Family quarreling

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999ys

New member
Apr 13, 2021
6
2
1
#1
I am a 23-year-old girl who has just graduated from university. Our family always quarrels. It seems to be a war between my parents and me. Sometimes I don’t understand my parents’ ideas and they don’t understand me. Each other seems to be enemies. It's hard to talk together. Now we almost don't talk because we know what each other will say. When my parents are accusing me, I don't think they love me. I feel lack of support.I always feel bored alone at home,
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,283
1,686
113
#2
I am a 23-year-old girl who has just graduated from university. Our family always quarrels. It seems to be a war between my parents and me. Sometimes I don’t understand my parents’ ideas and they don’t understand me. Each other seems to be enemies. It's hard to talk together. Now we almost don't talk because we know what each other will say. When my parents are accusing me, I don't think they love me. I feel lack of support.I always feel bored alone at home,
What do they accuse you of?

My son (11 years) and I tend to argue. A lot of it comes from misunderstandings/miscommunication. But no matter how angry or frustrated I get, I love him. I'm sure your parents feel the same. We don't just stop loving our kids.
 

Platosgal

Active member
Mar 17, 2020
282
179
43
#3
Pray for peace
Do an experiment
For the next 30 days
First thing in the morning, say a prayer for your mom and dad
Just pray for their needs
Their comfort
The peace of the family
And your peace
Let me know what happens in 30 days
If you want I will pray for your family
Just reply to this and If you want me to agree with you..every morning for 30 days - I will agree in prayer and believe for you, with you
 

999ys

New member
Apr 13, 2021
6
2
1
#4
Pray for peace
Do an experiment
For the next 30 days
First thing in the morning, say a prayer for your mom and dad
Just pray for their needs
Their comfort
The peace of the family
And your peace
Let me know what happens in 30 days
If you want I will pray for your family
Just reply to this and If you want me to agree with you..every morning for 30 days - I will agree in prayer and believe for you, with you
thank you very much!i dont know there is endless quer
What do they accuse you of?

My son (11 years) and I tend to argue. A lot of it comes from misunderstandings/miscommunication. But no matter how angry or frustrated I get, I love him. I'm sure your parents feel the same. We don't just stop loving our kids.
thank you!Genipher!we never express our love to each outher ,but said many complainning words
 

999ys

New member
Apr 13, 2021
6
2
1
#5
Pray for peace
Do an experiment
For the next 30 days
First thing in the morning, say a prayer for your mom and dad
Just pray for their needs
Their comfort
The peace of the family
And your peace
Let me know what happens in 30 days
If you want I will pray for your family
Just reply to this and If you want me to agree with you..every morning for 30 days - I will agree in prayer and believe for you, with you
yes ,i need it ! and thank you for offering help to us!my parents and i both can harldy feel love from each other ,we are in a torn relationship.all i can remember is What my father accused me of and my mom said that It would be great if she didn't give birth to me.my heart feels broken and unbelieveble to hear this.......I long for mom's love...
 

999ys

New member
Apr 13, 2021
6
2
1
#6
thank you very much!i dont know there is endless quer

thank you!Genipher!we never express our love to each outher ,but said many complainning words
ˆˆunbelievebel that a 11 years old child can argue with you ˆˆhe must have talevted speaking skills (just kidding ,dont mind )
 

Platosgal

Active member
Mar 17, 2020
282
179
43
#7
yes ,i need it ! and thank you for offering help to us!my parents and i both can harldy feel love from each other ,we are in a torn relationship.all i can remember is What my father accused me of and my mom said that It would be great if she didn't give birth to me.my heart feels broken and unbelieveble to hear this.......I long for mom's love...
What is your first name? Or nic name So I can pray for you this morning
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#8
thats terrible

well to share--
I recall when I was fresh out of university though I managed to get a job soon after. I think it when I was unemployed and couldnt find a job that led to quarrels, because my parents didnt want me to do the same job they did.

Thing is if you graduated university they worked hard to pay for it so that you could have a better job (i.e more paid) than they did seems to be reasoning. But in reality it doesnt work out that way. Sometimes you come out of uni and you MIGHT get a better job but you'll still get paid minimum wage in most jobs....

If your parents never went to uni and you did, they wont understand all the things you learned there. Not to say they dont love you, its just they dont have the level of education you have now.
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
9,179
4,746
113
#9
" Fragmented families have become a disturbing occurrence. With all the disturbing
events being witnessed, families are experiencing emotional instability in all walks of life.
And, a great falling away from God adds to the dilemma. The younger generation may fail
to understand the concerns of the older generation, and how disturbing things have become,
and often causing emotional anxiety. Families at odds with one another can only be worked out
with love and understanding. I hope and pray your family, and many others come to learn of God's
love, and strive to comfort one another. Strife, being physically and emotionally troubling."
 

Attachments

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
59,910
29,289
113
#10
ˆˆunbelievebel that a 11 years old child can argue with you ˆˆhe must have talevted speaking skills (just kidding ,dont mind )
One of the first words a child learns is "no."

