Post-fasting blues: feeling low

As you may know, I did a 21 day partial fast for my husband who is a non believer. I also was just searching and yearning for more connection and closeness with God.

I think about Jesus all the time. If I'm reading, its generally the Bible or a book about God. If I am watching videos, it's a sermon or testimony. If I listen to music, its worship music. Of course I am a sinful, fallen creature but I try my best to follow Him and wrestle with many decisions to make sure I am following God's path for my life. I pray for almost as much time as I am conscious and awake. I had reached a plateau in my faith and hoped that the fast would help break through some of those barriers. My pastor always says that if you can't feel God, it's on you as you aren't trying hard enough. I dont know how much harder I can try.

The fast ended on Saturday and I was expecting some kind of amazing move of God in my life to happen rightaway. I don't know why I feel so disappointed and surprised that things haven't changed radically. I know I am being silly and need to pull myself together but I have been crying out to God to move, and feel so deflated. I feel like during the fast, I poured myself out to Him and laid my deepest, innermost parts out to Him. So many vulnerabilities came to the surface and I shed a lot of tears. I feel like I really bore my heart and just exposed so much.

Silence.

I feel like I poured heart out to someone and they just changed the subject. I am usually so hope-filled and full of faith that nothing is impossible with God, that He is loving and takes all of our hurt. I am chasing and chasing Jesus and feel like I can't find Him. I cannot try any harder to seek His face. I feel so weepy and alone and just need some encouragement.

I went into the fast in the hope of interceding for my unbelieving husband, and came out of it wondering if he has a point in his unbelief.

Help!

Thanks for reading.

Hi, I see you are a very young Christian, only 2 years old (as a Christian), a "babe" in Christ!

God does not give great ministries or great revelations to young Christians, but to those who are "mature" i.e., in the faith, believers who have walked with Him (through trials and tribulations) over the years; we go from one level of faith to another, by His Grace, it is by His Grace that we go from "faith to faith" and not only by our own effort. John 1v14,16, Rom 1v17.

As a young Christian, many years ago, I did exactly the same thing you are doing now, seeking the Lord Jesus with great energy...and with the similar results...One thing I learnt was that we need variety in our lives, not everything in the world is detrimental to your Christian walk with the Lord Jesus, but indeed will enhance your walk with Him. Don't feel guilty about exercising (going for a run, or a walk with your loved one), or watching a good move or an uplifting TV program, etc., Our Dear Saviour is NOT a task master, but Gentle, and Lowly in Heart, Who wants you to enjoy your (eternal) walk with Him. Matt 11v28-30, John 15v9, 17v23, Eph 3v19.

I see your Irish, which part are you from, I'm from north of the border?

There is quite a bit more advice I could offer, but think a PM would be the best place to give it...

Yahweh Shalom...

Thanks very much for your reply, JB! I am feeling a lot better now and you are probably right in that I need to relax a bit. I am from the North too. Can I ask where you saw that I am Irish? Just wondering what info I am unwittingly sharing :-D

Sis, I don't really know what to say...but I understand how you feel about it ... My whole family needs God too 😢 hard to admit this but at some point I stopped praying and hoping for my family because of God's silence about my prayer... I get discouraged...

sister let us not give up for the salvation of our family... even if things don't go our way right now let's just Continue to trust God because He is still very much in control in everything.

If HE is silent right now it doesn't mean HE is not hearing us...

sometimes God works in ways we can't understand... But we know that God works all things together for good. 🙏


God bless you and your family ❤

Go into your profile and look under the tab "About", there is little or nothing showing in your profile, just where you're from and where you live now and when saved basically, certainly nothing that would cause a security concern...

I remember reading your other thread in which you stated that the idea for the fast came as a result of some coincidence which you took as a sign. And now it has ended in disappointment and some confusion.

I know all about it. Thats why I tell you, you need to be carefull of beliveing that coincidences automatically mean that God is talking to you or that He is confirming something.

The devil can also give lying signs. So you have to be careful.

It says in the scripture that we are to put our request to God, and if it be His will we will receive it. 1 John 5:14-15 And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us: And if we know that He hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of Him.

God has His time for doing things. So you need to continue to pray for your husband, and wait patiently on God. He will do things when He wants, according to His will.

