I should have grown up. Now I am 30 years old with no direction in life and no clear decisions.

Every time my nephews would visit they would come with video games. And after playing a while they would get amped up and start fighting. So I mentioned it to my sister and she said "that's what they do at home and at their other grandparents." I said " well they aren't going it here". Hubby and I have taken them so many places. Forts, parks, gardens, anything historic, a boat ride, car shows, fairs, a Christian golfing place etc. We have a place here called the Gorge. I found out how old I really am when I climbed up the side of that. We cooked outside on a grill there and my oldest nephew piped up and said "this is a thousand times better than any restaurant". The only problem is every time they come now they want to know what we are going to do next. lol But we've gotten to know them so if they have any issues in life, I hope they will come to us. And they have gained a lot of knowledge and memories. I hope one day when they grow up they will look back on this time fondly.

The following has nothing to do with this thread...

Interesting signature line kaylagrl. I am going to promptly steal it.

Speaking of which the first thing that I earned to cook indoors when I got away from my folks was pasta, then oatmeal. I've known people in their 40's who could only do ramen and canned foods. I like to eat to much than to try and survive on that garbage. I've got 4 kids and 10 grandchildren that I know of, so far. Only 1 can beat me in the kitchen. (My youngest daughter) Cooking is like being a musician. The more you practice, the better and easier it gets.

PS; My 30 something son cooks Filipino food and he won an army post chili cookoff too. Just keep practicing @Venn, It gets fun after a while.

You have got me beat in the children department - 1 daughter 40 years old, 1 son-in-law 41 years old, 5 grand-kids.

When I was single I rarely cooked, just stuck my hand in the freezer without looking and the first thing I grabbed I stuck in the microwave. I am fairly handy in the kitchen though and have mastered several dishes.

You are right about the practice too and that applies to most things in life. I know many people in their late 30's and early 40's that, due to being enabled, have arrested development and can barely function, being dependent on the adults in their life to provide all things for them. In my opinion, the best thing that a young person is to leave their parents nest ASAP out of high school, get a job, develop a good work ethic, and start making it on their own.

its not too late to learn how to cook, its pretty much cutting up food, adding seasoning if needed, heating it, and not burning it!


maybe its a cautionary tale, but if I see any child in school (im the librarian) that seems obssessed with video games I get concerned. Firstly, that their parents are spoiling them and secondly they will become addicted. like the obnoxious mike teavee.

So thanks for sharing your story, because I would like these children to grow up. One of the staff told me her ex gave her son expensive tv and video games and a phone, well she got so mad as he spent all his time gaming that he never had any time to learn anything, she smashed his phone and ran over the tv with the car. Then he had to tell his dad, dad, dont give me anything expensive cos mum will just smash it up.

btw the other day I was walking to school, I take the alleyway when walking, and someone had thrown a big screen tv into the alleyway and it was smashed to pieces and just lying there.

Possibly an angry mum lol.

oh Kireina
that is heartbreaking to read...YOU DID your siblings assignments for them?!

why? if they dont at least try to do it themselves they wont learn.

You cant do that, I saw one older girl at school beg to read seven books for her younger sibling so they could have pizza and while that is kind thats not doing the younger sibling any favours!

I was a bit of a softy and said, well ok, just once but stopped allowing that after the teacher found out. Id get her to read with him while in the library because how would I know hes really even looked at the books while I was not there. But it turned out alright in the end as the other kids saw this one boy having pizza and then they all wanted to read seven books. So their teacher started monitoring them.

This poor girl was going through a family breakup and is going to a different school next year. so she will be separated from her brother. She started having anger issues and taking it out on younger kids because they wouldnt be as grown up as she was.

