I just thought I'd try talking about this here, because... I feel this might be one of the few places I can talk about it without people automatically assuming I'm crazy or that I'm making it up. (Seriously... there are some ways in which I'm actually astonished and disappointed that even some Christians in this day and age don't believe in the existence of demons, or even if they do, they're kinda sometimes like "I don't think demons do that much in our daily lives.")
So.. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I can safely say that, for almost as long as I can remember... something out there has always followed me around and had an interest in me, even when I was a kid. When I was 20, something happened one night while I was sleeping where it felt like something ominous finally decided to make its move, trying to come into me and take over. It was so hard and oppressive that I cried out to God and begged Him to keep it out and make it stop. And... it sorta did, at least it went no further, but... little did I realize that it wasn't fully gone.
Another really strange thing that happened was... a few nights after that incident, (particularly while I was still being wishy-washy in some ways about whether or not I wanted Jesus in my life or heart) is.... there was actually a moment where I felt a similar encounter with God Himself, or perhaps the Holy Spirit directly. It basically felt like, even though there was NOTHING tangible in the room, nothing physical actually touching me... there was a tremendous pressure on me. It was like God wanted me to tell Him there and then, if I really wanted Him in my life, or to tell Him no for good. I didn't want to tell Him no for good, so in some ways... I succumbed to whatever that was, and stopped resisting Him. (Maybe He was also trying to protect me from something... and/or just wanted a definite answer, I dunno.)
But anyway.... even after that, for a very long time... I still always felt like there was something on me. It ALWAYS felt like there was something just behind my right shoulder, always there. I would always feel it, and there were countless times when I would SWEAR I saw something there out of the corner of my eye, but whenever I turned to look there was nothing. But it was always the same spot.
I'm... I can't really say (especially since some of my memories are a bit fuzzy now) if I felt like the presence was making me do anything or influencing me in any way... I can't really say. Buuut...
Sometime when I was 28 or 29, I started talking to a Christian friend about this, and she told me that she'd had a similar experience where she'd had a demon in her, and with the help of a friend they got it to leave. And when it did, it felt like a heavy pessure in her chest lifted out of her. I told her that even if there was a demon in me, I thought I couldn't do anything about it because I thought God commanded you to do nothing with demons, not even talk to them, because it could lead to trouble. She said it was okay to speak to them with authority because it's your body, and you can speak in the name of Jesus.
My friend told me what to say, to tell it in the name of Jesus to get out and go wherever God told it to go. She sensed some hesitency in me, so she told me firmly to DO it, so I said the words. It did feel like something left me, and I haven't seen or felt that presence near my right shoulder ever since.
What was more interesting was that I DID feel lighter after it happened, and even my mom said that I seemed different after that, even if I never told her about the incident or why I was different.
But then... I dunno, it also seemed in some ways that... maybe the devil wasn't ready to give up the game even after that (is he ever?) because... that is also when I started fighting a lot more with some of my Christian friends and even becoming more and more disappointed with them. Maybe part of it was on me because I still wasn't strong in my faith, but... it was also during a time where THEY kept making mistakes and doing things that made me doubt my faith and anything that was going on, too.
One Christian friend made me feel a bit foolish when I tried to talk to her about what happened, asking me in an almost patronizing way "Why do you think you were demon-oppressed?" and didn't even believe anything I told her... even though, just a few years prior, she WOULD have believed it.
Another Christian friend just went completely ballistic in some ways (this was right around the time when gay marriage was first made legal) and basically started talking like he hoped God would make the rapture happen soon and burn this country to the ground. When I tried talking to him about the demon incident, he said that there were no demons in existence except for one person in particular who'd really hurt me.
Yet another Christian friend who I used to be kinda able to talk to ended up leaving the faith, once he began working with a bunch of loud-mouthed and obnoxious men... and started believing more in a form of universalism and picked up some questionable habits. He, too, drifted away.
And another Christian friend ended up making me angry because, even though we had originally established that I wasn't going to do certain things in my life and she had originally understood my reasons for not pursuing certain paths... she apparently forgot my reasons, or just didn't care anymore, because out of the blue she began to pressure me into going in a direction I thought she had once understood I couldn't go because it wasn't for me and it wasn't what God willed for me.
And... thus, after getting rid of a demonic oppression or influence... I ended up pretty much hating all of my Christian friends and thinking and feeling like anybody atheist/liberal was the way to go instead. Only... that ended up making things worse, I think, because I started to hate God more and more and resent the idea that Hell exists, and maybe even began to believe that... perhaps, just perhaps, Hell didn't actually exist at all.