Hi North Star,

I've been trying to follow along with this, as well as your other thread, and I am so sorry for all you're going through. I've been hesitant to say anything as I'm sure my story isn't going to sound very hopeful, but I can sympathize with so much of what you're saying and I felt moved to answer.

I went through a similar situation with my own husband as well. We went to counseling, and I studied the Bible, prayed, and fasted constantly on my own. When he left, I fasted even "harder", giving up sleeping for crying out to God during what felt like endless nights, and spending all my breaks at work constantly reading Scripture.

When my husband asked to come back a month later, I could not have been more elated!!! Prayer and fasting REALLY DID WORK!!! Or so I thought to myself at the time. It wasn't even two weeks later that my husband left yet again.

And so, I just studied, prayed, and fasted all the more. If I just did MORE... I was SURE I was going to see a breakthrough. After all, I had an entire church praying with me -- I begged anyone and everyone who would listen to pray for us -- and I was concentrating more on God's Word and my obedience more than ever before in my life (even though I'd been a lifelong Christian.) I was SURE something amazing was going to happen -- that my husband was going to give up that other girl, declare his eternal love for me, and we would be worshipping together regularly while giving a miraculous testimony that God had completely healed our marriage!

After all, everyone kept repeating to me that "God hates divorce" more times than I could count, so if it was God's will that we were to stay married, and I was doing everything I could to obey God's will, wouldn't God just make a mighty, miraculous move that would cause everything to just fall into place? Wouldn't God just change my husband's heart to love me and care about me and only me, as I was told God willed it to be?

But absolutely NONE of that happened, and like you, I was desperately clinging on to any little "sign" I chose to see that things were going to change for what I thought was the better.

However, nothing went the way I thought it would, and when my husband left that last time, it was permanently. The turning point for me came when one of my co-workers told me, "You are just going to have to accept that he is never coming back." It would have been a lot easier if she would have just physically skewered me through the heart -- a couple dozen times, and then a few times more.

My heart completely aches for you, North Star. I understand your anguish, and can feel the pain through your very words. I am so sorry, and praying as well that God will give you a breakthrough.

Much to our own personal dismay, God will not force a choice on anyone, or change their heart in a way that overrides their own will, and I am so sorry that it seems like your efforts are not making the progress in your husband's heart that you would like to see.

I do hope and pray that in the midst of this, God will give you the strength and motivation to keep yourself healthy and well. I was studying, praying, and fasting to the point that God eventually convicted me of letting fasting turn into self-starvation that was bordering on anorexia, and eventually, I had to stop. I sincerely hope that something like this won't happen to you, as I know all too well the feelings that can lead into it. You think that God is moving in your life, and you want more, more, more! of His power to manifest -- and so you come to believe that if you just do more, more, more, as well, the more tangible and powerful His presence, and changes you want to see, will become.

I pray that God will give you a breakthrough in your marriage and that you will see healing and hope. But even if things don't turn around in the way that you are hoping, I pray that your spiritual discipline and seeking will be used for the good of you and your husband.

I am afraid to even say this because I surely hope your story has a much happier ending than mine, but I know that for me, God used my own spiritual fight to prepare me for the difficult path that was ahead, even though it was very much contrary to what I had been asking for.

I pray things will be different for you.

Blessings to you, North Star, and please, keep us posted!

Wow!
Your pastor hasn't taught you a very important message. We trust God at his word. Feelings are fleeting at best but God has promised to always be with you. So we only have to remember the written promise of God. We don't have to rely on our unreliable emotions. If we rely on the promises of God we are always assured, if we rely on our feelings we can be in turmoil as you seem to be. Suffering as if God has walked away from you some how.
God never promised to radically change things in your life. He promised to be with you through them.
"It's likely he did change the subject." Probably about this chasing Jesus, first off Jesus isn't running from you. He is there loving you as you run yourself and are now on the ragged edge. Why don't you stop all this works righteousness, and trying to get closer to God, and trust him for what he has promised. You believe; he is with you always. Now rather than be busy about so many things like Martha so busy serving, and just rest at the feet of the Lord Jesus, like Mary who chose the better part. Be content as, Paul said in all things. Learn to rest in Jesus and trust him.
I'm assuming that you converted and your husband did not after you married, and Paul speaks to this situation, read what the word says about it. It don't say be frantic and fasting and praying and practicing acts of physical asceticism. Trust what is written in 1 Corinthians 7, and 1 Peter chapter 3.

