I want to give Elohim all the honour and glory for saving me...
Growing up, my parents were alcholics and my father would beat my mother and I. Eventually they divorced and my siblings and I were separated. At the age of 11, I was sexually molested by a man from the local Anglican church, this went on for about 2 years. At the age of 18, I came to faith in Christ but I soon fell away from the path after I got married.
A lot of the trauma that I had endured as a child was not dealt with and the realisation of having a family of my own threw me into a tailspin. I was illequiped to be a husband and father. The pressure of family life and my unresolved trauma became too much to handle so I turned to alcohol. My wife and I were married 12 years before she divorced me and for 10 of those 12 years I was a raging alcohol, never able to hold a stable job, abusive towards my family, self-destructive and hating myself to death. I had actually developed such a strong self hate that used to physically hurt myself. Once I had cut my wrist requiring me to have reconstructive surgery to my ligaments and another occasion I banged my own head against the wall splitting my skin on my skull, I needed stiches for that too. I was really bad. And my wife tried her best and but eventually it had been through enough and she divorced me in 2018.
It was during this divorce period when I reached the end of my line. The realisation that I was losing everything caused me to hate myself even more and I wanted to die. I had tried to kill myself many times before but it had always been half-hearted attempts. Looking back I see now how it was only by God's grace that I am still alive. Eventually, I found help with my addiction through a church and it was there when I came back to faith in Christ and found complete healing and deliverance from my addiction - I have been sober for 3 years now and I'm loving every minute!
One month after our divorve and after I had made my recovery from my addiction, God began the restoration work of our marraige and in December 2020, my wife (who also has come to faith in Christ) and I recomitted to His covenant and were remarried. We have a long way to go, we've lost everything. BUT what we have lost in this world is NOTHING compared to what we have gained in Jesus Christ!
Looking back now, I think of all the times I should've been dead! They are too numerous to count and most of it I still dont remember. It was only through His grace that He showed me that I may not deserve grace and love but He gives it anyway, that because He created me, I am lovable. Jesus has healed me from so many stronholds and still continues His work in me.
So I give Elohim all the honour and glory and praise for what He has done in my life. I say thank you Adonai! Thank you for saving me! Thank you. I praise your glorious name! You heard my anguish! You are El Roi, you saw me! Thank you Adonai, that what you have done for me, hou can and will do for others too!
Thank you, Father, that I was never forsaken!
Growing up, my parents were alcholics and my father would beat my mother and I. Eventually they divorced and my siblings and I were separated. At the age of 11, I was sexually molested by a man from the local Anglican church, this went on for about 2 years. At the age of 18, I came to faith in Christ but I soon fell away from the path after I got married.
A lot of the trauma that I had endured as a child was not dealt with and the realisation of having a family of my own threw me into a tailspin. I was illequiped to be a husband and father. The pressure of family life and my unresolved trauma became too much to handle so I turned to alcohol. My wife and I were married 12 years before she divorced me and for 10 of those 12 years I was a raging alcohol, never able to hold a stable job, abusive towards my family, self-destructive and hating myself to death. I had actually developed such a strong self hate that used to physically hurt myself. Once I had cut my wrist requiring me to have reconstructive surgery to my ligaments and another occasion I banged my own head against the wall splitting my skin on my skull, I needed stiches for that too. I was really bad. And my wife tried her best and but eventually it had been through enough and she divorced me in 2018.
It was during this divorce period when I reached the end of my line. The realisation that I was losing everything caused me to hate myself even more and I wanted to die. I had tried to kill myself many times before but it had always been half-hearted attempts. Looking back I see now how it was only by God's grace that I am still alive. Eventually, I found help with my addiction through a church and it was there when I came back to faith in Christ and found complete healing and deliverance from my addiction - I have been sober for 3 years now and I'm loving every minute!
One month after our divorve and after I had made my recovery from my addiction, God began the restoration work of our marraige and in December 2020, my wife (who also has come to faith in Christ) and I recomitted to His covenant and were remarried. We have a long way to go, we've lost everything. BUT what we have lost in this world is NOTHING compared to what we have gained in Jesus Christ!
Looking back now, I think of all the times I should've been dead! They are too numerous to count and most of it I still dont remember. It was only through His grace that He showed me that I may not deserve grace and love but He gives it anyway, that because He created me, I am lovable. Jesus has healed me from so many stronholds and still continues His work in me.
So I give Elohim all the honour and glory and praise for what He has done in my life. I say thank you Adonai! Thank you for saving me! Thank you. I praise your glorious name! You heard my anguish! You are El Roi, you saw me! Thank you Adonai, that what you have done for me, hou can and will do for others too!
Thank you, Father, that I was never forsaken!
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