I dunno. Maybe the devil planned all this, because he wasn't happy that I gotten rid of the demon so he upped the ante. And... it worked, at least for a while.
I guess... I was wondering what you guys think of all this, and... if you have anything you'd like to share on the topic. ^^;
So.. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I can safely say that, for almost as long as I can remember... something out there has always followed me around and had an interest in me, even when I was a kid. When I was 20, something happened one night while I was sleeping where it felt like something ominous finally decided to make its move, trying to come into me and take over. It was so hard and oppressive that I cried out to God and begged Him to keep it out and make it stop. And... it sorta did, at least it went no further, but... little did I realize that it wasn't fully gone.
Another really strange thing that happened was... a few nights after that incident, (particularly while I was still being wishy-washy in some ways about whether or not I wanted Jesus in my life or heart) is.... there was actually a moment where I felt a similar encounter with God Himself, or perhaps the Holy Spirit directly. It basically felt like, even though there was NOTHING tangible in the room, nothing physical actually touching me... there was a tremendous pressure on me. It was like God wanted me to tell Him there and then, if I really wanted Him in my life, or to tell Him no for good. I didn't want to tell Him no for good, so in some ways... I succumbed to whatever that was, and stopped resisting Him. (Maybe He was also trying to protect me from something... and/or just wanted a definite answer, I dunno.)
But anyway.... even after that, for a very long time... I still always felt like there was something on me. It ALWAYS felt like there was something just behind my right shoulder, always there. I would always feel it, and there were countless times when I would SWEAR I saw something there out of the corner of my eye, but whenever I turned to look there was nothing. But it was always the same spot.
I'm... I can't really say (especially since some of my memories are a bit fuzzy now) if I felt like the presence was making me do anything or influencing me in any way... I can't really say. Buuut...
Sometime when I was 28 or 29, I started talking to a Christian friend about this, and she told me that she'd had a similar experience where she'd had a demon in her, and with the help of a friend they got it to leave. And when it did, it felt like a heavy pessure in her chest lifted out of her. I told her that even if there was a demon in me, I thought I couldn't do anything about it because I thought God commanded you to do nothing with demons, not even talk to them, because it could lead to trouble. She said it was okay to speak to them with authority because it's your body, and you can speak in the name of Jesus.
My friend told me what to say, to tell it in the name of Jesus to get out and go wherever God told it to go. She sensed some hesitency in me, so she told me firmly to DO it, so I said the words. It did feel like something left me, and I haven't seen or felt that presence near my right shoulder ever since.
What was more interesting was that I DID feel lighter after it happened, and even my mom said that I seemed different after that, even if I never told her about the incident or why I was different.
But then... I dunno, it also seemed in some ways that... maybe the devil wasn't ready to give up the game even after that (is he ever?) because... that is also when I started fighting a lot more with some of my Christian friends and even becoming more and more disappointed with them. Maybe part of it was on me because I still wasn't strong in my faith, but... it was also during a time where THEY kept making mistakes and doing things that made me doubt my faith and anything that was going on, too.
One Christian friend made me feel a bit foolish when I tried to talk to her about what happened, asking me in an almost patronizing way "Why do you think you were demon-oppressed?" and didn't even believe anything I told her... even though, just a few years prior, she WOULD have believed it.
Another Christian friend just went completely ballistic in some ways (this was right around the time when gay marriage was first made legal) and basically started talking like he hoped God would make the rapture happen soon and burn this country to the ground. When I tried talking to him about the demon incident, he said that there were no demons in existence except for one person in particular who'd really hurt me.
Yet another Christian friend who I used to be kinda able to talk to ended up leaving the faith, once he began working with a bunch of loud-mouthed and obnoxious men... and started believing more in a form of universalism and picked up some questionable habits. He, too, drifted away.
And another Christian friend ended up making me angry because, even though we had originally established that I wasn't going to do certain things in my life and she had originally understood my reasons for not pursuing certain paths... she apparently forgot my reasons, or just didn't care anymore, because out of the blue she began to pressure me into going in a direction I thought she had once understood I couldn't go because it wasn't for me and it wasn't what God willed for me.
And... thus, after getting rid of a demonic oppression or influence... I ended up pretty much hating all of my Christian friends and thinking and feeling like anybody atheist/liberal was the way to go instead. Only... that ended up making things worse, I think, because I started to hate God more and more and resent the idea that Hell exists, and maybe even began to believe that... perhaps, just perhaps, Hell didn't actually exist at all.
I dunno. Maybe the devil planned all this, because he wasn't happy that I gotten rid of the demon so he upped the ante. And... it worked, at least for a while.
I guess... I was wondering what you guys think of all this, and... if you have anything you'd like to share on the topic. ^^;