These types of testimonies are a kin to mine, and demonstrate to me the reasons I left evangelicalism, and joined orthodoxy.

If I remember correctly your last post was about spiritual warfare

Just remember and trust that God's there and He'll probably eventually not be so silent and remind you not lose your faith and to keep on praying and reading your Bible like you are.

Remember, there are reasons for times like this and often it's to teach us valuable lessons.

Maybe you need to get away from the stressers just for a bit, 30 minutes, and find a nice quiet place, very quiet, no distractions, to just pray to God and ask Him to speak to you. Do you believe God talks to us? Well sure He does. Find a quiet place to go pray and see.

How does God talk to us?

God can speak to us any way He wants to.

Sometimes we're just too distracted to notice.

Why do I get the ominous feeling you're testing me?

Through His written word...
I once heard a preacher say " If you want to hear from God , read His word , and if you want to hear God speak audibly , then speak His word out loud "
...xox...

Curious...what denomination did you leave and what denomination do you belong to now?

I am with a very conservative Lutheran Church.
I used to be apart of several churches over time. I started out baptist as a child, then was with a charismatic non-denominational, then Calvary Chapel, then back to baptist. Then I started to study church history, as part of ordination process. What I learned about church history changed my whole outlook. Now I pretty much can not stand what revivalism has done to so many people who love God but struggle under stupid teaching. Like this lady who obviously loves the Lord Jesus but feels as if she much chase after Jesus, and go on a fast to save her husband, and having a pastor who says stuff like if you don't feel the presence of God you ain't working hard enough. He should be horse whipped for putting people who want to love Jesus and know he loves them, in such a bondage.

Well, the last time someone said God spoke to them was during the American election, and we know how that went.

To stay on the safe side, i think we should look for our answers in the scripture, and if we are uncertain about something, we can just trust God to work things out.

For example, im uncertain about taking covid vaccine, I wont find a specific scripture that will say take or do not take the vaccine. But there is this: Mark 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover

This lets me know God is able, if that be His will, to protect me from any adverse reaction to the vaccine.

And if i decide not to take the vaccine, psalms 91 tells me that God is able to protect me from something such as covid, according to His will.

But the scripture also warns me not to put God to the test Matthew 4:7.

So i can be guided by these words of God. If i heard a voice saying, go and take the vaccine or do not take the vaccine. I think I would be suspicious.

Its not that i absolutely disagree that God speaks to people, but what we must recognise is that satan transforms himself into an angel of light and speaks as well, and many have shipwrecked their faith by this deception.

So please tell me, how exactly does God speak to us vs when satan speak? Ive heard it said that when you have peace about something, then it means God is speaking to you. Would this mean that if i had a presentation to give infront of a large audience, if i get nervous and afraid after praying about it, can I take it as a sign that God is telling me not to do the presentation?

There are Biblical examples of going out to a quiet place, alone, and praying and it's a good example for us to use sometimes.

A fake angel of light and a real angel of light are only sufficiently similar at first before there's notable differences. A fake angel of light would use tactics that ultimately ship wreck someone's faith. I imagine there would eventually be red flags pop up that contradict the Bible and run contrary to God's character. It'll be obvious soon who we're dealing with.

We can know God's character and personality by studying Biblical examples and praying. Over time it starts becoming clearer, in my experience, what kind of prayers God is looking to answer.

I've prayed to feel better and haven't. I've prayed to feel better and have. God has a will and sometimes we don't really understand.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you still felt nervous after praying about it, it isn't that God is disinterested that you don't feel good, but maybe He want you to trust Him more? That's a tough question because I haven't really experienced what you are or know why.

Thanks somuch for all of the replied. I want to reply more thoughtfully to what everyone has said, but cant at present. But I really do want to say thank you to you all. Seoulsearch, your reply was so heartfelt, so many thanks for taking the time to share what sounds like a very difficult time.

So really, everyone, thank you. Some very sobering replies too, which I needed to hear.

Yes I came to faith after I got married and I probably need a lot more mentorship than what I am receiving, but I dont live in an English speaking country, and Protestantism isn't very popular in the native language, let alone in English. I realise I sound really naive. It's probably because I am ☺

I was a little vulnerable today but I will reply another time when I am feeling a bit more articulate.

Thanks again.

Totally agree.