Friendships with People with Opposite Political Views

How do you have meaningful conversations and bond with people with opposite political views? Do you try to avoid people altogether with opposite political views? Sometimes, we do not have a choice with whom we interact (such as boss, pastor, neighbor, in-laws, etc.). I do not avoid people with different views, but now I am wondering if it is even worth the hassle to bond with such people (since they probably disagree with your views and so do not like you anyway)? The best solution is probably avoid some topics, but you really cannot bond with people if you cannot talk openly. I am facing some challenges with communicating with my pastor. We have communicated by email but I have avoided talking on the phone (which I believe is obvious to her now). We got along really well but then she became a bit political. It would be impossible to have a phone call and completely avoid political issues. What am I supposed to say, if she says that there is so much systemic racial injustice in our country. Personally, I believe there is some racism in our country but not so much so where it stops someone from accomplishing his/her goals? However, my pastor may take my views personally (she is African American).

I would like input from both sides. Please, no comments about female pastors.

There was a time when we could discuss our different political views in a friendly and cordial way.
There has been so much name calling, fake news, and blaming others, ( its not my fault) that it has become impossible.
I believe it is only going to get worse.

mostly just avoid the topic.
If they bring it up, just say you dont share their view and leave it at that.

I recall one friend tried to get me talking about politics, who I was voting etc and then started going on about politics in OTHER countries. she doesnt live in the same electorate I do, so why she would care about who I vote for when its not going to impact on her I have no idea.

as for parties, I dont really go in for them either. I dont like the name calling. They are just people.

just tell them you don't like talking about politics and try to steer the conversation to something nonpolitical whenever possible

if they simply wont give up talking politics and it really bothers you, try find someone else to talk with

not everyone is obsessed with politics and it can't be that difficult to find someone who isn't overtly political

hope that helps

I am friends with people with political views ranging across the spectrum. Doesn't really make a difference to me as long as they are mature and civil.

The media puts a lot of emphasis on shouting down your opponents and debating them ad nauseum, but not everyone has drank that kool-aid.

That being said, it can be difficult to discern what anything even means to anyone anymore unless you talk to them. For example, there is systematic racism and it exists in the form of diversity quotas and affirmative action. Any sort of racial discrimination by the state, even if it is helpful, is racism. I doubt that is what your female pastor is taking about though.

Therein lies the catch 22, you must be open to other people to get to know them and in doing so you expose yourself to potentially uncomfortable, volatile, and divisive political rhetoric.

Definitely pray about it and learn to pick your battles. Maybe you don't need to talk to her specifically. Hope this helps.

I'm done trying to convince others that I'm not a bad person...that's essentially what political arguments come down to nowadays instead of merely having a discussion on politics. This is quite exhausting and futile. So if someone else thinks you are a bad person (or too dumb to understand things), there is no relationship. To be fair, I believe both sides experience this with various topics, on the left (socialism, abortion, etc.) and on the right (against helping poor immigrants, against social programs, etc.). It depends how far on one wants to go to consider that person evil.

This is not really possible in church as politics and religion are intertwined. Christians needs to think and vote a certain way, both sides have ideas on how/what a Christian should believe politically.

Sister,

Christ said, if the world hates you be of good cheer, because it hated me first. If you were part of the world they would love you.

Look, Racism will never be stomped out completely until people change their hearts from self centered egotistical, to selfless humility. That is for any hateful stance from anyone. Tgis won’t happen till Christ comes back because people love the darkness over light.

Just like the war on terrorism will never be won because of the radicalization of some people. This is nothing new and has existed in religion.

For the most part I agree, most people are not racist. Nor is it systemic. That is rhetoric used to cut and divide people and drive them to a certain political end goal. If it were true how is there so many different races and religions represented in the leadership of the US? There is not one job that I know of that a people of variations of skin pigmentation or regions have been stopped from working or not held at this time. Has there not been a darker pigment man as President? Now a Vice President as they like to call black/or African American and female?

It is ok to stand for the truth. There is nothing wrong with that. Just do it in love and humility. Not from a stance of you are so wrong and I am so right. Remember how Christ accepted and ate with sinners? While those religious leaders of the day judged him for it?

Do it from the stance of open ended conversations of points and counter points. It can be exhausting but, they have a platform. Which means they probably impact what some people think and believe.

Maybe you might have to put up with some pain but, end up changing her mind. Who in turn changes her stance and tells the people to ch age their mind if it be the will of God. Either way, you will have stood for truth, and one day you might have to all the way to death.