Saying no to a parent's request is arguing. It starts very young.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#11
I am a 23-year-old girl who has just graduated from university. Our family always quarrels. It seems to be a war between my parents and me. Sometimes I don’t understand my parents’ ideas and they don’t understand me. Each other seems to be enemies. It's hard to talk together. Now we almost don't talk because we know what each other will say. When my parents are accusing me, I don't think they love me. I feel lack of support.I always feel bored alone at home,
Do you have your own place or are your staying with your parents?
If you have your own place and pay your own bills and are not dependant upon your parents, it's time to tell them that you are managing your own life and that you love them but the are crossing the boundaries.
If you are staying with them, you need to either do what they tell you and stop arguing with them, or move out and get ya own place.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,283
1,686
113
#12
One of the first words a child learns is "no."

Saying no to a parent's request is arguing. It starts very young.
Yup. You're 100% correct.

I could highjack this thread with my kid issues but...I won't. lol.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,771
113
#13
I am a 23-year-old girl who has just graduated from university. Our family always quarrels. It seems to be a war between my parents and me. Sometimes I don’t understand my parents’ ideas and they don’t understand me. Each other seems to be enemies. It's hard to talk together. Now we almost don't talk because we know what each other will say. When my parents are accusing me, I don't think they love me. I feel lack of support. I always feel bored alone at home,
There is probably fault on both sides. So first of all you need to be clear yourself whether (1) you have been saved by grace, (2) you are living for God and Christ, and (3) you are showing Christian love to your parents (which includes honoring them rather than arguing with them).

If you have just graduated from university, chances are you have been indoctrinated with all kinds of liberal, anti-Christian and Communistic ideas. However, if your parents are conservative (in every way) and are also Christians, they will automatically be in conflict with all the Leftist nonsense. So you also need to ask yourself if you have become a Leftist liberal.

As long as you are at home, you are under their authority (regardless of age). So you have to make up your mind as to (1) whether you are you going to pursue a Leftist lifestyle (if that is the case), and (2) whether you are going to find your own accommodation (with your own income), and leave your parents to their lifestyle and their lives. You are technically an adult, but may not be one mentally or emotionally. Only God knows your spiritual condition.

If your parents did not love you, they would not trying to be put you on the right track. Chances are they supported you through university. So now you have to take a good hard look at yourself.
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#14
I am a 23-year-old girl who has just graduated from university. Our family always quarrels. It seems to be a war between my parents and me. Sometimes I don’t understand my parents’ ideas and they don’t understand me. Each other seems to be enemies. It's hard to talk together. Now we almost don't talk because we know what each other will say. When my parents are accusing me, I don't think they love me. I feel lack of support.I always feel bored alone at home,
Are both you and your parents professing Christians?
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#15
One of the first words a child learns is "no."

Saying no to a parent's request is arguing. It starts very young.
Yes, this is true. It is correctable, no need to detail this thread.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,846
4,503
113
#16
I am a 23-year-old girl who has just graduated from university. Our family always quarrels. It seems to be a war between my parents and me. Sometimes I don’t understand my parents’ ideas and they don’t understand me. Each other seems to be enemies. It's hard to talk together. Now we almost don't talk because we know what each other will say. When my parents are accusing me, I don't think they love me. I feel lack of support.I always feel bored alone at home,
What are the ideas you and your parents fight over?
 

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
370
63
The Garden of Weeden
#17
When I was younger my parents and I didn't get along. I honestly thought they didn't love me. Then one day, I overheard my dad standing up for me to another person who was accusing me of something I would NEVER do, and my opinion started to change. They just expected more from me than I was offering, and it drove them bonkers.
I am not saying this is what your family is experiencing, but sometimes things aren't what we think they are. Pray that God makes you who HE needs you to be. to protect you and to lead you to who you need to show you love. Then let God control your family life. Even if it never gets better, you will know God is in control of your life.
 

beacha

New member
Apr 24, 2021
13
8
3
#18
999yrs - I hear your pain, your distress and your frustration.
I know that God cares about you so much and wants you to live your best life
He has a purpose and plan for you, you are His beloved child whom he loves
You've finished Uni - congratulations.
arguments can tears you down, God will build you up his love will and does endure
wondering how it might be to do something different
instead of arguing back - turn your cheek in a different way
and say I can hear what you are saying however lets sit down and pray together instead
If you give people an argument or a reason that you disagree with them then its like handing over a weapon to go to war
but God wants us to bring His love and peace and kindness
you won't change your parents minds by argumenting with them
listen to them.
then
Be Still and know that He is God.
He is with you, He understands.
Don't go on the attack. instead invite them to take their concerns to God.
refuse to engage in an argument instead pray about the issues and let them pray too
but Do not let the sun go down on your anger.
pray and then let it go. The issue is in God's hands
and await on His guiding. Then take some quiet time - walk, withdraw and do something you enjoy.
rest and await on His leading. bring His peace to the situation not war.
if they continue to argue suggest mediation from someone from your church, or spiritual elder or friend.
God bless you.
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#19
yes ,i need it ! and thank you for offering help to us!my parents and i both can harldy feel love from each other ,we are in a torn relationship.all i can remember is What my father accused me of and my mom said that It would be great if she didn't give birth to me.my heart feels broken and unbelieveble to hear this.......I long for mom's love...
Verbal and emotional abuse. I grew up with this too. It's horrible.

Is there a way you can stay somewhere else for a while? Am sorry you going through this