My thing with younger kids is to let them do stuff on their own without babying them too much, They want to scan their own books and try out things, and choose their own books, and explore. I cant read their books FOR them, and will do this only if they ask. I have a height vhart that measure their growth, they love this. They all want to be grown up but still be allowed to play and be silly at times. thats the fine balance you need with them. Otherwise Id be exhausted all the time dealing with 30 kids every hour.

btw the other day I was walking to school, I take the alleyway when walking, and someone had thrown a big screen tv into the alleyway and it was smashed to pieces and just lying there.

Possibly an angry mum lol.

This poor girl was going through a family breakup and is going to a different school next year. so she will be separated from her brother. She started having anger issues and taking it out on younger kids because they wouldnt be as grown up as she was.

You have got me beat in the children department - 1 daughter 40 years old, 1 son-in-law 41 years old, 5 grand-kids.

When I was single I rarely cooked, just stuck my hand in the freezer without looking and the first thing I grabbed I stuck in the microwave. I am fairly handy in the kitchen though and have mastered several dishes.

You are right about the practice too and that applies to most things in life. I know many people in their late 30's and early 40's that, due to being enabled, have arrested development and can barely function, being dependent on the adults in their life to provide all things for them. In my opinion, the best thing that a young person is to leave their parents nest ASAP out of high school, get a job, develop a good work ethic, and start making it on their own.

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.

All my life I was pampered by my mom and because of that, I have not a care in the world with problems. Basically from what I was when I was a teenager, this is the same mindset I have.
Since I was a kid and up until now, My mom does all the work at home. She does all the laundry, she's the one who cooks food, basically she does everything and it makes me feel guilty and useless. Up until now this is the case and I haven’t improved.
By this time I should have been helping with the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, cleaning the house and everything else housekeeping related. I should have learned how to do “manly” stuff like fixing the sink, changing a car tire, going on adventures, learned to overcome my fear of heights, etc. Instead, I stay at home all day doing nothing but playing games, not talking with people, or hiding when people come to our house.
I am a picky eater and eat mostly unhealthy food. I only eat soft or comfort food which in turn didn’t make me any leaner and more muscular. I have a body of that of a frail little boy. I don’t have strong hands, arms or legs, I can’t run that fast and sweat easily. This is because I don’t exercise and don’t have a healthy lifestyle.
I spent my whole life just playing video games, watching too much anime, movies, Netflix, I had no goals in life, no direction, not thinking about the future. Because of that, It took me very long to finish a single course which took me 8 years. Gaming, Anime and Movies became my life instead.
I am not a people person at all. I hide when visitors come to our house. And because I have made this a habit, I am awkward when trying to approach a person and ask questions. I always get bullied and can become the laughing stock of the group.
I was lucky enough to land a job related to my career which was an electrician and but it involved heights and my fear of heights wasn’t helping, it also required some muscle like carrying big things and doing troubleshooting things and like I said, I have a frail body so basically I was useless.
Since I suck at being an electrician, they placed me over to do admin stuff related paperworks at the same company. Again, I had difficulty because all of there are so many variables to work with and I kept doing wrong things. The manager got so mad at me and I had to get tutored so many times by the staff and they started to hate me.
They put up with me until the end of my contract and were relieved that I was finally gone and replaced with someone with actual skill and someone who had the muscle and the brain.
Then I went freelance. I was able to manage it because they are mostly small businesses, not a lot of variables and was thinking this could be a good career. Then COVID happened and the instability of freelance affected me. I lost a client and then I started to panic and worry that we won’t be having any money left.
Now at this point I began to panic, all of this overthinking, my anxiety and depression was triggered and regrets and worries began to flood my mind.
I am experiencing:
-heartbreak
-palpitation of the heart
-cannot sleep due to heartbreak and the palpitation
-loss of appetite
-slight chills
-loss of passion to do the things I want and love
I keep asking myself what if I finished school earlier? What if I just developed my manhood instead of staying what I was when I was just a kid? Maybe I could have earned a lot more money and did not have to worry about our finances, my parents medication because they are now too old,
And then I just told myself: I should have grown up.