Fully singleness
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There is nothing wrong in saying that being single is a time of preparation because that is true for some but not all.
So it all just depends on where you are in life.
And there is a time and a season for everything under the sun.
For example. A man who is unemployed and depending on his parents or whoever. He sleeps all day and plays video games when he isn't. Is it a time for him to get married or a time to get a job and get his act together?
Lets say there is a woman who is heavily in debt, yet she cant stop spending and getting into more debt. Is it a time to be worried about marriage or a time to learn self control?
So there are those who need to prepare or sort out their issues, while there are thoes who are very much eligible for marriage. So its all about where you are at in life.
But we all i guess need to make peace with the possibility that our single status may never change.
And its not necessarily a bad thing. Look at all the marriages that ended in divorce, look at all those unhappily married. So perhaps thats just not the will of God for your life.
So many different angles to look at it from.
So it all just depends on where you are in life.
And there is a time and a season for everything under the sun.
For example. A man who is unemployed and depending on his parents or whoever. He sleeps all day and plays video games when he isn't. Is it a time for him to get married or a time to get a job and get his act together?
Lets say there is a woman who is heavily in debt, yet she cant stop spending and getting into more debt. Is it a time to be worried about marriage or a time to learn self control?
So there are those who need to prepare or sort out their issues, while there are thoes who are very much eligible for marriage. So its all about where you are at in life.
But we all i guess need to make peace with the possibility that our single status may never change.
And its not necessarily a bad thing. Look at all the marriages that ended in divorce, look at all those unhappily married. So perhaps thats just not the will of God for your life.
So many different angles to look at it from.
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I'm in agreement with you there - talk about jumping on the newbie! (Sorry @Ranny, I hope we have not scared you off!)
But then, observation and reason says you'll respond to the OP according to how many years you've had to walk this road of singleness for. Some are still very young and perhaps hopeful. Others are not so young and are perhaps disillusioned. Especially when you have been single for a long time, you do grow tired of hearing cliche opinions of how and why you may still be... And I can understand that completely.
To be honest, I never in a million years thought I would be posting in a "singles forum." Not because I didn't think I would still be single, but because I don't want to feel like bait if you know what I mean!!
But I've been watching this thread with a little interest, and then felt convicted that I need to speak up for the sake of the one or two people that may be ministered to by what I have to say.
Going back to the OP, that our time of singleness is a time of preparation. Yes, absolutely, but my revelation is that the preparation is much bigger than for marriage down here. I'd like to say that this life is a time of preparation for a much more significant Marriage.
Many of the responses have been to the effect of, "if singleness is a time of preparation, then I'm overqualified!!" I can totally relate. Honestly, I thought I would have been married 10 years ago, but it hasn't happened. Am I ready for marriage? I can confidently say yes. But for whatever rhyme or reason, the Lord has not ordained for it.
The other day I was observing a few married couples -- marvelling, actually. That day I came to the conclusion that to meet up with your spouse is an absolute miracle of God. Okay, you can force it and makes things happen and land up stuffing your whole life up (am I allowed using that word? Sorry, it's a very Zimbabwean phrase!) -- granted -- but I'm talking about those couples which you can see are a perfect fit. If it's up to "chance" then clearly I've missed the boat! And if it's up to me, it'll probably never happen because yes, I am too picky, but more than that, I'm not the type to "put myself out there", so 'not jumping in the pool' would by definition disqualify me
...But when I know that it is 100% in God's hands whether or not I marry, I come to peace.
And this is really what I wanted to share with you guys who are reading this. My Pastor once gave us singles a really godly perspective which has been my anchor for many years. From 1 Corinthians 7, he spoke about how many people get married because they fall in love. As a result, many people also get divorced because they 'fall out of love.' But the question should not be whether you "love each other" or not that you should get married. The question you need to ask yourself is "Am I called to marriage?"
The fact that I am still single at this point in my life is because the Lord has not called me to marriage yet. Maybe one day He will call me to it, and maybe he won't. But when I stop looking at marriage as something I need or want, but as a calling, I can be at peace and surrender it.
Right now, the Lord has called me to be single. It has nothing to do with whether I am prepared or unprepared for marriage -- you bet I'll use this time wisely though! I want to learn from the examples set out for us in the Word. Like Rebekkah, let me learn to keep watering my camels - that thankless, tedious, day-in-and-day-out task that never seems to end and takes up all my time (trust me, I have a few of those!). Let me be faithful in whatever I am called to do right now, and maybe one day I will be pleasantly surprised that the next camel I water will be a significant one. My responsibility is not to worry about who is or who is not out there for me, but to trust that My Father has the SAME heart for ME as Abraham did for Isaac; and when He knows the time is right, He will make it happen. And maybe it won't be in this lifespan, but one thing I know; one day I will be faced with the One that I have been waiting for and PREPARING for my whole life; I want to be diligent to be found by HIM in peace, without spot and blameless (2 Peter 3:14)
Some of you may read this and tear it to pieces - and that is fine. But when I take my mind off the desire for marriage and put my mind on what I have been called to; I am at peace and even content. But if I feed that flame called desire with thoughts, that's what causes me to become discontent and steals my peace.
