring sense of humor

7. -Present, not distracted

8. -Easy to be around

9. -Curiosity about me, to study and know and understand and best love me, an interest in where I’ve come from and what makes me me

10. -Unafraid to affirm and show affection

11. -Great listener

12. -Is clear about his priority of me

13. -Sensitive and aware

14. -Not an approval addict , -Not an attention addict

15. -Notices and pays attention to little things: dates, anniversaries, details, places that are significant to us and me and him

16. -Values my words and contributions to conversation

17.-Pays attention to me when with friends, wants to serve and be near

18.-Sentimental and soft-hearted

19.-Rugged and appreciates nature and beauty

20.-Writes notes and communicates love regularly

21. -Whimsical and cares about living a great story together

22, -Loves children, old people, friends, family, lingering

23. -Regularly shows me affection in various ways and reminds me he’s thinking of me

24. -Supportive always, even in disagreement

25. -Cares deeply about my wounds

26. -Nurtures, loves and promotes my voice literally and figuratively

27. -Recognizes and respects my physical limitations with great love and sympathy

28.-Cares about and prioritizes and sacrifices for my needs

29. --Cares about my experiences with romance, loss, sense of curse, feelings of worthlessness, knows and tends to wounds

30. -Hunger to understand my background influences and experiences

31. -Not patriarchal

32. -Great with money

33. -Willing/adventurous eater -Loves exploring -Loves eating out, enjoys little luxuries -Plans vacations and trips with and for me

34. -Loves to cook with me and for me



Ok, this even all her list, but these are some of the interesting things she posted. I'd like to hear your opinions on this.