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shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#1
May 25, 2015
6,149
851
113
#1
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


134781803_10157296339281887_1783302424884282685_n.jpg You will get out.
 
UCA4J

UCA4J

Banned
#2
Nov 15, 2020
1,897
362
83
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
#2
shineyourlight said:
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


View attachment 224078 You will get out.
Click to expand...
you win 🏆
 
up

up

Banned
#3
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,469
113
#3
that's awesome, very happy and proud of you!!
BTW, you can text me with book length texting😁
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#4
May 25, 2015
6,149
851
113
#4
up said:
that's awesome, very happy and proud of you!!
BTW, you can text me with book length texting😁
Click to expand...
Haha, well, aren't you just the sweetest ;)

After all the healing I've experienced, though, I text the way I want to regardless :p
 
up

up

Banned
#5
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,469
113
#5
shineyourlight said:
Haha, well, aren't you just the sweetest ;)

After all the healing I've experienced, though, I text the way I want to regardless :p
Click to expand...
oh snagppage!
thank you kindly and aren't we all sweet lol...
like the way you conveyed that - also, just give me a pinch on my cheek with a smile, I don't mind 😊😉
aaans, do you re-read your texts after you sent them to see if they make sense, sometimes my texting cracks myself up!
😀
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#6
May 25, 2015
6,149
851
113
#6
up said:
oh snagppage!
thank you kindly and aren't we all sweet lol...
like the way you conveyed that - also, just give me a pinch on my cheek with a smile, I don't mind 😊😉
aaans, do you re-read your texts after you sent them to see if they make sense, sometimes my texting cracks myself up!
😀
Click to expand...
Not really - it really depends on the person. I think if I'm texting someone I care for, I over-analyze my texts. I think that's the woman in me. We tend to be overthinkers sometimes. ;) :p
 
up

up

Banned
#7
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,469
113
#7
shineyourlight said:
Not really - it really depends on the person. I think if I'm texting someone I care for, I over-analyze my texts. I think that's the woman in me. We tend to be overthinkers sometimes. ;):p
Click to expand...
great answer, I getcha...
as a man i overthink too when talking/texing/replying and I do get shy sometimes too and yet somedays, ahhh, not so much lol...
if that makes sense... when I care for someone
😉😊😇
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#8
May 25, 2015
6,149
851
113
#8
up said:
great answer, I getcha...
as a man i overthink too when talking/texing/replying and I do get shy sometimes too and yet days ahhh, not so much lol...
if that makes sense... when I care for someone
😉😊😇
Click to expand...
Yeah, I don't think I get shy - but sometimes, I rethink about the text and think that I shouldn't have sent it. Haha.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#9
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#9
Good for you in having the confidence to get out of a situation you didn’t want to be in. Two years ago Dec 2018 I did the same. I got out of a toxic situation that I knew I didn’t want to ever be in. Manipulation, deceit, extreme laziness, co-dependent of her mom and would tell her lies to have her say things to me that was not true, whenever I did something good she would belittle it, she really only wanted me for my help and the help I gave was not enough she wanted more so she could just relax and text her mom all day. I had enough and I walked out. I learned some valuable lessons and I will never ignore red flags again. The meme is so true, we have the power to make choices to make sure we are not mistreated and treated with kindness and respect. We don’t have to put up with abuse. Thank you for sharing your story and I pray it gives those who are reading this going through abuse to get help and if need be get out.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#10
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#10
shineyourlight said:
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


View attachment 224078 You will get out.
Click to expand...
You have given wise counsel based on your own experience.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#12
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#12
GandalfTheWhite said:
Yeah @shineyourlight is super duper cool...
Click to expand...
I certainly agree with you my friend. There is always the risk of heartbreak when entering a relationship. She does seem to be well on the road to recovery from this most abusive relationship. In the end it may turn into a positive as she is learning more about herself and what are important things to look for when considering entering into a loving and enduring relationship. It took me years to recover from my divorce in 1984 after 6 1/2 years of physical and verbal abuse.
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#13
May 25, 2015
6,149
851
113
#13
GandalfTheWhite said:
Yeah @shineyourlight is super duper cool...
Click to expand...
Aw, shucks. You'll make me blush.

tourist said:
I certainly agree with you my friend. There is always the risk of heartbreak when entering a relationship. She does seem to be well on the road to recovery from this most abusive relationship. In the end it may turn into a positive as she is learning more about herself and what are important things to look for when considering entering into a loving and enduring relationship. It took me years to recover from my divorce in 1984 after 6 1/2 years of physical and verbal abuse.
Click to expand...
Aw, thank you! Those are sweet words :)

It actually opened up my eyes to my Dad's narcissism. As an adult, I've had healthy relationships, but I was in a dark season of my life: My aunt just committed suicide, and I ended my relationship with my parents temporarily. I was in a season where I felt alone and scared, and I was vulnerable. I started dating a guy too quickly (which is unlike me), and I regretted it within a month but I stayed for a year.

After the breakup, I was a mess. Not that I wasn't glad the relationship was over, but something in me was bonding with someone who was toxic (It's called trauma bonding and it's when ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change.) I knew I needed to work on that and to end the trauma bonding and work on myself.

Lots of healing, lots of self-care and self-affirmations, and lots and lots of Jesus. And I'm standing whole and strong and I will never go back to that place ever again.
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#14
#14
shineyourlight said:
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


View attachment 224078 You will get out.
Click to expand...
You go girl! I went through a very similar situation! It feels so good to be free. Extremely happy for you
 
L

Loyalth888

New member
#15
Feb 12, 2021
17
8
3
#15
shineyourlight said:
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


View attachment 224078 You will get out.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing a little bit of your testimony, I understand that you went through emotional abuse, you should have not been treated like you did, I mean he just left you hurting.... I don't even know you... But just hearing that 😔 but The wonderful silverlining I in this is GOD's strength and love gave you the power to stand up and fight, and you did.... Now two years later🙂 your winning with victory.... I'm happy for you And may GOD Bless You And Your Whole Entire Family... In JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN HALLELUJAH🙂
 
L

Luvey

New member
#16
Apr 8, 2021
8
6
3
#16
Such a heroic testimony. I never get tired of hearing how God moves people from here to there. Their there becomes here and people dont know how much blood, sweat and tears it took to deliver them. You stand in victory because you took the strength to accept the healing that God prepared for you. I don’t look at you as a victim but you sound confident and secure. Great job and glory to God.
 
A

Alyd20

Guest
#17
#17
Carly Pearce was in the same position as you she was married to her now divorced husband Michael ray a country singer as Carly but after Covid hit by mid summer she realized that she make a mistake marring him after 6 mouths of marriage.
 
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