One more comment and something I gleaned from a wise man who taught me everything I know: many of us desire to be married because we believe the lie that "salvation" is found in marriage: ie. I will be complete when I find a spouse. Sometimes God disillusions us through marriage, and other times, He deprives us of it in the hope that we would discover the truth: that salvation (wholeness, completeness, contentment, JOY) is found in HIM and only Him. When I discover that, like the Samaritan woman by the well, who had FIVE husbands, but still didn't find what she was longing for, I discover that this Man, Jesus, is that One that fills me with rivers of living water so that I never thirst again...
I'm not saying I have it altogether; trust me, there are some days that I really struggle with being single. But then I remind myself of these truths and my mind is clear again. Let me be faithful in the season I have been called to today, and that will lead me into the next, whatever that may be...
But then, observation and reason says you'll respond to the OP according to how many years you've had to walk this road of singleness for. Some are still very young and perhaps hopeful. Others are not so young and are perhaps disillusioned. Especially when you have been single for a long time, you do grow tired of hearing cliche opinions of how and why you may still be... And I can understand that completely.
To be honest, I never in a million years thought I would be posting in a "singles forum." Not because I didn't think I would still be single, but because I don't want to feel like bait if you know what I mean!!
But I've been watching this thread with a little interest, and then felt convicted that I need to speak up for the sake of the one or two people that may be ministered to by what I have to say.
Going back to the OP, that our time of singleness is a time of preparation. Yes, absolutely, but my revelation is that the preparation is much bigger than for marriage down here. I'd like to say that this life is a time of preparation for a much more significant Marriage.
Many of the responses have been to the effect of, "if singleness is a time of preparation, then I'm overqualified!!" I can totally relate. Honestly, I thought I would have been married 10 years ago, but it hasn't happened. Am I ready for marriage? I can confidently say yes. But for whatever rhyme or reason, the Lord has not ordained for it.
The other day I was observing a few married couples -- marvelling, actually. That day I came to the conclusion that to meet up with your spouse is an absolute miracle of God. Okay, you can force it and makes things happen and land up stuffing your whole life up (am I allowed using that word? Sorry, it's a very Zimbabwean phrase!
) -- granted -- but I'm talking about those couples which you can see are a perfect fit. If it's up to "chance" then clearly I've missed the boat! And if it's up to me, it'll probably never happen because yes, I am too picky, but more than that, I'm not the type to "put myself out there", so 'not jumping in the pool' would by definition disqualify me ...But when I know that it is 100% in God's hands whether or not I marry, I come to peace.
And this is really what I wanted to share with you guys who are reading this. My Pastor once gave us singles a really godly perspective which has been my anchor for many years. From 1 Corinthians 7, he spoke about how many people get married because they fall in love. As a result, many people also get divorced because they 'fall out of love.' But the question should not be whether you "love each other" or not that you should get married. The question you need to ask yourself is "Am I called to marriage?"
The fact that I am still single at this point in my life is because the Lord has not called me to marriage yet. Maybe one day He will call me to it, and maybe he won't. But when I stop looking at marriage as something I need or want, but as a calling, I can be at peace and surrender it.
Right now, the Lord has called me to be single. It has nothing to do with whether I am prepared or unprepared for marriage -- you bet I'll use this time wisely though! I want to learn from the examples set out for us in the Word. Like Rebekkah, let me learn to keep watering my camels - that thankless, tedious, day-in-and-day-out task that never seems to end and takes up all my time (trust me, I have a few of those!). Let me be faithful in whatever I am called to do right now, and maybe one day I will be pleasantly surprised that the next camel I water will be a significant one. My responsibility is not to worry about who is or who is not out there for me, but to trust that My Father has the SAME heart for ME as Abraham did for Isaac; and when He knows the time is right, He will make it happen. And maybe it won't be in this lifespan, but one thing I know; one day I will be faced with the One that I have been waiting for and PREPARING for my whole life; I want to be diligent to be found by HIM in peace, without spot and blameless (2 Peter 3:14)
Some of you may read this and tear it to pieces - and that is fine. But when I take my mind off the desire for marriage and put my mind on what I have been called to; I am at peace and even content. But if I feed that flame called desire with thoughts, that's what causes me to become discontent and steals my peace.
One more comment and something I gleaned from a wise man who taught me everything I know: many of us desire to be married because we believe the lie that "salvation" is found in marriage: ie. I will be complete when I find a spouse. Sometimes God disillusions us through marriage, and other times, He deprives us of it in the hope that we would discover the truth: that salvation (wholeness, completeness, contentment, JOY) is found in HIM and only Him. When I discover that, like the Samaritan woman by the well, who had FIVE husbands, but still didn't find what she was longing for, I discover that this Man, Jesus, is that One that fills me with rivers of living water so that I never thirst again...
I'm not saying I have it altogether; trust me, there are some days that I really struggle with being single. But then I remind myself of these truths and my mind is clear again. Let me be faithful in the season I have been called to today, and that will lead me into the next, whatever that may be...
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