Maybe you can ask her to define and show you the proof of the systemic racism? Given our current multi colored and cultural status in all jobs and aspects of life even now completing it with a female that they state is “black”. There are just bad people in all aspects of society from the top to the bottom in kinds all kind sod jobs. They do bad things, so times to people of opposite pigmentation. Where they truly racist?

Not that there aren’t those who are still raised to hate out there based on skin color but, you cannot ignore the fact that culture of hate and distrust not matter how big or small Is not associated to any single race/group but, does occurs in all colors and cultures of society. Just Like there is “good” and “bad” people in all races and cultures.

That is why I say if our government truly cares. Then they need to start the change. First by stop using the racial designations created by racists to identify and group people into black and white. That we the people need to stop identifying with one or the other of those groups associated with stereotypes. To stop treating the two groups differently. There are both poor “what’s/black” people. There are crappy places and schools they both live and attend. They’ both have drug dealers/users, they both have thieves. It is simply the way the government can try and sell control to keep people managed and fighting each other. Notice this is only a two party barritive what about “brown” people and others. Are they not destitute/poor too and successful/rich just like “black and white”?

If so, then what is the purpose of this black and white rhetoric?
there is truly only separation of classes, rich and poor, getting poorer....

Having them believing the narrative in order to separate and segregate the population from realizing they are trying to take your rights away

if you get the chance, ask her In private or a small group, have her define what is black and white? Who is what? Why? Is it an experience that makes them black? Which one? One that other people of different skin pigmentation/“black/brown/white” do not experience? Where is the cut off for skin pigmentation for black and white to establish one from the other? There are light skinned aka white African Americans so it isn’t just Africa?

I recently did a DNA test and found I am a Mutt with DNA from almost every nation. I am made up of all kinds of cultures and places. I am not “white”. I am everything. Yet physically most people would assume due to certain features I am white. Actually my celebrated curlier is mostly Hispanic. Yet I am also African, Arabian, Jewish, and Egyptian so how do I define me? Multi cultural. No specific race or nation. I am an American but before that I am of “The Way”, which is the original followers of the Christ.

So I am saying do not avoid, or be afraid of those people. Because they, or those like them, may be the ones who cause the changing of laws and persecution of the true believers to happen. Will you back down when that happens?

Love, A brother in Christ.

So what do you do? Show them the better way, show them live and mercy. Pray for those who persecute you. K ow God is in control. Show them “The Way”.

A few ways.

1. Agree to disagree on politics AND have politics be of such unimportance to one or both that it almost never comes up.

2. Both need to be the sort that can entertain an idea without accepting an idea.

3. I think a lot of the baggage is owed to the fact that we share a language, but not a culture. Vocal reds typically live differently from the vocal blues. Understanding this from the outset and making room for it as you would a difference with a foreign culture will take some of the heat off.

I could think of more, but that's it for now.

You don't. You simply agree to avoid politics altogether. And there will really be no bonding.

My wife is a Democrat and I am a Republican and I fully concur with your counsel about avoiding political discourse.

I took the vocal red pill.

For whom I vote is my business and no one else's. Don't discuss it.

GardenofWeeden! Nice to see you over this side of the fence.

The Forums, that is, not the political fence.

One good thing about having friends with other political views: you can get a different perspective. You can ask them, "Why do you think as you do?" (or some less pointed variant), without getting your head bitten off.

Hopefully.

Thanks Dino. I usually hang out in the chatrooms, but I browse the forums a few times a month at least. I"m fairly opinionated, so I think that makes me a good fit for this site.

Opinionated? But you're so quiet in Chat! Anyway, nice to see you.

By the way, I like your tag line.

the rich and poor divide is what stops people from achieving goals more so than any racism.
But there is a hangover from the times when people never mixed with others that were different from them and were stopped from voting, barred from housing, owning land etc.

In places like South Africa, they had apartheid and that was really bad, and in Southern states of the US when it was confederates, there was segregation.

For anyone born today of course they dont really know what it was like in the past. But it still affects people.

I have to say. That, you want to acknowledge that people HAVE been hurt and excluded in the past and there has been discrimination. But TODAY we know better.

Im friends with this lady who has a black dad and a white mum, actually those from mixed parentage are common in my circle of friends. we are all from somewhere and we dont get to choose what colour or where we are born, right? When she talks about peoples attitudes that affect her, I dont see her as being politcal at all. Shes being personal, because it affects her personally.

with politics, we have a vote, we get to choose. Imagine if you were not allowed to vote, like women were back in the day we werent even allowed! Of course you are going to be frustrated about it if politicians start making decisions that affect you and your family for the worse and you never even got to say anything about it.