Pastor tells wives if they let themselves go, their husbands will look elsewhere

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Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#21
There you go. If every husband on here gave a description of what they found attractive in a woman you'd have all kinds of answers. It's an assumption on this pastors part to think every man wants a wife that looks like Melania Trump, lovely as she is. That's not everyone's ideal. The problem with these type of pastors is they never mention the husband that has gained a tire around his waist because he sits at home and watches sports rather than plays them. My husband is 6'3 and 220 or so depending on the time of year ( I bake a lot during the holidays). He loves food and I love cooking and baking but he won't let me bake all year because he says he gains weight too quickly. I like him at the weight he is, he's a big guy and I like that. He'll never be wearing skinny jeans and tight tops, that's not his build and I'm not attracted to that. I think this pastor is a little on the immature side. The longer people are married the less they focus on the shallow things like looks.
Agree. I'm 6'-3" 275 I'm a big guy but I ain't lazy. I work, and don't have time for sports. I love my wife's cooking except she uses to much pasta. She bakes too. She is a big too, but I have seen time where her and I were keeping control of frightened horses all night long because of fire works, and that is a tough job. Farm work can be hard and long days and we have powered through barn building, fence building. Horse rescue in the middle of the night. There is a difference in being a plop and being big
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
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#22
Sounds like something my husband would say. My sister is skin over bones. She's had a lot of marriage issues and she's about starving herself to keep her husbands attention. My husband says she looks ill and like a young boy, no shape. So sad, I can't seem to reach her. Beautiful girl, but killing herself to be perfect in every way.
Sad
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#23
was this the same chubby pastor mentioned in a previous thread called Overweight preachers.
or the same hyporcrites who say women are not meant to gain weight ever are those same men who get women pregant in which...surprise...women do gain weight during pregnancy....
That preacher is a loon and not to be taken seriously.
 
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Live4Him

Guest
#24
The idea here is that men are visual, women are not. Which is not true. Men may be more visual, but women aren't blind. And I'm pretty sure I'm seein' pretty full cups of man boobs there. He's a long way from the place where he can call anyone out on looks and weight. Someone needs to buy him a mirror, and a scale.
...and a muzzle for his big, fat, stupid mouth.
 
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Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#25
If men in his congregation are indeed struggling with the visual appearance of their wife and it's a "stumbling block" for them then it needs to be addressed somehow. He probably could have spoke to the issue with more tact and grace.

I think this video is not representative of how the Bible would approach the topic, but it brings to the surface a truth about people in society. Through media propaganda, people are conditioned to seek an ideal that is not necessarily inline with what reality presents. It makes a lot of confused, frustrated, and unsatisfied people when they don't get their storybook/fairy tale dream marriage.

I think what he said is probably how a lot of people think. People actually do want their spouse to look good. If the propaganda in entertainment and advertising is dividing the family unit through philosophy of appearance then it should be condemned not reinforced.
Then you condemn the pop culture notions, but do it biblically.
Pastors need to hold to what the bible teaches.
 
Mar 4, 2020
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#26
Then you condemn the pop culture notions, but do it biblically.
Pastors need to hold to what the bible teaches.
Then address the root of the problem which is unspirituality, carnality, conforming to the pattern of the world, etc rather than just the symptoms.
 
Jul 9, 2020
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#27
Your body is not your own. It belongs to God. You're just the caretaker. If you don't take care of it, then you're not being a good caretaker. Men and women should stay in shape.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,606
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#28
Interesting discussion so far....

Regarding this particular preacher's words, the grain of his message may have had some merit, but he badly mishandled it.

Generally, is the job of preachers JUST to preach the Bible, or also to apply it to real life? I would say the latter. Some people say that a fat pastor has no business telling women they must be thin for their men. Okay, then whose business is it? According to the Bible, their own husbands!

"The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Cor. 7:4)

This is written in the context of sexual relations, but the principle holds more generally. If YOUR husband prefers you to be slender, you are a fool to get fat and/or stay fat. If YOUR wife prefers you to be a little chunky, you are a fool to starve yourself. If YOUR spouse truly doesn't care, then that's one less thing to concern you... be thankful.

It is in your own best interest to get healthy and stay healthy, and that will benefit your spouse in the long run. Is it anyone else's business? Usually, no, it isn't. However, a Christian pastor has the responsibility to speak to his flock generally about how to preserve the marriage bond. As a married person, one thing you can do to help preserve your marriage is to attain/maintain physical health. Should the pastor tell married people to love their own spouse regardless? Yes... of course, but does that mean he shouldn't tell the hard truths as well? Think on that seriously. If the pastor can't address a topic because some people are sensitive about it, then it's a sacred cow.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,801
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#30
If this pastor believes what he is preaching is biblical, then why did he seek counseling?
What he should've been doing is preaching Biblical marital fidelity.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,801
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#31
2 Cor 5:16
Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer.
 
S

SophieT

Guest
#32
4. This man should have had the guts to stick to his stance and not be browbeaten into a leave of absence. This is more of the Cancel Culture at work.

Actually, Tubby should put his own sermon to work on himself

I bet he couldn't walk up 2 flights of stairs without a rest in between

Cancel culture? I don't think so. Double standard? Seems like it
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,100
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#33
Nehemiah: "3. Social media should be simply ignored. It is the lowest common denominator. In fact Christians should BOYCOTT all social media." "I agree. I along with a lot of others have not understood why someone with a lot of money and knowhow hasn't created a Facebook type medium without all of the political correctness.
Sitting on social media saying people should boycott social media. 😂
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
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#34
Ok - I didn't listen to the message, but I think I've seen enough. What he said about keeping yourself fit - yeah - but it works both ways. But in no way shape or form should he have mentioned that men will go looking elsewhere.

The men just might go elsewhere - doesn't make it right. Men should not do that - God joined them together and nothing should tear it asunder. (Short of spouse abuse). But by saying that in a pulpit, it's like he was giving the green light to adultry with the excuse, well she just wasn't the woman I married. Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong.
any Pastor who tells another married woman what they must do to keep their man should tell that to their own wife. Age the body changes and you can only work out so much. There are many women who look good yet can't have sex anymore or can't afford the medical cost to treat other issues that come with age.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#35
Your body is not your own. It belongs to God. You're just the caretaker. If you don't take care of it, then you're not being a good caretaker. Men and women should stay in shape.
Round is a shape...
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
13,112
4,374
113
#36
Your body is not your own. It belongs to God. You're just the caretaker. If you don't take care of it, then you're not being a good caretaker. Men and women should stay in shape.
If you sow to the flesh you of the flesh will reap corruption. Paul said physical exercise profits little but Godliness profitable to all things.
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
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#37
I wonder what has become of that pastor (besides the suspension). The incident seems to have been "forgotten about", if you know what I mean.

My opinion on his sermon is, he was doing what the husbands of the women in his congregation should do (if they feel it's necessary). The pastor was actually usurping the husbands' authority, if you really stop to think about it........... :eek:
 
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Godsgirl83

Guest
#38
Wonder if that man has ever read Proverbs 31:30 :unsure:
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
827
239
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#39
I wonder what has become of that pastor (besides the suspension). The incident seems to have been "forgotten about", if you know what I mean.

My opinion on his sermon is, he was doing what the husbands of the women in his congregation should do (if they feel it's necessary). The pastor was actually usurping the husbands' authority, if you really stop to think about it........... :eek:
He resigned.

http://m.richmondfreepress.com/news/2021/mar/11/pastor-resigns-moderator-position-after-criticizin/
 
Mar 4, 2020
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#40
Let the secular world be the judge of what people in the church talk about? Form a digital mob and attack every fiber of his being over it? Convict him for the heinous and unforgivable crime of wrong think?

They're eating themselves alive now.